Scratch (WIP)

I was only mildly interested til I saw your name.

I love Seven Bullets, too!

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This is pretty great. I like that you just flop down on the table a fully completed game with a limited scope (in a good way) and a huge amount of variety. Weird flex. Definitely ok.

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Holy crud…
I’ve never cared much for horror, or crime all that much either, but this is written so professionally and passionately. It’s an entirely gripping story at every corner, and there aren’t many works I’ve read that I can say the same for. In some ways I’m almost glad that there weren’t any saves, because it does add more weight to every decision you make. Even when the plot is given a moment to slow down objectively, it doesn’t feel as though you’re being allowed to rest. The climax paid off the build perfectly, even if I spent the whole time desperately wishing they weren’t guilty. I don’t play most of the games that lack any romance, and while I understand that it was there, I didn’t care that I never found it, because I was to engrossed in absolutely everything else that was happening. Hold on, gotta go play again, brb.

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Can we save Vasquez, Fritz and Norman from getting killed? Or their death inevitable? LOVE your game by the way! Well written and the plot and all of that is just beautiful and amazing! Keep up the good work!

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I managed to somehow win in my first run. The killer was Abbey. Vasquez, Grace, Norman and Fritz died. I fast forwarded a couple more playthroughs and I never managed to keep the other detective alive, is it possible to save him?

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Word count: 46,371

I have to preface this with this being a very enjoyable read, the characters were all different plus I didn’t know what was coming next. It also didn’t feel like I was getting spoon-fed who the killer was, I actually failed in catching the killer lol.

The game also feels very replayable with the seeming ability to save different characters and also, it apparently seems there’s different killers according to other comments which adds way more replayability.

The only negative aspect about the writing was that the dialogue between the MC and Vasquez felt like it dragged a bit for too long? Like nothing happened in between the first scene and the getting to the cabin. But besides that, everything else felt well paced.

But, and I doubt this was intentional (and now that I know that the killer can apparently change it bothers me a bit less so now ) the fact that one of the killers ends up being the only lgbtqia+ person and you end up finding out that she’s kinda of a stereotype of man-hating lesbians just really kinda disappointed me a bit. Granted, it seems to be based on playthrough if you even get her as a killer, and only at the very end, but that whole bit of dialogue at the end just really disturbed me cause it felt wrong?

That’s my only real main gripe, and it is a big one, but your writing was superb. From the path I played, I didn’t find any real typos not continuity errors. And if I replay this (cause that ending still kinda makes feel skeezy) then I’ll be sure to let you know if I find any.

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I enjoyed it shame the partner allways dies

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Yikes…I opened the thread only to be assaulted by two massive spoilers. And I’m talking about, like, game ruining spoilers. Thanks, guys. :roll_eyes:

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This is a ton of fun, and I wouldn’t know it was a first draft if it hadn’t been mentioned. With two playthroughs I only noticed a single (potential?) pronoun error in one scene following the discovery of Norman’s body (with Abbey as the killer). Someone asks “Is she…?” with regards to Norman being dead (I believe it was Dusty or Luna asking, meant to take a screenshot but didn’t woops). It could also be referring to Abbey in the scene (as in “Is she okay?”), but it’s not clear and I figured it was worth mentioning.

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I did see male pronoun used for the MC, somewhere. I didn’t make note of it, unfortunately, but there was no gender choice for the MC at all.

On another note, I named my character Vasquez, so it got a bit confusing. :grimacing:

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Thanks for the great feedback everyone!

@MindightWatcher Scratch is structured more like “And Then there were none” but with a hardboiled style. Thanks for checking it out!

@Hani_Fina It’s possible for Norman to survive. Fritz has a smaller probability of surviving. Vasquez …is not so lucky. Thanks for reading it.

@Alexander_Ambriz Try the “I got involved with an art thief” option if it comes up during your next playthrough. The romances are subtle, more like lost loves. I’ll probably remove the gay/straight description from the feature list before the game is released to better reflect the story. Thanks for reading it!

@gammahawk Darn those pronouns! They’re so easy to mix up. Thanks for finding it. I’ll double check that scene.

@Taylor_Enean Let me know if you find that pronoun error again. I tried to make sure there were no pronouns relating to the MC (so the story could work for male or female readers) but one must have slipped through. …And you named your character Vasquez? Ha! I should have added a split personality subplot. Ha.

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I think I’ve seen all the endings by this point, and first of all it was a really good read. The writing was fantastic, the atmosphere and the stories were all so dark but strangely hard to look away from. Almost everyone was a victim as well as a perpetrator; there was a very strong ‘one bad day can turn anyone’ vibe. I feel like coming out of a swamp…

The work as a whole is still more novel than choice-game. Across a playthrough there are approximately four decisions that actually affect the plot, and everything else is just flavor text. It would be really nice if we had the chance to save some of the victims (and not just change the targets).They could still be taken out of commission and effectively off the playing board/suspect list, which wouldn’t need that many changes to the subsequent plot.
(Especially Vasquez and Grace. They are actually fully decent people…)

I’m not sure about the schrodinger’s culprit thing though. First of all, since the identity of the killer is decided after all the clues are on the table, it makes it impossible for the reader to put together the clues and pin down the killer. It also bugs me on a logical level: that the events that happened before the book is retroactively determined by our actions in the story. It would make more sense for the killer to be predetermined by the start of the story, and we start playing in different timelines/alternate universes altogether.Also, since every murder has to have happened for every possible culprit, a lot of the victim-killer combinations lack sufficiently believable motives. Why did Abbey try to shoot Dusty? Why did Dusty/Luna kill Vasquez?
The characters’ personalities varied so widely between endings too. A inevitable result of having multiple possible culprits, but it seems slightly bizarre that even if the same person was the culprit, their personalities and motivations were different depending on the ending. For example, the Dusty that was distraught over accidentally killing Grace doesn’t seem to be the same Dusty that casually allowed Norman to shoot her.

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UPDATE:
-added more clarity to the driving scene (intro) and chopping wood scene (with Norman)
-removed the gay/straight description from the features list (in game)
-fixed some minor pronoun errors
-fixed some minor spelling and grammar errors

Thanks for the great feedback everyone!

@sljzz You’re right. The structure is much more like a novel. Seven Bullets (my first choicescript game) had a lot of divergent paths that sometimes felt too random so I tried to keep the plot really focused for Scratch . For my next game/book I’ll try to use more of a choice-game approach like you suggested. Thanks for reading Scratch !

Plot spoiler related to the endings:

]Did you read the ending/endings where Fritz is the killer? What did you think?

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I found those endings. Completely genre-changing.

It and a certain Dusty ending proved that malicious supernatural forces exist in this universe. The question is whether these forces had a hand in all the other endings.

Second thought at that time:

Actually that could explain everything, maybe Fritz’s the only true killer and everything else is just he and his pet demon testing out different scapegoat scenarios. Repeatedly resurrecting everyone and rewriting their memories at the start of each loop, adding segments that would make certain people believe they were the killer and/or needed to keep killing.
I imagine it would have some entertainment value to a being that enjoys corrupting people.

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UPDATE (2-12-2019)

Now that you’ve had a chance to read Scratch:

-How much should the game cost?
-What choices would be good for the screenshots?
-What would be a good image for the icon?

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Aren’t most CoG $3.99? Seems reasonable to me.

I’m torn. On one hand, the different killer possibilities adds more replayability. But on the other, I feel like it would be better both story and gameplay-wise to have one definitive killer. It would be more refined and the motivation might make more sense given more time devoted to it. I really enjoyed this game and would definitely recommend it to everyone, but…idk. It felt somewhat scattered. It kind of reminded me of that episode of Psych where they were running around in Billy Lips’s mansion like idiots. Maybe it’s just me.

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Omg everyone got some crazy ass endings. I just got a really sad one and couldn’t go on. I would pay $3.99 for this?

This was a really sneaky but cool reference.

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@N1GHTMAR3 You’re right, I think $3.99 is a good price. And I’m glad you caught the subtle reference to Seven Bullets! Maybe Ayporos will show up in future stories…

@ClaimedMinotaur Interesting. Thanks for the feedback. I’ve started outlining a new story and I’ll try to layer in more foreshadowing so the character motivations are stronger and feel more refined. I’m a big fan of Psych too!

@KitsuneGoto Which ending did you get?

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