# Poisoning the steel mind -a wip **URL:** \ **Category:** Works In Progress\ **Created:** [December 27, 2012, 12:49pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024 "2012-12-27T12:49:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 12:49pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/1 "2012-12-27T12:49:14Z")
First of all thanks to @AlexCosarca to host my demo and his help. If i have a pc probably will be almost ended but i dont have pc is coded by hand without text editors and auto test. The demo has a lot of errors but i post it with the hope some one like it and want to help to plasm in choicescript because i cant do it alone. [https://dl.dropbox.com/u/95587456/Mara%20SDK/index.html](https://dl.dropbox.com/u/95587456/Mara%20SDK/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![RoseQueenKamijo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/rosequeenkamijo/32/39220_2.png) [@RoseQueenKamijo](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/RoseQueenKamijo)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/2 "2013-01-25T21:25:02Z")
Why is the hermaphrodite automaticaly a sterile girl and then you die? Why can’t it be a choice between identifying as a male hermaphrodite and then die? Or not die at all by finding a way to escape? Discrimination against the third sex XD. It’s awesome there is finally a herm choice in one of these games though. ---
**Author:** ![Drazen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/drazen/32/748_2.png) [@Drazen](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Drazen)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 12:52pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/3 "2012-12-27T12:52:12Z")
I’m afraid English not being your native language will prove to be a terrible disadvantage in this endeavour. ---
**Author:** ![irule9344](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/irule9344/32/842_2.png) [@irule9344](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/irule9344)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 12:53pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/4 "2012-12-27T12:53:16Z")
its good the style looked nice how did u change the color of the text???/ i only know how to change the background ---
**Author:** ![irule9344](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/irule9344/32/842_2.png) [@irule9344](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/irule9344)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/5 "2012-12-27T12:54:28Z")
yeah there were some mistakes but it made sense to me. i do not care about the spelling and all in a story i just look for a story line so urs is pretty good ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/6 "2012-12-27T12:54:40Z")
Thanks @Drazen for your support? Or critic I do what i can i try to see people who yelling about no natives write a game in another lenguage also i need a editor ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/7 "2012-12-27T16:56:34Z")
Really nobody give me any feedback? Moderators please close this post X( ---
**Author:** ![Drazen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/drazen/32/748_2.png) [@Drazen](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Drazen)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/8 "2012-12-27T16:57:35Z")
Give it time. ---
**Author:** ![WilliamFiedler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/williamfiedler/32/885_2.png) [@WilliamFiedler](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/WilliamFiedler)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/9 "2012-12-27T16:57:51Z")
I like the background of the story, it is a cruel world and it seems that main character will have the option to fit in to that world or to fight against it…what is something that I really appreciate It’s hard to judge from a short demo, only the future will show how the final game will look like. Your English is a disadvantage but I think you can overcome it. If not by yourself then with help of others. ---
**Author:** ![LOR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/lor/32/803_2.png) [@LOR](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/LOR)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/10 "2012-12-27T17:03:15Z")
I agree with @ViliamFiedler Plus, futuristic worlds always seem to have an interesting catch-some sort of harsh reality or cruel secret-which is always something I like in a game or story. And what do you mean by editor, as in you want someone to go over your grammar and spelling? I wouldn’t mind helping with that, being a native English speaker myself. ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/11 "2012-12-27T17:06:12Z")
Yes @LOR an editor and maybe someone with a pc to do the autotest i habe to try error by myself all the variables ---
**Author:** ![CS\_Closet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/cs_closet/32/684_2.png) [@CS\_Closet](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/CS_Closet)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/12 "2012-12-27T17:14:48Z")
I agree that some editing by a native English speaker would do a world of good, but that aside, I absolutely love the concept! Is the game going to focus on the test to determine if we live or die, or is there more after that? Either way, it’s a very interesting civilization that you have. I look forward to exploring it more. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:34pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/13 "2012-12-27T17:34:43Z")
The demo continue before the first exam until the second when you discover your power adquire the inmortality and choose your name. The game will have 3 principal paths and very long probably 1000 years of Pangea time. ---
**Author:** ![Fujin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/fujin/32/675_2.png) [@Fujin](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Fujin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/14 "2012-12-27T17:36:49Z")
It seems pretty interesting so far I like games in futuristic settings. Also I found an error when I picked the option that I was stressed for the test. And another when I ran from the pig guy. ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/15 "2012-12-27T17:38:21Z")
Yes i got problems with fix errors i havent a pc for try and error Alex cosarca is helping me ---
**Author:** ![CS\_Closet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/cs_closet/32/684_2.png) [@CS\_Closet](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/CS_Closet)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/16 "2012-12-27T17:40:25Z")
@MaraJade Ah, I see there was more now. I just got stopped at a few errors before the test and thought that was all there was. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/17 "2012-12-27T17:46:47Z")
Alex Cosarca is helping me right now i need feedback with the polemical Female path ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/18 "2012-12-27T18:22:55Z")
Content updated and error fixed with Alex Cosarca help ---
**Author:** ![trollhunterthethird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/trollhunterthethird/32/919_2.png) [@trollhunterthethird](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/trollhunterthethird)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/19 "2013-01-01T18:43:14Z")
Great story, an editor would be best, but I’m loving so far and I always have a soft spot for Steampunk. ---
**Author:** ![MaraJade](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/marajade/32/835_2.png) [@MaraJade](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/MaraJade)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024/20 "2013-01-01T18:51:30Z")
Cyberpunk not steampunk Steampunk is a abanced tech society but based in past centuries more common Victorian age steam come from the victorian steam machine who moves that tech, My story is based in a far future so cyberpunk XD [Next page](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/poisoning-the-steel-mind-a-wip/1024.md?page=2)