Seasons of the Moon: Part One (UPDATED: 6/30/21) WIP

G being an actual hunter against supernaturals, I thought was the othere type of hunting, and it seems to be a touchy subject, looking forward for their archive in he future.

I love the option of jest about fleas in werewolfs, finally was said, I was waiting for this for a long time, thank ya Ms. Cross. :laughing:

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Congrats on getting chapter 3 out!
Overall the pacing and immersion was on point. However after our chat with the demon, when we head to the bar and then we go back to MC’s house to clean, I’d have liked a sentence there suggesting the gang will head over to the house for cleanup duty. Maybe Tara says something like “right, we have to take care of Flag and his buddies now. What a mess” ? And then scene change to them driving over to the house. I think it’ll provide a more solid sense of continuity to that part of the story.
Also when were chatting with the demon in chapter 3, I think an option for how the mc is feeling(agitated,terrified,excited, indifferent) with a demon and 3 bodies in their room just before the demon offers them the money will be more immersive and catering towards the MC’s emotions. Because otherwise it seems the MC is quite chill when the money is being offered given the remark choices we are provided at that junction(except a couple of em).
Oh and the end scene with Tara is just perfecto! Not overly sexual, not agonizingly detailed or slow, or weirdly worded. Just simple wording with light teasing … that’s way more refreashing to read. Didn’t help my situation as Tara is my MC’s RO of choice! :smirk::smirk:
You’re evil for that cliffhanger at the end though! XD…
That’s about it I think.
Any typos and errors I encountered have already been addressed by @Lea_Boucher :beers:

Keep up the good work.

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More great stuff!
I will say, I’m getting a sneaking feeling that things aren’t gonna be so simple, where the demo ended. Maybe I’m reading too much into things but there’s a couple reasons, in my eyes at least, why what’s about to happen shouldn’t be possible. Maybe I’m wrong though, we’ll see. :upside_down_face:

Also, really like Gabrielle so far, interested to see how, if what she said is true, her romance will be handled.

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Lol. I had to! I felt like that for sure had to be a problem at some point, right?

Thank you so much for that. I spent a little more time on these scenes so it would feel more natural. Also, about the other suggestions, I’m totally for that. I had re-wrote chapter 3 and was just tired of having it on hand. I had to get it out, you know? Although, I did not fine tune. It still needs quite a bit of work. I will lengthen some scenes and be adding more dialogue. Over all, a great help as always! :blush: :beers:

Oh, most definitely not simple at all! I’m glad you enjoy Gabrielle. She needs some love! Thank you for your interest. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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No worries. It’s quite presentable as it is right now. Just a tad bit of touching up on certain areas and it’ll be perfect. I perfectly understand what you mean. Keeping to your deadlines and making progress, sharing your hard work with others provides quite a feeling of achievement. And you deserve it. The readers will always patiently wait for your hard work to show through :beers:

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congratulations on the update :+1: :+1:

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Wow that was awesome loved it what a Cliffhanger can’t wait to to read more my new favorite lol👌

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Yeah, great update, the story flows better now with the order of the chapters, yup still think the MC is what I suggested in my earlier post especially considering one of the character flaws, can’t decide if I like Tara or Gabrielle for romance, yes I know they a both different, its the differences that intrigue me. Love the cliffhanger ending, can’t wait to see Tara’s face afterwards considering what you have hinted at :slight_smile:

Oh I meant tress or Gabrielle, but OK I like them all aghhhhh!

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Thank you very much! :beers:

Thank you for your kind words. I love to stop on cliffhangers! :joy:

Thank you so much. It’s been a lot of work! :blush:

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Do you ever make something, and no matter what you do to make it better… it’s still not good enough? Or really… it’s not what you want. As many of you know, I have revised the beginning of this story many times. I still am not happy with it. So, I have decided to re-vise the entire story! The main character is no longer a guessing game but a choice. Many things have changed. I likely will be changing the story name too. As of now, I will keep everything left up as it is until I maybe make a new topic. I will be posting a full introduction of the new story soon. It will be a way to ease you into the new world with you being able to build your character through interaction before entering chapter one. If you’re interested in what I have and want to discuss it/pitch some character powers, I’m all in. Here’s a sample:

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Well, this is a development!
The revised version and the earlier version are a whole different ball game. I feel like both are so different wrt the plot, we cannot compare them to each other and select the better one. They both have their plus sides.
I’m all in tho, can’t wait to see how you integrate the revised version in the story. Curious and excited to try it out.
If it’s any consolation, the story before the revised version was very immersive and enjoyable from the readers perspective. Infact, very polished, perfected and palatable than the first draft of the first chapter :slight_smile: (although I’ve mentioned it more than once now lol)

Keep up the good work :beers:

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Eh, slightly conflicted, mostly because I really like the ROs in the first version… Will these remain?
On the other hand, any game that allows a cambion MC is good as far as I’m concerned :rofl:

As far as storytelling goes, I’m sure you’ll manage to do an interesting story anyway

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Oh, that preview looks interesting, although I will miss the mystery of what the MC is, well good luck and I will keep my eyes peeled for the new one.

Hum Dhampir, think I know what that is, same for campion, as for vaewolf I can guess, looks like there maybe more options after that, not sure I like the idea of being a test subject/experiment but I do like your righting style and look forward to learn more.

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I meant writing style. :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’m excited for you to read the differences! :beers:

They will remain exactly as they were. The only change is that Azell will be a fallen angel instead of an angel. :grinning:

The original MC was a nephilim. :clap:

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Oh no… oh no no no!!!
I love Trent so much…
But a cambion x fallen angel romance is just… AAAH…

:rofl:
Guess I’m hyped now

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Gunna be honest, seeing Vaewolf there has me feeling funky. Probably because I remember Werepyres from Adventure Quest way back in the day. Wolfwing was a bro.

I havent touched Adventure Quest in like 10+ years but the idea of werewolf vampire hybrids is still really cool. No idea where you plan going with that particular topic, though the kid in me is deeply interested.

Your own thing?
Underworlds type of Vaewolf hybrids?
More Bestial type of Hybrid like Adventure Quest?

On that note I decided to look up Wolfwing again cuz of this. He’s looking pretty cool in their new game. Might have to check it out now and have some nostalgia attacks. :laughing:

Hes lookin cool even if cartoony

image

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The choice to either have or not have ‘top surgery’ for a mc who is a trans women is a bit confusing to me. Like, as an option it doesn’t really tell you anything about body shape or whether or not they have breasts or not so it’s a touch redundant.

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OK my brain is still saying Succubus :upside_down_face:

Still looking forward to the rewrite/remake, good luck.

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I played the hell out of Adventure Quest back in the day. Goodness, I have not thought of that game is such a long time. Such fond memories!

I will have three different designs to pick from and it will be up to the player to decide what best suits them. I haven’t decided on what exactly that is going to be yet since it’s not something that has come up in writing yet. I do like the idea of something horrifying vs cool in the choices, however. :blush:

I agree with you there. Since this demo isn’t going to be updated again, the option will not be in the new demo.

Thank you. It has been slow in coming forth since I have been too busy. :no_mouth:

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