The save system is broken after I refreshed the page because the error popped up.

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@Drakona @Nexus_Knight Hi that was entirely on my end, I uploaded a file that didn’t properly have save files embedded in it I apologize for that! Sorry, still getting adjusted to CSIDE!

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I load my save but I do notice before the error popped that some choices that increase personality traits never increase.

For example:



Also I found an error when I picked all the choices in Investigation.

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@swatheford found this: line 118: No selectable options

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Just a suggestion : it’ll be nice if there’s an option to keep the Vernier’s pastry or to give it to Santiago, because i wouldn’t mind giving them the pastry since they gave us some food too :slight_smile:

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Right? All it needs is a bunch of kaiju in there somewhere.

Hi. :wave: Now, I want to be very clear that what I’m about to say next is of a pure informative nature; it’s not “oh no, you did a bad”, a recommendation, a request, or a purple unicorn trailing glitter. Purely informative, because I know some people don’t know this. Whenever you push an update on dashingdon, it resets all saves to the start of the chapter, so you may want to delay pushing any corrections to the same time when you push “normal” updates. Or you may not. Or you may want to flip a coin to decide.

Now, back into it!

Summary

Note that I didn’t point all the tense dissonances I found. Once you’ve written the whole thing and do a final pass (or maybe you prefer to do final passes every chapter? I dunno), you should keep na eye out for them. For example, check the second paragraph here:

I suggest switching the “you” in “The past that you didn’t know existed.” into something else, like “they” or “the Detective”. Using “you” suggests that the MC is aware of this going on (I actually went “wait, am I eavesdropping or something” when I read that “you”). Similarly, I suggest… impersonalising, for lack of a better word, the three options, (e.g., “Cass anxiously looks towards the door”), otherwise it reads like it’s an action by the MC (because so far you’ve used “you” to refer to the MC, but in the options you’re using “you”, it seems, to refer to the reader).

gasp How dare you, Mercado? You seemed nice!

““The color red, you know what red looks like?”” :rofl:

“Did it happen to mention the R’avenn family? Kali and Aamon?” Cass has all the interrogation skill of a bulldozer with a stuck acceleration pedal, I see.

“This is a black tie event, please be prepared.” I have to wear a TIE?! I’ll take the assassins/kidnappers/otherworldly abominations bent on cosmic apocalypse instead, thanks.

The MC says “Rest assured, we’ll find her” here, but if you picked investigating the scene, nobody has told you it’s a female suspect.

Dinner break.

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Clearly, one of Swatheford’s secrets is the massive invisible kaiju lumbering through the streets at all times.

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How did you know? :open_mouth: Here’s a photo I took of it:
image

Back into it!

And we don't stop till we reach the end!

Just to make sure this is working as intended: first choice lowers combat by 2, second and fourth choices raise it by 2, third choice raises it by 3. Is this how you intended it to pan out?

If I pick “What just happened (confused)” here:


I end up here:

Where Violetta is referred to as “Knight”, even though I have no idea where that came from. It additionally says “His warm gaze”, even though I’m playing with Violetta, not Vincent. I feel like you could add a bit more to the end of the confrontation to make what happens a bit more clear.

Or maybe that’s just me, everybody else got what happened, and it’s totally fine? :grimacing:

IS Isaldine relying on me? How would I know? Much like the end of the confrontation sequence, I feel like I took a detour somewhere that skipped some screens.

“A moment passes before all eyes fall upon you and stands up.” Who stands up?

I hate everybody involved in this:


Between “the rightful rule of light” at the start and “pff, agency, for you? lol wut no.”, the light side of this entire shebang is not looking like a favourite on the whole “curry the Divine’s favour” race.

Double negative in that second paragraph.

A’amon didn’t have an apostrophe in the dream sequences.

Oh, I seeeeee, we’re ending this meeting on a threat, are we? Isadine saw the Jedi Council be top light side douchebags in the prequels and said, “hold my beer”, didn’t she?

lol, “tele-pathetic”

Mercado scenes are a DELIGHT:

Two “stands a statue” in a row in the second paragraph.

Wait, didn’t Cameron figure out we were the Divine during the confrontation? When he looks at the necklace, remembering how reaction to it, and then going “I’ve been looking for you” (or something like that)? Because that’s the idea I got.

Aaaaaand I’ve reached the end of available content. There’s the ocasional hiccuping between tenses and some rogue commas (some are where they shouldn’t be, others aren’t where they should be) that you might want to take a read to fix, and I got a bit confused about what was going on between the end of the confrontation and crashing the Lumin council. But as geldar pointed out, this is a premise I’m all in for (well, you don’t have kaiju, boooo), and I’m going to want to see where it goes from here, plot-wise. :slight_smile:

I incredibly greatly massively dislike Isadine, as well as whoever went off about “the rightful rule of the light side” during that not-a-dream sequence.

As for the ROs, I didn’t interact enough with Collins to get a decent read out of them, but Santiago is a solid buddy, Mercado scenes are great, and Mayor Junior (definitely stealing that, Mercado, sorry not sorry) is that EXACT level of jerk that pisses you off, but not quiiiiiiite enough that you’d want to go to the trouble of doing anything about it. Which I think is what you were aiming for, so good job.

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UPDATE (V4.2)

(july 30, 2022) hello, hope y’all are doing well! i’m back with a patch update and here are some key features:

  • Additional Content! Previous wordcount was 57k to an even 60k!
  • Functional Coding! There’s been some choices that results in bug errors and all of them should be fixed!
  • Yell At Santiago! What everyone was waiting for. There’s a wider array of options in Chapter 4 including screaming at santiago! Be angry! Be anxious! Be in denial!
  • Better Grammar And Less Bugs!
  • Note: There was a previous version referred to as 4.1 - it wasn’t a major update as it was just bug fixes and some typos!

Minor Fixes:

  • Chapter 1: Quinn Zhang is now gender customizable and the ability to give Santiago a croissant
  • Chapter 2: The option to be mad at Santiago! (but passive aggressively)

Link is on the main post! I hope y’all enjoy and please don’t hesitate to reach out or give feedback! I will say that I’m more active on my tumblr but I’ll try my best to be more active here too! Thanks for reading!

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Wooot! Update Update! You are on fire! :hugs:

And yes plz, some of us don’t use Twiddle or other platforms.

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Yessssss, more Swatheford.

Yeah, I don’t really have the patience, time, or disposition to run through 20 accounts on five social networks, so I basically just check the CoG forum.

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Who are you romancing? I’m after Cass! Cass! Cass! Cass! Cass! #TeamCass :kissing_heart:

@swatheford Btw, how come when we choose ‘eyes colors’, there is no 'Gray? It’s my favorite eye color to pick for my mc. Pout

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Mercado. Sass for days!

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I didn’t even notice it, how is that possible (I also choose this color often)? :open_mouth: Gray eyes are beautiful! We need gray eyes!

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Stuff

The opening page still has a warning that the game contains depictions of “language” - I presume you meant coarse language or something like that?

I don’t think I mentioned it the other time, but I love how the MC’s innate response to being addressed as “dear” is “Gross.” Screw you, disembodied voice, I don’t know you.

(Stubborn being in opposition to Logical still feels weird)

Time to bribe Santiago via croissant!

Well, back in my first playthrough I said it was confusing, so now I’m behooved to say that I find the mirror-travel sequence to be much clearer. Thank you for the changes.

Isadine remains just as much of an asshole as I remembered.

Being disappointed in Santiago is great! Uh. Narratively speaking, I mean. From a BFF perspective, not so much. :grimacing:

Mercado is still hilarious all the time, every time.

Ok, fortunately I remembered what I thought was confusing the first time around, so this time I took preemptive screenshots. From these two instances, Cameron appears to be pretty aware that the Detective is the Divine:


However, at the very end of chapter 4, here:


Cameron pretty much goes “No idea about the Divine”. So, there’s two different Camerons, I’m misunderstanding something somewhere, or Cameron is pulling a fast one on his boss, who should most definitely “question [Cameron’s] loyalty”.

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@E_RedMark @Cingulum_diaboli – Hello! Just updated to include gray eyes! Hope y’all enjoy, thank you for reading! :smiley:

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Hi! Thank you so much for the comments, I love reading your thoughts! I just fixed the language warning and I’m still thinking about the stats page because I agree. I’ll most likely tinker with it soon and see what I come up with! Thank you again, I really appreciate your feedback!

As for Cameronhe may or may not have a few tricks up his sleeve :wink:

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POGGERS moment

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O_o

You can read my thoughts?!

Metaphorical backstabbing?! In THIS game?! Perish the thought.

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