To the point about the sunglasses: I’m quite sure I mentioned that everyone around you wears them due to the lights of the city, but I’ll go back and look if I didn’t include that and only left it in my notes
so, I’ve finally managed to complete chapter two! the overall word count changes from roughly 10k to around 21k without code. average walkthrough is around 17k. I think I ended up rewriting the beginning of the chapter 4 times and I’m semi-happy, so if you have any comments or tips for improvements (in case it’s boring) let me know!! I’ll definitely go back to write a little more to the entire dante/delilah scene in the next few days.
this update includes
completed stats screen
fixed typos and missing stat changes
you’ll interact more with almost all characters/romance options
you’ll get to choose your style AND your fake ID!!! pls someone tell me they get it
some more terrible smart-ass comments you’ll get to choose!
NEW CONTENT WARNINGS : graphic violence (depending on your stats), needles and suicide are mentioned
AaaaaaaAah it makes me happy to see a new update!! I’m a little bit late but… yeah!!
Soo… the killing part okokokok alright! I got it! No problem!
And then D! D went to mc’s house only once but already lives in my mind rent free~ Such a charming character… Or at least that’s how they look!
Also fake Id Ripley??! Uhmm?? YES?! THANKS!!
Some typos from ch2
"You got stabbed on the way home? How nice, how original. She scoffs, rolling her dark eyes exasperated.
-the uninvited you’re
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not that forgetful, no matter how many you’re old jokes you have stored in your peanut brain.”
-missing c in announces
It’s a fast, noisy and simply breathtakingly beautiful sports car that announes itself by the way the engine purrs.
“E. Ripley. Warrant officer. Pretty new to the job. Let’s hope no aleins try to kill you.”
Found this on tumblr, but I’ve gotta mention it again that I adore the mc in this one. They’re such a chaotic mess, imperfect but capable. It’s very refreshing to read and play as (and I can already tell the angst will be so juicy with D if we choose them as a past partner)
holy shit please, i need mc to be able to continue calling jax, jaxxie purely to piss him off bc they can. my mc would do so until the day she dies and if her antagonizing leads to him attempting to kick her ass, she’ll gladly return the ass kicking tenfold.
chapter three is here! after a massive amount of time, which I’m very sorry about. I’ve read through the entire demo a couple of times as well and noticed some things I’m not very happy about so I’ll be changing some things in the near future, but I’ll get to that when I’m done witht them! this chapter is a little shorter than I wanted it to be and bumps up the demo from 21k words to 30k without code since I had to cut a couple of things that’ll become relevant again in the next chapter.
this chapter includes
ogling jax some more! and annoying him to no end!
meeting royal for the first time (the majesty has arrived!!!)
trying to save your ass from getting kicked by orla
The dancer looking for something to bandage your wound AFTER removing the knife is a bit dumb to put it politely, and our hero would’ve been bleeding a lot more than what you described once it was removed.
Hello! I found your story on Tumblr the other day and I must say that I’m completely hooked. The world building is good, the pace is good as well and I absolutely LOVE the three ROs that you’ve introduced so far. Specially Jax and after reading that car scene I can’t get him out of my head because whoa dude that’s so badass. Looking forward to the next updates.
I did find a few typos though and some grammatical mistakes.
typos and other things that I think should be fixed