Hi everyone. I’m German_Saltmines and this is my first WIP in choicescript called Prisoner: People’s Justice. It currently is pretty bare bones (around 900 words per average playthrough according to randomtesting with a total of 12k w/o code) and has the character creation system already writen, though I’d really like suggestions about how to make it more organic. English isn’t my first language and I’m doing this as a hobby, so I’m not sure how common will the updates be.
The game happens in a medieval-ish/late-medieval setting, the MC starts as a prisoner who’s been captured by an army of militiamen under the command of a warlord who rose to prominence after a past event in the protagonist life spiralled into the rise of his army.
Be it as a soldier, a bandit, an important citizen or a simple peasant, you did something in the past that gave this warlord the drive, influence or resources to make his faction rise in both prominence and power.
Your captors caught wind of your presence near their lands and decided to bring you to face their own justice. It’s up to you wether you’ll respect their desires and face the consequences for your actions, escape or save their other prisoners to take revenge.
Once you do the playtest I’d like to know.
- The things you liked and didn’t like. Don’t be afraid to point out things you didn’t like as this is a WIP, things are subject to change, and I’d really like to improve my writing.
- Anything that felt jarring, out of place or just plainly dumb.
- Any grammar errors with screenshots if possible. (Especially tense issues.)
- If the are to much or to few options. I’d really like to make it with a lot of options, but I may be doing to much.
- Dialogue problems. I’m an amateur writer and, even in my native language, dialogue is my weakest point, so I’d really appreciate help on that front.
Thanks in advance.