Quiver: a Robin Hood legend. Official Topic and first draft of Chapter One complete!

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

I am happy to announce I’ve finally got to a point where I feel I can post Chapter One. It is 95% complete (all that is to add is the very end of the romance scene possible with the courtesan Nell).

Now, let me talk about Quiver. This will be an interactive historical fiction story with a sidestep into alternate history in places where the story deems it appropriate.

Synopsis

Quiver

Pull up the hood of the infamous outlaw stalking Sherwood Forest. Lead your band of Merry Men in your quest to steal from the corrupt nobility as you deal with the evil machinations of the dastardly Sheriff of Nottingham and his cronies.

Live your life as an outlaw, a Wolf’s Head, alongside your band of Merry Men. Forge bonds of friendship that are stronger than steel, or maybe pursue an even stronger connection? Will you romance John Little, the gentle giant? Will Scarlet, the wiley scout? The lovely and boisterous Marian, or will you sleep with the enemy and pursue the enigmatic Isabelle Du Courteray, the Sheriff’s daughter?

All tales have a beginning, so choose from one of three possible origins and start your story and grow your legend from there…

The Ways of the Bandit

As an outlaw, you must rely on the ways of the bandit to help grow your legend and define your skills.

The ways are a series of beliefs that bandits tend to follow, and each one is named after an animal that is said to embody the traits linked to it.

The Bear - You believe in brute force, presence, and intimidation to achieve your goals.
The Wolf - You believe in nimbleness and moving unseen and unheard.
The Owl - You believe in knowledge and sight being the most important of your senses.
The Fox - You believe charm and quick wit will get you through most troublesome encounters.
The Spider - You believe in patience and waiting for the right moment to act.
Way of the Boar - You believe in enduring whatever life throws at you.

These don’t refer specifically to stats in a traditional sense. It is more following The Bear is believing in brute force or intimidating someone to get your way.

Romance Options

(Maid/Lady) Marian is an honest but down-to-earth noblewoman who likes to moonlight as a servant girl. A bit of a tomboy at heart and pretty nifty with a sword. She has caught the eye of the Sheriff of Nottingham, but she isn’t interested. (Romance option)

Little John, the ex-leader of the Merry Men. He is a just man who cares deeply for his friends and his brothers—kept the Merry Men from becoming just another horrible group of bandits. Well-liked by the common folk. John is skilled with a quarterstaff (Romance option).

Will Scarlet is a talented scout and a fellow Merry Man. Shrewd and cautious, he is slow to trust but will go to the ends of the earth for those who earn it. A jealous, hot-blooded man. Skilled tracker and talented with a short sword. (Romance option)

Isabelle Du Courteray, the daughter of the Sheriff of Nottingham. She idolizes her father, and she wants to be as successful as her father is. She has come to Sherwood to help her father catch the Merry Men. She knows how to use a bow. (Romance option)

Salah, a former Saracen soldier turned slave. He is distrustful until someone has earned his respect. He knows how to use the scimitar he carries. (Romance option)

Nell, a courtesan from a distant country. She is bold and flirty, confident in herself, and unlike most of the women in her trade, she knows how to protect herself. (Romance option)

You can find Chapter One below…

You just need to pull back your first arrow

I hope you enjoy the start of this adventure.

Matthew | Pen-name: Sam Kabell

[HarrisPS]

Hey, congratulations on posting! I’ve been enjoying hearing about how progress is going. Great to see it out in the wild!

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

Thanks. It has really inspired my writing lately, so it’s been a godsend. I just hope people enjoy it as much as I did working on it

[Ronin_101]

I love playing as ruthless robin hood also will there be a reaction about the noble background and also can we kill the prince other than that I will continue watching your work with great interest

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

Yes all three origins will have their unique interactions and encounters!

[AnneWest]

Why does the material/wood of the bow keep getting mentioned? It seems unnecessary to emphasise it so.

In first confrontation I chose not to kill anyone, but Little John looks disappointed and a guard is mentioned as being dead. If this is referencing the guard that Will Scarlet killed, that needs to be made clearer, otherwise, there is something wrong with the tracking of your actions.

Saw the message that indicates a variable isn’t working on the trip into town

The currency exchange only works for silver and gold, cannot convert silver to bronze. This directly affects the trip to the market, as well as the money given to the poor.

I think that if you chose to be short, that needs to be reflected differently in the text. Right now everyone else also seems to be short.

Also, I would like the option to lie to Friar Maynard to spare his feelings. I didn’t chose the option, but it feels that telling him you lost your faith (or indicating that you never had any) will lead to him trying to get you to recover it.

In the talent and equipment page I think there should probably be some information on how many arrows you have. If you can buy arrowheads at the blacksmith’s that indicates that you can run out, but with no way to know how many arrows we have in the first place, there’s no way to tell when that will be.

Choice indicators showing what path belongs to which choice could be handy. I couldn’t always tell which correlated to what.

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

Thanks for the feedback. I’ll see what I can do. Being short should already have a few mentions but I’ll look into adding more and I’ll look into why the bronze conversion isn’t working

Edited to add a few responses to specific things;

@AnneWest

Why does the material/wood of the bow keep getting mentioned? It seems unnecessary to emphasise it so.

That is something I’ll change. I’ll code it so it only mentions that once. (I just had it set to “material bow”)

@AnneWest

In first confrontation I chose not to kill anyone, but Little John looks disappointed and a guard is mentioned as being dead. If this is referencing the guard that Will Scarlet killed, that needs to be made clearer, otherwise, there is something wrong with the tracking of your actions.

This is strange if the two guards are alive you should get the following scene;

    "They are both incapacitated," you reply, to John's approval.

    "You should have killed them," Will argues. "They are the Sheriff's men, after all."

    *goto merry_men

@AnneWest

Saw the message that indicates a variable isn’t working on the trip into town

I got this in a test myself (in my playthrough I went to town alone, was it the same for you?

@AnneWest

The currency exchange only works for silver and gold, cannot convert silver to bronze. This directly affects the trip to the market, as well as the money given to the poor.

There should be an option to do that but I’ll look into why it isn’t working as the code is there

            *if (silver > 0)
                #A silver coin for 100 bronze coins.
                    You give the merchant a silver coin and in return he gives you a pouch of one-hundred bronze coins.
                    *set silver - 1
                    *set bronze + 100
                    *gosub_scene money
                    *goto exchange

@AnneWest

Also, I would like the option to lie to Friar Maynard to spare his feelings. I didn’t chose the option, but it feels that telling him you lost your faith (or indicating that you never had any) will lead to him trying to get you to recover it.

In the talent and equipment page I think there should probably be some information on how many arrows you have. If you can buy arrowheads at the blacksmith’s that indicates that you can run out, but with no way to know how many arrows we have in the first place, there’s no way to tell when that will be.

These are both good suggestions and I’ll look into adding both. (I did plan to add an arrow count to the equipment scene I’d just not gotten round to it as I was dealing with a strange bug which ended being a silly mistake on my part!

@AnneWest

Choice indicators showing what path belongs to which choice could be handy. I couldn’t always tell which correlated to what.

By path do you mean the ways of the bandit? So like;

#Smash the lock [Way of the Bear]

[AnneWest]

@Nocturnal_Stillness

This is strange if the two guards are alive you should get the following scene;

    "They are both incapacitated," you reply, to John's approval.

    "You should have killed them," Will argues. "They are the Sheriff's men, after all."

    *goto merry_men

I got the reply from Will, but not the response to John. I shot past the horse and then knocked out the guard on the left; then shot the guard on the right in the knee. In the passage after that it mentions one guard dead and one trying to crawl off.

@Nocturnal_Stillness

this in a test myself (in my playthrough I went to town alone, was it the same for you?

I took Alan with me. I didn’t try with any of the others, though.

@Nocturnal_Stillness

There should be an option to do that but I’ll look into why it isn’t working as the code is there

It’s half working? It tells me that I’ve done it, but when I try to use the bronze it tells me that I don’t have any and when I check the inventory it still shows the unconverted silver.

@Nocturnal_Stillness

By path do you mean the ways of the bandit? So like;

#Smash the lock [Way of the Bear]

Yes. I kept doing things I thought would raise one part or another (Fox and Owl) only to get results for the Boar.

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

I think I’ve figured out the issue with the coins and that should be fixed now. Ive also added a way to track arrows. Will work on.the other issues tomorrow!

[AnneWest]

Thank you for listening!

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

Thank you for taking time to give me feedback

[Zodac01]

Off to a great start. Personally, I don’t mind your mentioning the material of the weapons from time to time, but I’m from a Sword & Sorcery background where that is popular. I am loving the whole Sherif’s daughter angle - ha, don’t remember that from the Robin stories I remember, but its a good addition to the lore either way. Not a huge deal, but the heart icon on my i-pad displays strangely, where the unfilled in one is larger than the filled in one, which I kind of wish were the other way around for emphasis, though not a big deal obviously. Also, multiple choice points per one page?!? - What now?!? Didn’t realize we can do that - life changing!
Good luck on your game. Looking forward to my Robin’s adventure continuing onwards.

[anon21994237]

I couldn’t be more thrilled you decided to go ahead with Quiver. I’ve always been obsessed with the legend of Robinhood, and I have not one doubt your spin on it will do the wide canon justice.

[batmansrobin]

I love the concept, the writing style and the game design so far my only tiny critique that you’re ofc free to discard is that I like the symbols for stats and the design you’ve gone for but I think you can do without the “way of the bear/fox/etc” thing and just be clear about what the stats are (Stealth/Intimidation/Charm/etc), much more intuitive that way, you’re more likely to remember the stat system when you come back to play the game and you can understand the stats at a glance if they’re not abstracted. And it would match the RPG vibe you have going on. Just a tiny thought!

[yelhsa]

That was a fun first chapter. I really like Friar Tuck, he’s my favourite character so far.

Though, I had an issue with killing the second guard during the present scene where it says something like: “hit the left guard” “hit the right guard” “wait”, after waiting the entire time to properly get them, and it said he was unconscious instead.

[Queen_Zelda]

Very good story, I like the characters a lot I have only one problem, I know for sure I didn’t kill the guards but in the story it says MC kills one of them.

[Shenice_L]

I paused and said hold on wait…is this the Unnatural author!? Let’s just say… I’ve never clicked a link so fast in my life.

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

I’ll look into why a guard is still showing up dead even when you spare them. The guard Will kills shouldn’t count so I’ll double check the code just in case.

@batmansrobin

I think you can do without the “way of the bear/fox/etc” thing and just be clear about what the stats are (Stealth/Intimidation/Charm/etc), much more intuitive that way, you’re more likely to remember the stat system when you come back to play the game and you can understand the stats at a glance if they’re not abstracted.

I think I need to explain the ways more. They aren’t meant to be like a strength or agility stat in the traditional way. It’s more like if you follow the way of the bear you like to rely on strength and intimidation. Originally I had the ways as a true/false variable. You won’t fail a check because of the the ways. They more influence how you do something. I’m still playing around with the ways so I might go back to true/false I’ll see how the game progresses.

Edited to add:

@Zodac01

Not a huge deal, but the heart icon on my i-pad displays strangely, where the unfilled in one is larger than the filled in one, which I kind of wish were the other way around for emphasis, though not a big deal obviously. Al

I thought this was just me. Glad it’s not I’ll see if I can find some better symbols for it

EDIT: I’ve reworking the ways of the bandit because I’ve come to the conclusion that having them increasable stats gives the wrong impression of what I was after. The demo of Chapter One will work, but be aware that by the end of today it’ll be different (and I hope more clear )

[PedestrianB]

While I’m unfortunately not very familiar with the lore of Robin Hood, this has caught my attention enough to keep an eye on it.

While reading I noticed just a few minor errors.

Small Minor Errors

Punctuation

Should be “your”

Coding/Logic

Good luck on your progress!

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

Thanks, the [ToDo] is there as I still can’t decide how much further to go but didn’t want people to miss out of Chapter One as its otherwise complete.