I just noticed this too…its right after “Part 2” starts
I loved his grumpy ass from the time he came into the MC’s apartment bitching and moaning and tying up Lily! My MC did, too, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.
And I do have to say–that whole bar scene with Ash? Holy shit!! This line right here…
“Isn’t that what you want, though? All those stupid tiny hints you are throwing into my direction, trying to get a reaction out of me, aren’t you? Before resuming by trying to make me look small when doing the same thing with total strangers, that easily? I can make you forget about your identity.”
My MC was hoping he was going to prove it right then and there. (So was I, to be honest!) Ash is just frigging awesome.
@Jender If your MC had blond hair and hazel eyes, her stats would match my MC’s stats, right down to the badass leather jacket.
@E_RedMark oh nnoooo, I checked the entire doc to be sure if I had left any he’s and stuff behind. As my progress was going slow, I decided to write the chapter from start to finish excluding the choices, so made a “canon verse” and used the default mc name along with the male gender to make it easier and changed everything up afterwards. I checked the entire doc for them for the longest time :c thanks for pointing it out though- I’ll look into it !!
@Jender thanks for pointing it out!! I am really trying to fix those gender related issues, but I always end up leaving a few behind, seems like It.
@EvilChani ohgod yes, the bar scene with Ash is a rollercoaster. I mean Ash in general is a living, breathing roller coaster :’) I’m sad I was unable to finish the other ones- as the one I had planned for Ha is just painfully awkward and Amethyst is just painfully straightforward.
@EvilChani ahhhhhh…brown hair brown eyes for me! Too bad, I thought that I was maybe your Replica
Disclaimer: I’m not a native speaker, so take my feedback with a grain of salt
I groaned in frustration, headache finally managing to kick in and I placed myself next to my little sister and placed my hands on the surface of the table with a loud bunk and my friend flinched again, from the corner of my eyes and I sighed. This is too long, too many ands
note from me; It’s sometimes. Uncap
inside those blue eyes of her? Hers, I think
before and It really did leave. Uncap
I would do anything to make her happy but this ? I think there should be a comma after happy
I want to find my parents, yes, but was it all worth it? is it? Not sure
It was around 30 minutes after that, and I was fully clothed and unfortunately not being able to look at myself in the mirror, and combed my hair with the front-view camera of my phone. Too long, too many ands, I’d divide it into 2.
from Ashley. there were. Cap There
Bottles of water… a book when everything goes to shit and a small dagger, of course. I think put a comma instead of two dots, and another one after shit
I walked over to the backpack and opened it, and reviewed everything I had inside. Instead of repeating and, you could cut out the opened, since if you’re reviewing what’s inside its implicit that you would open it, or change it to reviewing
I smile, absent minded and shoved the small photograph in my back pocket. smiled? shove?
The options that come after should be capitalized as well
“how do you feel?” Cap
question, raising Her shoulders. Uncap
I’m happy i’m not going. I’m
"let’s just… go now. before some people. Cap Let’s cap Before
Standing In front of my own. Uncap
a behavior akin to impatientness. impatience?
Any idea’s for when we wake up. ideas
“lets just get this over with.” Cap
fascinating? That’s strange. Cap
Every instance of “stay quiet” must be capped
there wasn’t any traffic. Cap
" Ashley Ray Carter. She used to say “Fuck this world” but now when quote inside quote, use single quote ‘this one’
"err- nobody? Is it possible. Cap
"let’s walk on. Maybe we’ll find a better-safer place to stay. Cap and close quote
it was not even 5 minutes after that. Ah damn, did I report this already?
I messed my save
again. she was already on her feet, standing. Cap
“yea, sure, why not?” I said. On both genuine and sarcastic, cap
"But please, brother, Don’t let your guards down. uncap, guard
“an explanation is the least you owe me.” I might be repeating some reports, but cap that
You mean The Grayson House. Uncap the
" 'm sorry- I- I’m just. I’m sorry
" stop talking, " cap
Hazel tripped just behind him, still rushing behind the woman. Behind her
sideways to face the Woman only. Uncap
finally! I genuinely hope. Cap Finally
lets just… go inside before. Cap and Let’s
warm feeling to it. big, antique. Cap
! I watch a lot of tv, that’s everything. Cap TV
the counter. very small, but a lot. Cap
Someone stated, pushing me and Lily gently to the side to stand in front of the counter and placed her hand onto it. The tensing here is very weird, I’d change placing
other doors, Two of them were next. Uncap
my backpack onto the couch… double stop here, I don’t think it should be
Mona Lisa in her hands… head bouncing. Change double stop to comma
whispered, closing her eyes while hugging the thing… cut down a stop
Now lets have some me-time… let’s and one less stop
and scribbled down my and Lily’s name onto the paper. mine
pposite direction. she seemed. Cap
he shrugged, glancing back at me. she
through universes en potentially. and
The man in front of me stopped with shivering, looking at me with every emotion drained from the man’s face, and I took another step back. The man repeats
at their parents graves. parents’
lets do this. Those zombies. let’s
lets meet back at this. Let’s
lets just get this over with… Let’s and double stop
Tragedy repeats itself and yet again I’m unable to read as much as I want. I’m also wondering so we slept on the couch if we gave the double bed to someone right? It says we go back to the bed when we go to sleep. Also, we could eye nervously a RO when needing to decide who gets the bed, but I guess its waay too early for that and I’m just
thirsty thinking too much.
Anyway I’ll come back tomorrow :v
@Vilrek You’re a hero- seriously :'D Thanks! I’ve been trying to fix stuff up now and catching those typos you wrote yesterday (just casually going through all the typos everyone has sent in till now). Made me realize how many words I had left uncapped at the start- might be because back then, I just got into writing a choice script document and those do not automatically cap your words, unlike Microsoft Word c:
Also, yea, think it’s a bit too quick and early to be all cozy like that :'D don’t get your hopes up for future chapters though, the entire team is a bunch of clueless dorks when it comes to romance and fluff. But ofc they wouldn’t admit to that.
Aw, man! That sucks! Seriously slow burn, huh? My poor MC! I think my MC would tell Asher everything, and tell him she’ll kill everyone else and herself but she wants one night with him, so at least she gets to experience something good before it all ends!
I am a bit confused…Asher basically choked me and smashed my head against a wall a few times (hard enough where there was dried blood on my pillow later) and my best friend, sister and love interest all just sort of sat there and watched it happen? Wouldnt the sister atleast be freaking out? Also, as an MC there is no way I would tolerate this…even if he is twice.my size. Then later, when he "apologizes’ he also tells me to shut up? Then later he just CASUALLY punches the other Replica in the back of the head?! And No one even bats an eyelash at this behaviour! Yeah ok, he is going “crazy,” but this still shouldnt be acceptable behaviour. Also, there is definitely a difference between being “grumpy” and being a total dick! Maybe I read these parts wrong, but I was shocked that we couldnt atleast respond/be offended/stick up for ouselves or anyone else… and that everyone in our party also just stayed ambivalent. Like it’s just normal to punch someone you dont like out of nowhere?
I do love this premise,.and every other character. Those moments were just really strange to me. (Again, maybe I took them the wrong way?)
@Jender Oh shoot, I think I did write the freak-out parts- and one where Lily was being super sassy and cold with Ash about it, when the scene on the roof ended up for the worst. And maybe I should re-read those parts myself for a second, there, as the sequence at the roof is somewhat Ash’s worst point. But they wont be lashing out like that if their personality stat is trapped / sane, and let it go. I might have misworded some stuff myself in those bits- and double check the code to make sure if you were even supposed to read that, ah.
Thank you immensely for the feedback though- it’s really appreciated !! I’ll definitely check those scenes again (:
@EvilChani the slowest burn of all. It takes time, believe me, hehe.
geez…everyone calling Ashley -Asher, for a second there though I was in the other WIP where the main vilain name is Asher too
Anyway, speaking of Ashley and her insanity. How come we can read and have -3 insanity . Why cant we make her do the same ???
@E_RedMark Maybe Ash is the villain
I want to say “bEcAuse You aRe tHe maIn chAraCter AnD yoU neeD to Be AblE to,” like how you can get shot multiple times in video games and be ok but whenever your companion gets shot in a cutscene, they die.
But Ash has already crossed a certain line there. The MC just started traveling through parallel universes when they encountered F and Ash- with Ash having been stuck in there for ages. A simple book wouldn’t fix that. As for the MC, it’s still easy for them to keep themselves stable.
Anyway, lock Ash up in a room with lots of books and force them to finish every single one before being allowed back inside the team- maybe that’ll help.
Yeah, find the most boring book to read and make them read it. I betcha , it be Insta-cure
I find it super cute that Hazel can’t drop our arm :v
Also, is Haze a nickname for Hazel?
under all the layers of clothing She’s wearing. Uncap
we can look for the graves. Cap We
Fay then slowed down his pace. her
crimson red cemetery. I think you want to cap it all
If I looked good enough and It made. Uncap uncap
“Suddenly, I appreciated the choice we made to rest first before coming here, and I smiled at it.” —The last bit there is still phrased a bit awkwardly (personally, I would go with something like “and it made me smile” or “and I couldn’t help but smile”), but it is grammatically correct. (Credits to Corvus)
Just a few, If I looked good enough and It made me feel a bit more comfortable. Uncap If and It, and I think looked isn’t the right word
Hazel stammered a bit, shuffling over to us and shaking his head nearly unnoticeable. I turned around to face my friend, who’s face was even paler than normal. her head, unnoticeably, whose face
stay quiet," I heard. Cap
Wait, where those the scientists. were
Wait, where those the scientists Fay and Ashley were running away from when we first met?__ Yeah, we know for sure its “one of those scientists” because we saw them at our apartment, with the red tie, where one tried to kill us so we know they are evil
face coking into my direction. Cocking?
Away from the mens view, I. men’s
stay quiet," I heard a whisper. Cap Stay
can we just leave this place? I never liked graveyards. lets just get back. Cap Can, cap Let’s
set off gravestones near a small oak tree, and both of the graves had dried plants and flowers all over the graves itself. This looks off, maybe “and both of them bla bla all over.”?
Reaching the person disguised in shadows, we noticed Ashley looking equally as tired as we are, and claimed to have been attacked by the parallel version of herself and I resisted the urge to grin at that, and was satisfied by hearing a tired, faint. Cut down some ands
the entire lay out of the. layout
and at the Jumping bean. Cap Bean
I glanced over at hazel, who now stared. Cap Hazel
Though, there is a 50 percent change of another parallel version of us, having the same idea and we’ll have to. chance and cut the comma
In front of the jumping bean. Cap Jumping Bean
‘The first Replica was finally withing my reach’ is? Following the previous thought ‘They are here’
stand still and stay quiet, hyper aware of my friends warm hands entangled in my coat. Cap Stand, friend’s
without saying anything, I take. Cap Without
pulling myself free from my friends grasp. friend’s
Hazel shrugged, motioning a hand at the many white faced people behind him. her
And she- she was a lot cooler that I am, holy duck… I’m seeing a lot of double stops and I’m confused. Anyway, than
them coming though it before you appeared. through
lets fool the crowd. let’s
hazelnut eyes, almost glassy and surprised when mouth was hanging open. When mouth? Maybe her?
Good ol Taylor. ol’
stealing a glance back at the. Cap Stealing
y-yes, though, I am sorry but I need to go now. Cap Y and, not sure but I’d change tbe comma to after sorry
alright, if you say so. Call me. Cap Alright
so that was a relieve. relief
was priceless. how typical, too. Cap How
alright that was sorta amusing. Cap Alright
Just- don’t try to break my brother, please?" I think it’s try not to break
sudden hop subject about Alan, and Ashley lost herself, darkness covering any thoughts the woman previously had about Alan… About him is better
where we lastly saw Lily. last?
And If we don’t? Uncap
Lets not try to think about. Let’s try to not think?
Lets just focus on the crowds. Let’s
If you don’t mind me. Uncap
With a few ‘thank you’'s, the three. 'thank you’s
Everest before. hundreds upon hundreds. Cap Hundreds
Lets just push through or. Let’s
THIS WAS NOT GODS WILL. Maybe it’s the crowd, but GOD’S
stop the progress! cap Stop
not being Gods will. God’s
No, No! Let go off me. Uncap, of
find us one minute later. Cap Find
ours, lets just go. let’s
“He’s changing…” was the last thing Fay mumbled. I think it’s she if it refers to Ashley
We took the same room again… with the suspicious credit card of Fay. Fay’s suspicious credit card?
"Whatever you wan’t, princess " Add a stop, and want
Lily sing sung, and I rolled my eyes. sang
to watch tv or will we go. Cap TV
Something more gentle was behind them. gentler?
maybe not in this universe. Cap Maybe
Ashley who was eying me and. eyeing
my friends face. she would raise. Cap She
thinking i’m alone. Cap I’m
slip my hand in her. hers… really do it fast…
and a complete Jerk uncap
along with Her entire expression. Uncap
Thats it for today, see you tomorrow!
I might finish it tomorrow, and I’m still drooling over how Hazel and Lily cling to me like baby koalas.
finally giving into the pain and feeling the darkness. Cap Finally
…my senses came back to me. Cap My
We didn’t walk to far away. too
who the hell is that guy. Cap Who
“Run after the man!” Should probably not be a quote
"uhh- don’t get me wrong. Cap Uhh
“lets just move on,” I head Ashley mumble. Cap Let’s and heard
With a sigh, I nod at Ashley and followed them closely behind and around. nodded or follow
took a minute of 10 from where. I don’t think this is right
garage and hazel’s eyes practically. Cap Hazel’s
retreating back in the small apartment, (which had only two floors or so). into? And remove the comma? Unsure
this cold hour. she was. Cap She
dad taught it to me when we were in the garage. Personally, the garage here sounds weird because we already know it, so I would understand just a there
Its not even that bad. It’s
Lily had taken her place between me and Ashley, while Fay was sitting shotgun. Isn’t Ashley driving? It should be Hazel here, considering the last paragraph
optimism than one hundreds of you together!" One hundred or just hundreds
the chains itself falling and clattering. themselves? chain?
lets give it a name. let’s
lot of things. lets give our. Cap Let’s
actually, it would be nicer to name it. Cap Actually
whos side are you on?. whose
names and relieve washed over my friend. relief
guess seeing her own gravestone last time, left my friend a bit shaken up. I think the comma here isn’t right
but i’m just so scared. I’m
thanks, big bro. Cap
we had a car. lets just hope we can. Let’s
happened and It actually helped me with. Uncap
they’d probably consider sending us to. Cap They’d
struggling over the bag, the thief shoved Ashley bodily. Cap Struggling
no , I just want it so I can place. Cap No
that was my friend, who was. Cap That
Alan?! What’s going on?" Open quote
going through his hair and eyes staring. her
recognizable under all the layers of clothing She’s wearing. Status screen. Uncap
the figure. she tilted Her head. Cap uncap
way of stopping someones life. someone’s
the Woman finally looking up. Uncap
He didn’t look human. She
" Noi I am not okay. I just woke up in someones basement. No!, and someone’s
Oh, We are gonna pull. Uncap we
"“No- no , this sounds like a shitload of nonsense.” Remove an open quote
and how She told me about the storm. Uncap
plot for a bad 80s sci fi movie. 80’s sci-fi, probably not a rule so just consider it.
consider… no~ don’t even think. I think it’s no-
this. she was acting. Cap She
was my nice neighbors kid. neighbor’s
Taylor. she was grinning from ear to ear. Cap She
kidnap people and there’s no a hurricane trying to swallow. now?
but She cut it off early on when it was obvious. Uncap
there was a small silence where. Cap There
“Push Ashley to tell me how she met Fay.” No quote
I am not A Replica. Uncap a
freaking missing posters When I found. Uncap when
found a blond man sitting on one of the benches at the far end of the hall… all quiet and with hands clasped in front of himself- holding it up just in front of his face which was tilted down. I furrowed my brows and approaching the woman. It’s man, herself, her, it’s all Fay
Flynn nodded at the ceiling and. Fay
boat with a small ‘Tud’ before. Uncap
tipping Her head to the side and. Uncap
very subtly start a conversation. Cap Very
experiment on them, We were there before. Uncap
make some thee for the both. tea?
the wall, eying me up and down. eyeing
and he opened it up, drinking almost the entire content of it. it repeats
staring at me and smiling. Cap Staring
them? and murder them to. Cap And
away from them If I were you. Uncap if
hundreds of replicas in a cage is suicide. Cap Replicas?
You can see other, weaker Replica’s in your dreams. Replicas
"“He’s here alright. What are you gonna do to him?” Remove the first open quote
She was stood ankle-deep in the snow. She stood / She was standing
No please, I cannot, alright. Comma after No, probably
faith, and If I had made the good choice or not. Uncap if
aid kits. children were all sitting. Cap Children
reflections against the glass easiliy. easily
nobody Is going to believe. Cap Nobody, uncap is
now so let me. tick. this radio. Cap cap?
I wouldn’t have guesses it. guessed
“So the storm got worse” full stop here
Hazel’s hand- which was gripping onto my sleeve tightened when Lily shoveled closer to me. I’d change the - to a comma, and comma again after sleeve
again and my knees weekend. weakened
@Vilrek I’m going to write chapter 8 in all caps, just for you. Thank you so, so much. It took some time, but I fixed all the typos you noted- I’ll probably update the chapter with the fixes later on And yea, Ha was a koala in their past lives, Lily isn’t as clingy as them, at least, hehe.
Write it all inverted. sO THE CAPITALIZED ARE NOT, AND VICE VERSA.
Since I finished my first run, I think it’s time to suggest changing the save name used on the plugin from the default “mygame”, in order to not conflict with other games using it.(Corvus suggested it)
Also, another coding thing you could use is
*gosub instead of copy pasting the relationship limits every now and then, using a single one for fixing everything (I have 101% Compassionate :v)
“woooow Replicas are magicians! I want to be one!” Me: ducking chokes on my food
who mumbled a small ‘Uh oh’. Uncap, I think
All of us but Ash, who had fixed their gaze on the man. her?
Killing me won’t resolve any other than giving. anything
On your knees you, abomination. Put the comma after knees
screams became non stop now. nonstop, non-stop?
and Amethyst? The creature. Cap And
art gallery, escape it without getting. escaped?
escalated, even. deciding to accompany. Cap Deciding
EASING YOUR FIRNED’S CONCERNS. FRIEND’S
Hazel’s trait never got to Content, when reviewing it at the end of part 1 it is as it should be.
Also, I did everything for Lily, but Shale died, is she scared only because of that? Everything was good for her (except the scientist leaving too)
your companion on her to deal with the captured man. by herself? on her own probably
sternly and my giggle’s had stilled. giggles
Look Lils, ever when the light goes out. whenever
There… is a lot of weight onto your shoulders. on?
In some, metaphorical way she is- because. Remove comma
And If you are scared and stuck. Uncap
verge of mumbling ‘Mom?’ but. Uncap
her usually pushed back hair was all. Cap Her
somehow still being able to hunt my mind. haunt
How did she need to tell them? How in Gods name does she need to tell all of them about her being a Replica? I’m confused? Why? How could she tell them? Unless you follow with something like “in order to not get her killed by Amethyst” lol
the more she felt like her memories about her past was nothing more but a dream. were
*if ((ro_ha > ro_ash) and (ro_ha > ro_ash)) I think the second one is ro_f?
Amethyst and agreeing in that creature’s. to that creature’s?
and fay let out a painful groan when the. Cap Fay
Alan suddenly said- surprisingly calmly. calm?
about to trust Voldemort junior, please. A bit earlier it was Voldemord
break the tension and say something. Cap Break
What If Fay’s motivation resulted. Uncap if
I have enough problem without Ash meddling in. problems
“So what? You are going to get into my brain and mess around with my mind” add ?
Replica. and a very smart one, too. Cap And
and at that, a shiver went through. Cap And
No. doing this, I’ll be. Cap Doing?
Your meeting with Amethysts? I want to talk to him, too. Amethyst, her
Why do you wanna speak to Amethysts? Singular
“what about playing the hero and keeping your family safe?” Cap
staring up at the other man. woman
“I think It’ll… do her some good.” Uncap it
seeing of how caring and understanding Fay usually seems to be but the subject about Replicas seemed to change Fay’s entire posture. Comma before but
corner and eying me with a knowing look. eyeing
and she started speaking… I’m confused, some of these are capitalized, others aren’t, so I’ll just point it out
and this version looks too peaceful it’s almost unfair. Probably not wrong but I’d have either a comma after peaceful or so instead of too
for everyone , and she had. Remove the space before comma
Hazel alone- now? the woman was near the. Cap The
"'m sorry- just wanted to talk okay? I thought I needed to tell you something. I’m, also comma after talk
My save sent me back to the past, like to the mom dream so here’s a maybe repeated:
"put the light back on put the light. Cap Put
Ahh all my saves went back ;–;
"whatever works I guess but. Cap Whatever, comma after works
so you are going to drug me. Cap So
Don’t I have a fucking Squirrel?! Uncap squirrel
bread into water. if you did not, that baby duck. Cap If
and pointing at the death duck in the distance. Much as I’d love to see a death duck, I think it’s dead
voice of Fay behind us, and yelped loudly, jumping from her place and instantly back to her usual spot next to me, gripping my arm when staring at Fay with a frown. And Ha yelped loudly?
eyebrows raised, and Lilly giggled. Lily
that the name was The bean. The Bean
This is going to me so much fun! be
A pure white building covered and camouflaged in the snowy landscape there miles behind the fence lied the facility. This one is rather weird
on this earth which are unaware of our acts and plans. Planet Earth cap, also our???
The blue haired scientists looked up in near shock, scrambling up from her place and reaching out for her clipboard. Everything else is singular, so scientist
Those kids obviously have parents- and those parents will be looking for those tickets if we steal it from them." Open quote
right? A replica?" Cap Replica
The jumping bean, located just across the street- but was now a little bar, called the bean. Just that. The bean. At least the Bean s should be capped, not sure about the, also cap Jumping Bean
way into the Replicas comfort zone. Replica’s
shuffling towards the bar with my lips pursed together. I think the first part of this is missing?
Tell Fay to pick a fight with the Woman next to her Uncap full stop
Flirt with the bartender Full stop
Ask the bartender about the magic show Full stop
No, not at all. every day young souls. Cap Every
Well, this might be the famous young women, Amelia Clarke. Woman, is it Clarke or Clark?
She gives us such a majestic show, least we can do is respecting her privacy." Respect
Take you chance before it’s gone. Your
evening- right? our Replica will be there. Cap Our
with the previous Replicas Universe has come to their notice. Replica’s
“I’ve been to comic con and tell you what- he- people would think that the guy is just walking, living CGI rather than someone in a silly costume,” Amethyst is a girl
creature still had her good oll rack and cloth on. ol’ or old
“Or… he’s overhearing it from us.”
“Now Han’s next,” Lily. she and Haze
Fay can buy anything with that card of is. Never mentioned before, but it’s not like Fay is very hush hush about that cracked card of her. Not sure which one, but its her or hers on the first “is” and maybe the “her”
Check out the autumn- coloued Jumpers. It looks super cozy, perfect for a winter like this one Full stop, maybe uncap jumpers, colored
the fact that walking into amethyst. Or something, cap Amethyst
The creatures eyes switched from stoic to something else. creature’s
We we never a myth- or a. were
down onto earth where it continued it’s cleansing. Cap the planet
lost my entire kin for the sake of saving earth- it. Again
amethyst claimed, releasing the cap. Cap. Huh
actually gulped as Amethysts eyes seemed to get brighter. Amethyst’s
smiled softly at Fays concern, crossing. Fay’s
The knicking became louder. knocking
The storm is coming, again.
May I interrupt with some glorious news?
So Grayson came and visited us… all of these need quotes
one day? one and a half? Cap second One
Might be. Or it’s just an ordinary storm."
I’m pretty sure it’s our storm Full stop after second storm, quote and quote
Guess If we do pop in and out, we. Uncap if
more quiet as I realised Amethysts silence. Amethyst’s
mention Shale’s observation and findings on Amethyst
stay quiet Full stop on both, cap the first letters.
watching as Ashleys eyes perked up. Ashley’s
Ashley gaped as she stepped away, hand in Her hair and chuckling quite humorlessly as She glanced over. Uncap her and she
Hazel Herself pushed herself into. Looks weird repeating, also uncap herself
heart, It would be a waste. Uncap
Nope- stay quiet and let Fay make the decision this time around, I’m out. (forced if Fay is either distressed or distrusting) First, cap _Forced, second, she is distrusting and I can pick the first option, but maybe its for the second one?
standing at. was her home. Cap Was
her little mona Lisa bobblehead disappearing in. Cap Mona
would you like to… go inside? Cap Would
stay quit. Stay quiet.
“Nothing much to say, I guess?” Fay then asked with a shrug. She bit down on her lips, looking away from me when lowering down her hands again. “…he did not. I’m seeing you in my dreams, every single night- alright? I didn’t know what it meant until hearing it from Shale, two days ago. The man says every single Replica was able to see you in their dreams 'cause Replicas are connected to each other and mainly you so… I… figured.”
Large text I know. I picked the above option, not Shale, who is dead.
being a Replica, he’ll murder me on the spot. she’ll
They are my friends now- it surprises me however, how Amethyst just didn’t take me hostage and kills off Lily and Fee in an instance. killed, maybe instant
I pushed myself from the fall. wall
“But… but you told me…” Hazel mumbled. I told her I had no idea, she ain’t got the right to criticize me now
Lily came to stand beside me, giving me a small nod when grasping for my hand. “Lets save them Replicas, then.” Let’s, and I just chose to hunt them
all the Alan’s from across every existing. Alans
change the subject
let her talk
Stay quiet All need full stops, first two need cap
Its over, for now. Wow, what a ride. I got 107% Hazel, 104% compassionate :v
Dang, there are some pretty tough decisions near the end, I’m dying to see their paths. Also, maybe we can one day have some… whispers hand-holding… if its not too graphic of course.
I’ll now replay it romancing F, which should have been the first choice since Ha has WIP content
@Vilrek there are some very graphic hand holding on both Ash and F’s paths some stuff on Ha’s paths are WIPs indeed, along with the latest few choices.
Thank you so much for catching all those typos AND bugs, also appreciate those small few coding suggestions as they’ll be saving my life. I heard from different people how their stats were off the charts, so maybe I should fix that soon…
That bit with your sister talking about wanting to be a Replica, was such a “should we tell her?” Moment. Poor Lily ;’)
That was a very fun and emotional game!
I like Asher the most
Interesting story so far, but you really should fix the gender pronouns, too many male ones left when having the RO as females. About a third or more, which really disturbs the pace when you read a particular scene.
@Noran thank you for reading! I’m currently trying to fix all the typos and bugs, such as those gender-related bugs as there are a lot of them, before continuing with the new chapters. I already fixed a great part of it, but there are still many of it left, egh.
@Mistyleaf123 thank you so much for reading!!