This was great! For the enchanter section, I really liked the pacing of the ritual, and the descriptions of each step in the process. I like that we get enough details to understand the setting and the Raishall’s backstory without halting the plot, and appreciated that character customization is carried over. I enjoyed the difficulty of making the ritual a success, and had fun even as I got the different bad endings, as it really showed how dangerous the spirits are to the Raishall and their clan.
For the spirit section, I loved the twist of suddenly playing as the entity that tried to trick the Raishall and was then summoned. I enjoyed the experience of seeing the ritual from a different viewpoint, and I liked the battle section at the end. I also liked the vision of the past, although to be honest, I thought the spirit section should be the last section visited – that way, experiencing the present ritual doesn’t happen twice in a row and there’s a narrative buildup from the mentor being tricked/failing in the past to the spirit’s endings where the current Raishall is the antagonist and the spirit’s oath can make it so everyone survives the night.
Typos
Growing up in a tribe with your particular gifts is never easy. No matter how much I’ve always been told it was a gift, it also keeps me separate from everyone else.
Is the first sentence supposed to be in second person, since the second sentence (and the rest of the first section) is first person?
I begin to recite the mantra of protection once more.
The “once more” doesn’t make sense if the player doesn’t choose the “recite a mantra” option earlier.
Should we meet under such circumstance all I would see will the dismay in his eyes that I’d forgotten every lesson he’d drilled into me over the years.
Add a “be” after the “will”.
Time has little meaning here beyond the growing hunger than claws inside.
“than” should be “that”.
They require the help from one of your kind, yet you can tell that the very though of summoning the darker denizens of the never-never fills them with dread.
“though” should be “thought”.
Still, you to be forewarned is to be prepared.
Should the “you” be removed here?
You feel the shield that protects their mind wavering as they consider your words.
This is repeated twice if you choose the greatest desire option.
The realisation dawns that they are trying to cut you off from the magic that feeds your presence.
I noticed that in the spirit section, the Raishall’s pronouns flip between she and they.
Unprepared for the onslaught, the Raishall sinks to the ground trying to protect herself as best $[she} can.
It looks like the first bracket needs to be changed.
$her moves voicelessly as if in a silent plea to make it quick so they would not suffer further.
It looks like there needs to be brackets, but is that the right variable?
"We know of you troubles human.
“you” should be “your”.
Also, I really like the headers!
