Hi can you add save slots? Is there any perks in being tall? And can the character have a top maid taking care of it.? I know the character is something evil but maid ro is a thing!
Interesting story, I like how you write the story, although perhaps some people might think that it’s a bit unsuitable for an IF story?
Also, perhaps you could let us know first what is the advantage or disadvantage of each race when we choose it? That way we could have a second thought before we set on one.
By the way
Hi there, still working out the kinks with save slots, I’m not entirely sold on them, but I’ll see how it goes. Yes, your height does affect certain elements of the story; in some cases it may enable you to see things another height otherwise would not. As for maid ROs I’m afraid that the closest romance options to that would be, erm, characters that have not yet been introduced or even mentioned yet, and even then that’s only if you squint at them.
To be honest I’m writing this more for myself than anything else. Not to say I’m not open to suggestions, however, but whether or not someone thinks it’s appropriate for an IF story isn’t something I’m worried about. If someone doesn’t think its suitable then it’s their opinion. But I am glad you enjoy it. I will go and fix the typos now, thank you for noticing them.
(Author has said its fine but im curious anyways)
Why did you think this particular piece of IF would perhaps be unsuitable?
For me it would be unsuitable if it had a player character with name/personality/sexuality set in stone and all your choices are railroaded in a particular playstyle.
(Or it goes againts the ethics of COG)
But this wip doesn’t have much of that if any, in my view.
Well this is just my personal opinion though, so take it with a grain of salt. I just think that perhaps the story could pick up the pace a little bit, a bit too long I think. Or, maybe insert a lot more to a page before you break it into another page…yeah, I think the story have too much page break between choices, especially the during the first chapter. Again, this is just my personal opinion, you may disagree with it.
I see. I completely disagree however as thats kind of a one minute issue that is easy to remedy. Its not so much as a core issue of the game design itself see.
I think the original intended vision of the game/story and the variety in character alignment choices more than makes up for that.
Anyways, sorry for derailing the thread a bit op.
No, I am very much open to discourse and discussion on anything game-related. I don’t think it was derailing the thread at all.
As for the page breaks, as of right now that isn’t my immediate concern, but I will take them into account in the future.
this is super interesting and something I will definitely keep an eye on, I like villains and villain protagonists so I can definitely say I’ll enjoy this.
Oh, i was playing the last update and reading the prologue, then i remembered a nitpick i had that i forgot to mention: when we are going to assassinate the queens, we already were with a loaded crossbow in our hands, so i didn’t see any logical reason to use any other thing to kill them, magic being the most illogical one for me, as i would need to get the tome and cast a powerful magic, and that would give people a lot of time to stop me if they wanted… So i find it unfair that is this choice that determines one of our proficiencies.
Okay, perhaps it isn’t quite so specific in this version of the prologue, but that choice determines what weapon the player has on hand, you don’t have all four weapon types with you at the one time. Though, I can see how that can be misconstrued. It’s quite an amusing thought, actually.
Makes sense! I admit that, even though i didn’t thought about it directly, i must have unconsciously assumed we had a backpack or something similar to carry all those things with us(never know when anything might be useful… >.>)
I opened it and saw a different title WIP and was confused for a second. I’m guessing you renamed it.
Man, for a short WIP demo, it was still enjoyable. I like the writing and how there’s so much mystery about the MC and their past. There are a couple of things I want to mention, though, even if I’m being nit-picky.
You use em dashes a lot. They’re frequent enough that they’re actually rather bothersome, the above picture being a prime example. You should cut down on using them, especially when there are cases where they can be replaced by some other punctuation or be worked into the sentence a different way. Also, you’re not using the correct symbol/dash for them. You use “-” when it should be actually be “—”, which is two times longer than a regular dash.
There was a mistake I came across when playing. I chose the naked elf dude who goes to tattoo parlors a lot as the one who appeared in my dream, and when you choose to sit opposite him, you get:
If you choose to sit next to him, you get:
So, unless I’m severely hallucinating, I’m pretty sure the two choices are switched.
One more thing to point out is the sentence right after the first choice, which is, “And does not miss.” Pretty sure that’s supposed to be, “And do not miss,” considering the tense of the sentences right before it.
So, other comments/speculations/questions that aren’t criticism:
I think it’s pretty intriguing how we have an incredibly vague image of what sort of life the protagonist has lived up until now. I’m also interested in the whole “you-shape-your-past” thing. I also like all the small hints that the narration gives (often depending on which messenger you chose). About the ‘messengers,’ this is probably going to be fairly obvious to everyone, but I’m guessing they’re minor gods/deities or servants for gods/deities. I’m also guessing that they’re known by name in whatever religion(s) this world has, which might provide clues to their exact identity later on. Also, you can only choose one ‘messenger’ for the rest of the game, right?
What I noticed was how all of the messengers essentially told the MC, “Hey, you fucked up real big and you’ll probably die if you don’t train,” though the message was more/less clear depending on who said it. I also found it cute(?) how depending on what your weapon choice was, some of the ‘messengers’ either praise or criticize you, though others didn’t really bring it up. If I had to say who my favorites were, it was the elves and the bird dude. I found the sword-wielding elf guy charming but suspicious while the naked tattoo elf guy kinda funny in the way how he’s fond of you to some degree but tried not to show it. The beard-with-birds dude I found cool in general, but someone please give him antibiotics for his wounds. Also, will there ever be a choice to give the naked elf dude at least a loincloth? No exhibitionists pls lmao
Another thing I noticed (hopefully I’m not reading too much into what you wrote) was how all of the dream sequence people had some sort of attachment to you, some obvious, some not. I don’t know if I’m being weird, but that sort of elicited a, “D’aww, that’s cute!” reaction out of me. I also did see how you could choose to still be wary of them, regardless of how kind or rude/brash they were. One dream sequence scene that stood out to me was the, “Oh! Kitties!” choice for the warrior. It got a chuckle out of me.
One thing I really wanna know: how many love interests are you planning for? (And I kinda specifically want to know if any of them are the ‘messengers.’ That’s probably heading into spoiler territory, though.)
Overall, I’m excited. I know that once the full version comes out/it gets updated more, I’ll definitely enjoy all of it.
nopsy , they are not ros
Oh, wow, somehow I missed that. Thanks for letting me know!
yep. Figured may as well.
Yeah, that… looks incorrect. Thank you for telling me.
Oh no! I’v been caught out! But yes, in case it wasn’t blatantly obvious, they are deities of some kind and they do have names which will be revealed later. Yes, as the chosen messenger plays a certain role in the story that is a major spoiler unless you look at the game’s code, you can’t change who they are. You will, however, meet the others at some point in the game.
I’m glad you enjoyed them, honestly I find it difficult myself to choose a favourite as they are all interesting in their own ways, at least to me. I… may allow such a choice in the future, but there is a reason he is depicted without clothing, and that reason is probably obvious with his status as a deity.
SHHHH! You’re reading all my writing just how I wanted it to be read! But that was kind of the point, yeah. Their supposed affection for you is very much spoiler territory, but I am glad it showed. But for the warrior, I figured I would be remiss if I didn’t give a choice to make mention of the cats…
Well, all I can really say on that front is that I am planning for at least a few. I’m not fully sold on some characters being love interests, and I’m unsure how an asexual love interest would be received though I’ve all but locked that character in regardless. At least, I can say, probably six, but there is probably going to be more. It’s… a long game.
Well, I’m glad, because in the next update we’ll finally meet some character that aren’t a mysterious messenger invading your sleep.
Hmm, spoiler territory deities that care for you and also boost a stat of yours that they seem to be proficient in.
We wouldn’t happen to play a demigod in this story?
REGRETS? I HAVE NO REGRETS.
I do like the new title though.
sweats profusely I said nothing at all.
I think it did need a change tbh