There’s a difference between having a setting with misogyny (which I use as a source of conflict) and a misogynistic setting.
I don’t consider myself a misogynist, I have a setting wherein some of the cultures are misogynist. I use that as an opportunity to spark conflict. Seeing as my setting and story are very political ones, and political conflict are based off groups of people with conflicting interests. The best of those conflicts are between people who cannot simply be convinced to join the other team.
That being said, I DO find a pre-modern, “civilized” (and I use the term figuratively) society without any kind of sexual, racial or any other kind of discrimination based on some sort of immutable difference to be unrealistic, and even shallow.
Societies are based at least partially on hate: the belief that they must stand together because somewhere, out there, are people out to get them who are not worthy of joining them. Classical Greece, Rome, Imperial China and Japan (even today) are all excellent examples. In addition, these cultures are held together by common cultural codes, which include setting up a privileged class, be they warriors, priests, women or men. I don’t know of a single culture that did not disqualify certain categories of people from leadership, due to the circumstances of birth. Societies are built on inequality, an inequality that is only rectified when that society is able to worry about competition or survival so little, for so long that they can turn themselves to self-betterment.
I would consider myself a dishonest worldbuilder if I created a setting with many cultures, many societies and no such inequality.
That being said, after this one, I can always write a story set elsewhere (and elsewhen) in the Infinite Sea, that DOES take place within a fully gender-integrated society. Just let me prove to myself that I can actually crank out a completed story first.