Saturnine [WIP] [375K words] (Updated 15/06/2024)

Apparently I made a mistake. Yeah, nope! Gotta restart! I wanted to tell the master Fuck no! But was greyed out. Or something of a No, but only, yes master. Nope nope nope!

Besides that, its good. I exited quick and have to redo.

My post is mostly to this. Master keeps bouncing from he/she several times. So no clue if he is a he or she a she? Confused and need that cleared before I decide to go back to chapter 2. If. Depends on answer.

That’s just how the flashback sequence works. There’s a point there, and it’s pretty clear once you actually finish it.

In general, I don’t recommend resetting mid-scene just because you think you made a mistake. There are other sequences in the game that may give you trouble if you keep doing that. At least see where the choice leads before you decide to re-do it.

The only possible way a gender switch could happen with the current code is if you reload the first page of the chapter, since that’s where that character’s gender is randomized. I thought it would be more a feature than a bug, but I guess I’ll change that in the next release if it’s just going to confuse people.

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Enjoyed what is out so far, especially the dialogue portion with Dusk and the Path discussion with Da-xia.

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Thank you. Other than the first flashback, these two were the most… freeform scenes I wrote for this story, if that makes any sense. The parts where I was able to briefly forget about the plot and just dump all the characterization, philosophy and worldbuilding straight at the reader.

I should probably start doing that more.

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Okay, I have to ask. What are the angels? They apparently have the power to just decimate war in heaven era fleets, are a neutral(?) third party that are outside(?) the solar system, but what are they? Is it left intentionally vague? Am I just missing a scene where it’s explained? Is it going to be explained in a future update or even another story set in this universe?

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Since this story is about robot/android/bots how’s sex work for them if there is any? You put boltanf nut together? As far as the story goes apparently not all member is even have human like appearance.

Aside from the fact that the MC is a “companion” droid originally purpose-built for that sort of thing, I think you’re a little too concerned about the mechanics of how, rather than the more important why of the bond between them. This one isn’t meant to be explicitly descriptive erotica, it’s more just a story with romance as an optional side thing. :sweat_smile:

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Short answer, it is intentionally vague and you shouldn’t worry about it. As for why it’s left vague and weird… That’s a long story, and I mean that very literally.

See, I originally designed this setting about nine years ago, for a roleplay I was running on an obscure Polish forum. It was envisioned as a big world with lots of different regions that all have an interconnected, but somewhat scattered lore. Saturnine, meanwhile, is a single story limited to a single part of the Solar System, astronomical units away from the rest of the setting.

As a result, the world has some elements that are not really relevant to the story, but cannot be just completely skipped over either. Angels are just one example. I have their lore written down, but since they are happily flying around the Oort Cloud, explaining that lore would have been redundant. They arrived, they tore the Syndicate a new one, and that’s all you really need to know.

It’s basically what @LadyUmbreon89 said. The MC was originally a companion bot (not droid though, that’s just a Star Wars thing) and so was Hadaly, as well as Damon in a sense. They have all the necessary parts for sex, including coding that lets them enjoy it. There’s no possibility of reproduction, obviously, but everything else works pretty much exactly like human sex.

Which may have been a mistake on my end, since I now have to write five different sex scenes for the next chapter, one for every main RO. But you know what they say about making one’s bed.

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Okay interesting, I am just wondering since the author really make this push toward the romance side of the story, many dialogue contain shy and bold advance and tease.

Flesh or plate MC seems to be indiscriminately push to both. :joy:

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I wouldn’t be opposed to just reading pages of lore dumps tbh…

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That’s not something I expected anyone to say about my writing, ever. So thanks.

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Info dumps help meld into the worldstate.

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I second this sentiment, I’m the kind of person who can read literal hundreds of pages of unrelated worldbuilding lore that has nothing to do with the underlying story and be absolutely fascinated

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Helps remind if been away or going thru many WIPs in same genre. Usually the ROs trigger my memory in that aspect.

I mean it! Having too many lore dumps would probably turn off the people who are more invested in the story rather than the worldbuilding but I really think you should go into the worldbuilding more either as optional stuff you can access within the story(maybe as literal books you can read within the interludes, lol?) or as side stories.

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As a lore dump artist myself (oh, yeah, I was supposed to be writing a story…) I second this.

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Considering how old and travelled MC is, and how prevalent propaganda is within the Federation, that scene would inevitably turn into our character descending further into depression and misanthropy, as they get increasingly infuriated by all the historical inaccuracies.

Which, to be fair, is not a terrible idea now that I think about it.

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That intrigues me, being honest. I can dive into those shoes easier when MCs fit certain aspects. That would be definitely one I can.

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Minor Update. I went through the older chapters and did some editing. Fixed grammar, reduced bloat, added a few inconsequential options. Nothing worth replaying the game for, but it should improve the flow.

Also, I did what you psychos told me and added a “library” section to the Calypso chapter. Now there’s plenty of tangential stuff for the player to read about and for the Veteran to get angry about. Because if there are two things this game needed more of, it’s crazy lore and distilled angst.

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I’ve read through the library, and now I’m really really glad I brought up the idea of it because was as cool as I expected, even if descriptions of some of the societies in the solar system seemed written to be so dystopian that they almost seem to border on parody…

On that note, I have to ask about two specific bits about the federation that stood out to me the most:

How is the federation capable of…functioning, if these are not exaggarated? From the little glimpses of it we get, they seem to be capable of having a ‘modern’ state and a specialised economy, considering they can innovate and produce new weapons of mass destruction and produce new warships which would be just outright impossible with the new information presented. Just having a service sector alone at all would require more than 6% of the population, not to mention all the specialised fields that would require a literate population as a prerequisite. And it can’t be automation, since the AI for that is outright banned here. So, what’s going on?

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