Welcome to the thread for my book Project_H.I.VE (name pending).
Synopsis: Your parents died when you were a baby so you have no memories of them to look back on. Your Uncle, a friend of your parents took you in. You’d lived a very secluded life being homeschooled and it doesn’t hurt that you’re rich.
Your uncle gets you enrolled into an actual school and everything seems to go well until you get kidnapped and discover you have powers and a technological being lives rent free in your mind.
After fighting alongside the city’s greatest hero, you are determined to become someone like him but the choices you make will determine the kind of hero you’ll be. Will you be a ruthless killer, a hero for justice or try to balance both.
I apologize for taking time in the writing process. I had to balance school, my mental health and writing the book. I’m a slow writer but I’m still determined to try my best. This is my first time writing a project so I would need your patience and cooperation.
I already saw this, and tried it. I like the idea of distributing the points to the respective powers, and also this whole idea. I recommend to put a description or info about the powers like. You have 100 power points, and you can put them in these three skills : speed…, mind…, and strength…
In my first try, I put 100 points in mind because I thought, it says how good you are in manipulating the other’s mind, and I am surprise to see that there is speed and strength in the following pages. How about put them together in one page. haha At least, the reader has an idea that she/he need to distribute wisely the 100 points.
With the way how it’s designed, it’s kind of redundant to pick two options just for a single action. There’s no need to pick a power each time you make a move.
The reason there are so many options is because, the MC will have a lot of abilities. I tried to design it in a way that the choices shown would correspond to the ability picked from somewhere else, but I couldn’t. If you have any idea I can do that let me know. @Szaal
In agreement with both of the above posters- it’s hard to pick powers when you don’t know what the other options are or how many there will be. And having to select a power first before deciding how to handle the fight was kind of a pain. It’s much more convenient (at least as a player) to just have a long list of options in combat. Doing it this way also makes it seem like, in-universe, you can’t use more than one per at a time, which cuts off the option for combinations. What if I wanted to dodge bullets at super speed, while darting in to throw super strength punches?
Also, I know the game itself probably won’t be the same way but from what I can tell the boundary for being effective (at least with the mind power, the one I tested) is 60. That kinda makes the power selection redundant- you either make yourself effective with one power and useless with the other two, or you accidentally make yourself useless with all three.
There are several problems here, some of them already mentioned by previous posters:
1) Powers are unclear.
You need not only develop a consistent system of superpowers, but also communicate them to players effectively.
Possible solutions: add explanations before selecting power levels; stats explanation in the stat screen; an early fight which functions as a tutorial.
2) Skill/power level needed to pass stats checks are too high and also unclear when selecting powers.
A character with 50, 30 and 20 power lewels is completely useless and makes for a frustrating game experience as a result.
Possible solutions:
a) show players which skill levels are high or low - either in the stat screen, or before the power selection;
b) ditch that binary success/fail system, introduce success/partial success/fail system, like this:
*if (mind >= 60)
You break his constitution and render him less than willing to fight.
*goto villain_surrenders
*elseif (mind >= 30)
You unleash an attack on his mind. It is not as strong as you hoped, but the villain slows down as a result.
*goto next_move
*else
Your attempt at breaking his constitution is thwarted my mental barriers which you cannot break.
*goto fail
3) Why does a player need to switch powers?
What prevents me from putting 100 points into super strength and tank my way through the game without ever switching to another power?
Possible solutions:
a) different powers are more or less useful in different situations. A villain who is too far away to attack with super strength can be reached by super speed or psychic powers. Using mind powers on someone who is far away requires mind > 60, but if you close the distance and look the target in the eyes, it’s only mind > 30 for complete success. This power is, however, completely useless against robots.
b) some skills can be useful even if corresponding superpower is currently inactive - combine them! I noticed that using mind manipulation is the only action which can hurt the villain. But that villain is currently shooting the hero, so our character has to use mind power quickly. Why doesn’t that option test for (mind+speed)?
c) previous 2 solutions create a new problem: what if the MC’s highest stat doesn’t correspond to the most useful power at the moment? You can add some low risk, low reward non-superpowered option, like taking cover before the villain depletes his available metal, stops shooting and tries to find more.
4) Why is using the power gauntlet is a separate option, instead of being an implied action?
Is there a plot justification for that? Your interest check tells us MC’s superpowers result from a drug inserted into their body - why can’t they use them without an external device? How to make that mechanic more interesting?
Possible solutions:
a) ditch that mechanic altogether;
b) the device helps to control new powers so they don’t hurt the user. As the MC learns how to use some powers on their own, they stop needing to switch them through the gauntlet, instead installing new powers and devices. You can use Mind manipulation without the gauntlet - so replace that module with a hacking device! Your super strong muscles don’t treaten to break your bones anymore - but your newfound healing ability poses a risk of developing cancer, so the gauntlet is now for health regeneration.
5) What are new fail and victory conditions, and how does success (or lack of it) impact the story long-term?
The old test sent the player to the beginning, but I removed that. The MC has to live with the consequences of their actions - how does that work?
Possible solutions:
a) introduce health bars for villains and the hero, use them to determine victory or loss;
b) set some goals for the characters, and let them completely or partially achieve those (remember success/partial success/loss system I mentioned?). For example, a villain threatens to kill the hostages. Depending on the hero’s actions, the result can be: complete success (villain arrested, hostages saved), partial success (hostages saved, but villain escapes), failure (the hero wakes up in the hospital to the sad news of dead hostages and missing villain).
c) introduce variables which affect the story later. Does the hero’s reputation rise because of successful people-saving? Other characters will treat you differently. Was the villain arrested? Then you can question him later to find out the main villain’s hideout (if not, you have to fight him in later chapter).
Additional questions:
Are the hero’s skills useful without activating the corresponding superpower? Strength and speed are self-evident, but what does high Mind Manipulation do when you aren’t invading other people’s brains?
Are there any in-universe laws about not using superpowers on civilians? What about collateral damage?
Are there any drawbacks to your powers? Physical is both strength and durability, but what about super speed? Is your MC a fragile speedster who cant run through the rain without hurting themselves? What does a super speed punch do without activating super strength? Would MC break their bones?
Hi @Kotosinica. My idea for the gadget is to quickly show the tradeoff among the powers. The story would have to explain what they are for. If you use the keyboard it’s rather responsive, and you shouldn’t need more than 7 clicks to reach any point in the triangle.
I added a shade to the triangle (based on your choice) … and a “done” button!
The power gauntlet is more or a less just a stat name and not a device but I may have to change the name.
I didn’t state what the drug was composed of but expect it’ll be something sophisticated.
Because of plot, the user will not be able to use two abilities simultaneously.
Yeah. Adding scenes where the MC can get to improve his abilities, certain actions which would also help the MC to improve his abilities will also be added.
Hey, I’m new to the thread but I’m very interested! Now, I’m not very good with game mechanics and stuff so I’m pretty much useless there. However, I am a nerd who can help in other ways! I saw that in a previous post you said that you weren’t sure how the drug worked yet, and if you still are not sure I have a suggestion. The drug could be something that holds something similar to crispr, but instead of being pre programmed to edit a certain gene once it’s designed to adapt to certain stresses the body experiences. A couple problems with this is that it’s a super complicated thing to do, and the body would metabolize the drug over time. Maybe you can have it be nano-bots instead? Small robots that have a bit of intelligence and can either make the changes themselves or make crispr on their own? I dunno, just some ideas to consider
I mean that either they function that way or produce it. I don’t have a perfect understanding of crispr, so I don’t know if it’s even possible for nano-bots to function the same. Of course, this is sci-fi so you could always break the rules a bit. Either way I’m sure it’ll be interesting!
