Raishall (WIP)

On the longest night of the year, spirits that hunger for blood creep close to the veil that separates life from death. If you disturb them, there is only one way it can end.

Hi everyone,

Raishall started life as an short entry for Ectocomp last year. (Recommend this comp, lots of fun, runs every year!) Anyway, because it’s written to a time limit, there were things I didn’t have time to put in that I would have liked to, and a few people expressed an interest in having it expanded out a bit so I’ve been chipping away at getting it written and debugged :slight_smile:

For anyone who saw my Short game troubles thread the other day, I got the game debugged and have popped it up on Dashingdons. Although it is significantly longer than the original (in wordcounts at least due to branching), it’s still too short overall :confounded:

I’m seriously thinking about writing an alternative perspective version of this from the other side of the veil, let me know if that would possibly be of interest? I had a lot of other good suggestions from the other thread as well so hopefully I’ll come up with something to get it over the wordcount line. Now that I’ve got it up, if anyone has more suggestions, would be happy to hear it!

Couple of explanation points:
This is very short. I know, not a popular thing. But I’m not planning on turning it into a really long game, (No really, I’m being serious this time :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: I really do have too many other long WIP’s that I’m working on to add to that list right now. If by some amazing streak of luck readers actually like it, it can possibly go on my list for a longer story set in the same world at a later time.)

It’s written in the first person. I know, another weird choice, but I wanted it to feel more personal. It does have an optional character generator for anyone who would like to use it. Is it easy enough to find?

It doesn’t have a proper introduction like most CSG’s. Again, this comes from its origins as a short speed written story. If possible, I’d like to try and keep that momentum going by not adding one.

It’s dark fantasy. (Not leaning big time into horror imo, but the boards made me choose a category on the list. Edit: Ok the tags are being weird, now apparently I need to call it high-fantasy after an edit :woman_shrugging:)

What would I like feedback on?
Anything really is very appreciated :slight_smile: But I guess especially:
Thoughts on lengthening the game and/or if you’d want an alternate branch.
Is anything missing from choices that you feel should to be an option. (ie I wanted to respond like this, but only had the option to do that.)
Grammar/spelling/coding issues.
I usually write CS games in 2nd person (You, your) where as this one is first (I, me, my). It’s a hard habit to break. If anyone sees any random “yous” floating around that shouldn’t be there I’d be grateful if you could point them out for me.

On my todo list:
Some compass images in the stats menu will be missing. It’s because I have to make a separate image for every combination of symbols (there’s no way to combine images seamlessly based on variables) which I haven’t finished yet. (It’s not an error, it’s just going to take me a while.)
Various text headers.
Possibly a new title image. This one was concept art when planning my ectocomp entry. I kind of like it in a rough speed sketchy art kind of way but don’t know if anyone else does lol. Haven’t had a chance to investigate options yet.

Thanks in advance :slightly_smiling_face:

Link to the game: Link

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I like it a lot.

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It was short, but very nice to read :wink: :+1:

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So I’ve been wondering if there are any WIP’s that you haven’t read because I seldom find one without you in the thread somewhere lol😂

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Thank you @Eiwynn and @Vashnik! :blush:

@Nick_Miller: Eiwynn sees all on the CS forums :slight_smile:

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@Jacic 's threads are fun to read… very inspiring.

:two_hearts:

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I like this short story! Intriguing. Now I have to work on getting every ending…

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Of this I have no doubt :joy:

I’m not gonna lie, I usually prefer 2nd person games, but decided to give this a try because I liked the name of the game and the image, and I was not disappointed! I didn’t catch any yous floating around, but I did pick a few things: “The ruins are keyed to the deity who’s star I was born under (…)”, shouldn’t it be “whose” instead of “who’s”? And " (…) before poring the liquid from the unstoppered skin into the polished obsidian bowl." since it’s liquid-related, I’m pretty sure the verb should be “pouring” :eyes:

Anyway. I had to look up “gossamer” because I had no idea what the word meant :joy: as soon as the anchor thing showed up, I thought “I’m gonna have to pick north as my element, won’t I?”, and, I gotta say, it was nice to have that confirmed. My first summoned creature was Shatarn (and then Careperat, and Tyroporya, and then Kalaneraya…). And then I tried to mix everything up and got Shatorn? By then, I thought I knew what I was doing, and, obviously, I was wrong (at least I got an achievement? :joy:). Got Carotort, then Shatarn again, then Tyraneran, then… Tyranarn? When I purposefuly tried messing up the ritual (by then I kind of gave up trying to understand their names, though I feel like that might be something really obvious I’m missing…).

After maybe twenty minutes (and some ten more creatures) trying to figure out how to get the Tangled growth achievement, I got Kalanarn, and went “did it work??”, don’t ask me why, BUT it hadn’t. My dumb self finally realized I hadn’t tried all the combos of north/south and I’ve been facepalming since then lol

The only thing I missed was the chance to find out whether the chief was truly guilty or not, even if the line “You want to end up like the last person who disagreed with our esteemed leader?” kind of made me think he was. Besides that, maybe when you get the summoning gone wrong achievement, you can still have a chance at getting the creature to listen to you? Even though I liked the scene the way it went :eyes:

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Thanks @Diandra and @groundzero, glad you liked the game! :grin:

Oh wow, thanks for reading heaps of different combos and taking the time to let me know about the spelling errors and your thoughts on this @groundzero!

The names do vary depending on what choices you make through setting up the ritual (it’s kind of a multistage thing.) I don’t think you’re missing anything obvious. They shift around depending on what you attract :slight_smile:

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Depending on how you want to approach this game that would definitely be something intriguing to explore, as well as maybe add a little bit of world building on what li–er, existence is like on the other side? It’s definitely piqued my interest.

Maybe not as a title image per se, but I really like the image perfectly conveying the atmosphere you’re aiming for. Hard not to get 2spooky4me when dealing with ghosts and the like.

Some more general thoughts:

  • Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said it’s short, huh?

  • Definitely a unique take for what feels like a puzzle game and us playing Dr. Frankenstein. Not every day you get to summon spirits and monsters and end up watch things go horribly wrong from the perspective of the person doing it. :grin:

  • I’m getting a strong Celtic vibe from the setting. Is that intentional? I went in completely blind so I’m not sure.

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Thanks for the thoughts @RagEgnite :slight_smile:

No :confounded: This is what happens when you plan a story to be able to be written in a short amount of time. Although I’ve spent a lot more time on it since then, it’s hard to change the basic structure and pacing. Lesson learned!

Thanks! I like unique, that’s a big compliment for me :smile:

Not intentionally, but I’d been reading a lot of mythology including celtic mythology around the time I wrote this so it’s entirely possible those ideas bled through into the writing style. (The game I wrote directly before this one was about Each-uisge which are Scottish water horses. Nice pick up :female_detective: :horse:)

The original idea had been rattling around in my head for years believe it or not and was probably influenced at some level by some Native Australian myths about the dingo (a type of native dog) I heard a long time ago. One talks about an evil dingo (Kalpunya) being summoned to kill people in a neighbouring tribe who caused offense by refusing to take part in a ceremony when asked. A second talks about a dingo spirit being created as a guardian out of branches and animal teeth by a man with magic to protect his people against a monster. This story bears little resemblance to the original myths, and as you say has more of a celtic feel now that you mention it, but is where the idea probably started from originally.

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