Remembered: The Past (06/17/2020)

Hello, you lovely people! Hope y’all are safe.

Anyway, let’s get into it, shall we? As you can see, I’ve begun to work on something new, mainly, a new project! It will be big and it will most definitely haunt me at night and make me cry during the day. But I love it. I’ve had this idea for over a year now I believe. I even mentioned it at some point but the idea has changed a lot during that time.

Also, because I’ll be using this project in order to get through school next year, I’ll be very excited to get all sorts of feedback. What I mean is that this story will be a big part of my final grade.

So…

Plot

You wake up in prison. How you got there or even why you’re there, you don’t know. All you do know is, you hate it. And it definitely doesn’t help that you lack one of your senses. But to compensate for that, you have a power, an ability that no one else has: you can see and sense souls.
Everything seems miserable and hopeless, until one day, a group of people decides to turn the tides and break you out. Everything else is up to you and the future.

In this story you will be:

  • Able to choose between five challenges concerning basic senses (mute, blind, deaf etc…)
  • Choose between six different races.
  • Choose your gender (trans options will possibly be added at a later date)
  • Choose your own name because you’ll need one.
  • Romance romANCE ROMANCE.

The story currently contains the prologue and chapter 1 up to customization.
Currently, the word count excluding code is: ~5500 words
The word count including code is: ~47000 words

Do I have a schedule when this will be updated? No, I don’t. I will try to update this once half, if not the whole chapter, is ready. I will make small bug fixes and grammar fixes that will not be noted as an update in the heading.

ROs

PS: I will provide drawings (my own) to give a better understanding of how these people look. Because I’m not an artist, do not expect some crazy shit that makes you go WOW.

Faustiano/Faustienne Brina
  • Age: 320 years
  • Race: Dragnyoming
    The leader and oldest of the group of five. Having lived through many hardships over the years, they would be the best person to turn to in order to get some help.

Faustiano

Faustienne

Dylan/Danja Evesten
  • Age: 25 years
  • Race: Lupine
    The second in command and doctor of the group. Comes off as grumpy with that ‘‘You can go die in a ditch if I don’t like you’’ aura. It would probably be better to keep to their good side.

Dylan

Danja

Xin/Xiang Meiren
  • Age: 28 years (divine age unknown)
  • Race: Angel
    The spymaster of the group with a flirtatious quirk. No one is safe from this peacock so you better keep your secrets close to your heart than ever before they get scooped away along with the organ itself.

PS: Drawing will be added at a later date.

Akumu/Akashi Aka
  • Age: 21 years
  • Race: Demon
    A little depressed kid who’d rather go die in a corner with a Gameboy rather than look you in the eyes. Just…give this one the love and affection that I’m trying so hard to kill.

PS: Drawings will come at a later date.

Rick/Riley Stardom
  • Age: 23 years
  • Race: Enhanced Humanoid
    The ever-sarcastic pilot and engineer of the group. There’s always a joke or a snarky remark up this gambler’s sleeve. If you can’t fight them with fire, kill them with anecdotes and hope they shizzle and die.

PS: Drawings will be added at a date later date.

Feedback

I’m looking for all sorts of feedback. I’m most interested in your thoughts because those will play a part in my school project (all feedback will be anonymous to the judges).
If you find any grammar issues or if some sentences seem odd, let me know.
English isn’t my first language, but I am confident in my ability to communicate in it. But I am prone to mistakes, like everyone else.

Link

Link: https://dashingdon.com/go/6067

Warnings

This story will contain: some strong language, some violence, character death, possibly more but I’ll update this list as we go.

Update Log
06/17/2020
  • Demo uploaded.
252 Likes

This Is an idea that seems really cool. I’ve always liked reading books or WIPs where the MC has a disability. I shall read it soon but I just wanted to say your plot concept it quite unique

7 Likes

I wish you luck on the story it fun read

2 Likes

Ooh this one was really fun. I liked the customizations. One question though - can we have a custom name, or is that part of the story?

Anyway, this is really really promising, and I already like it. I have a soft spot for stories like these haha. Good luck on this wip!

2 Likes

Thank you for reminding me about the name! I had totally forgotten about adding in the option to put your own name because I did that part for three days. I’ll add it in once I get close to my computer.

4 Likes

This is really good! I was wondering when someone would introduce a handicap. Makes everything that more interesting or complex. Can’t wait for the next update.

Oh and one more thing @DecryptedDev is it possible to add Heterochromia, also being a Kitsune can there be an option for how many tails you have?

3 Likes

Thank you for the comment and the suggestions! For the eyes, I think I can implant an option for heterochromia. On the Kitsune part, it is set that the number of their tails depends on their age. I would say that currently the Kitsune MC has 2 or 3 tails (I picture them being between the ages of 20-30).

7 Likes

Ah I see. Guess we won’t have to choose the number of tails the MC has. Cool beans :+1: :grin:.

2 Likes

This seems really cool so far! Just a few nitpicky notes about word choice and such:

  • When choosing race: instead of “decent”, the correct word should be “descent”—lupine descent, angel descent, etc.

  • When Prentriss comes in: “a small kind smile” should be “a small, kind smile”.

  • Again, when Prentriss comes in: “As she walks, her short curly dark-brown hair bounces upon her shoulders and the white coat flowing behind her” feels a little odd. Perhaps “As she walks, her white coat flows behind her and her short, curly, dark brown hair bounces upon her shoulders” instead.

That’s all I took note of for now. But, again, this game seems really interesting and I can’t wait to follow it through its development!

7 Likes

Thank you for those, I’ll fix them as soon as I am able.

4 Likes

ooohhh, I really like this so far! I love it when games give me siblings! I’ve always wanted a little sibling! I hope we get to see Addison again, I’ll love her forever and protect her at all costs :3 Love the concept, the mysterious past is :+1: What’s here is a great read so far!

Also, what do you mean “not an artist”?! That’s so good :open_mouth:

Some comments:

There’s about 12 pages to get through before you get to a choice, I think it’d be more immersive if we had a couple of fake_choices in-between? Like, deciding how the PC feels about the adoption situation and if they wonder about their bio parents, letting the PC choose how to interact with Addison when she says hey (it could even be a chance to establish a bit of personality!), or a choice in how you react when she says the forest is a dream (angry, afraid, confused…), PCs own opinion on people with powers… lotsa options! I’d just like more choices :grin:

Also I choose for my PC to be mute, but they talk in the beginning with Addison regardless of anything. Adding the option to be silent would be neat (Actually, I guess you could chalk that up to dream logic? I mention it case it’s not what you were intending tho!)

Best of luck with the WIP~

4 Likes

The demo was really fun to play and gotta say this was quite unique and creative. Looking forward to your future updates. ohhh this is going in my bookmark

3 Likes

Thank you for the comments!
I will probably try to add in some more stuff and choices for the beginning. As for the dream part, the MC can talk in that scene because everything is possible in that dream.

6 Likes

Almost anything that lets me play as a werewolf or a demon gets a pass with me :grin:

But seriously, this was nice! I liked the premise, I liked your writing, I liked the customization options and I appreciated the ability to play as a specially challenged people (is that the right term? I’m sorry if it isn’t), it’s interesting and gives normies like me a look into what many people around us suffer (even though they do not live in a world infested with supernatural) from.

All I can say us good luck and keep up!

Also;

We will try to do our best to help you with that😅

5 Likes

Small update!

I added in some choices in the prologue and in the start of chapter 1 as to not make it feel like just text. Fixes to both grammar and some odd sentences were also made. You may also input your own name now! (Sorry I forgot to add this in!!!)

1 Like

Okay I haven’t played this yet but the plot details caught my interest, especially considering you’re allowing an option to be deaf and I was born completely deaf irl so I hope you dont mind if I offer my blunt criticism about that after I’m done reading the current WIP that you have.

5 Likes

It would be an honor to be at the end of any criticism you may have for me.

5 Likes

Already in love with your character design… I mean, it looked very original and awesome. I’ve never saw any other character that looked like yours even if it’s just at glances… and that’s good.
Love them :heart:

4 Likes

Okay, I just finished reading the current WIP and I have to admit that the way you wrote the deaf MC is the most accurate introduction to being deaf which is a big thing because most entertainment medias or anything else fails to hit the mark or comes so close to it and end up missing it.

The sign language, the tablet with the doctor, lipreading and having to have someone come wake you up in the mornings? That’s a regular occurrence in the daily life of a deaf person. So thank you for the accurate portrayal and keep up the fantastic work with it.

8 Likes

I haven’t clicked the demo but I already like it :blush: Gotta go and try it out!

Edit: I just finished playing it few times. I must say that I’m already dying from curiosity :laughing: @DecryptedDev you are so heartless to leave me hanging there! :persevere:

4 Likes