Please, need beta tester right now

After change parameters in my old iPhone and drop box I could post my own game alone but please need to know if works so please try my game for charity ^:)^

I believe it is supposed to be Holopedia system solar edition.
line fourty seven “else if” invalid, use “elseif”

like before love the music<3, and its still an interesting story

i played it ;o, was that iall i was supposed to do? xD

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i shall test it

I like it but the only avatar I can pic is a white unicorn y not a incubus or at least have more choices and when in the dream I want to picj the feel liken a god thing and I can’t y not

@Blacheart there must be a problem you have to chose between a cat a unicorn and aerocar could you tell me what path you chose woman men the scientific the army the empress also when you gain your status you could change avatars or mod it like a flying black unicorn with fire etc

Well I went wit the gay not bi so that might be it

not @Blackheart sex option no influe in that :slight_smile: only if some npc try to flirt with you or for charm a foe not avatar I’m looking files can you try it now

Ok now I get more choices yay for two tailed kitty and for the bully I personally would make him my toy I mean just think about it seducing te bully an making him a lil by toy who wud do anything for u it sounds fun to me but its just an idea cause I also like making hi cry to muahhahaha

@Blackheart if you don’t kill the bully you could see him soon but maybe this time will be him who make you cry but he will be as stupid as ever :-)) so you like the game so far? you think is to strong for the theme to gore also you try the female path you see it too strong?

I haven’t tried female path since I have a obvious defect for a woman but I will try and so far not too strong just right I like it a lot and can’t wait for more choices that I can play with people lolz

also @Blackheart you know that apart wolf path there is another two In function what do you choice in the test stressed gambler and exciting there is a politic way and armi and the scientific you play you still a lot more demo to play and with fate rolls every time could be different so try different rimes to different outcomes

thanks for help I go to fix it!
edit strangely I can’t found the problem I don’t have any elseif commando in holopedia :-((

3rd planet not 3th

system* not sistem

do you have a spell check?

To be honest, It was hard to enjoy. Everyone has said they like it but the biggest thing your story needs is grammar… If you’re reader can’t flow through sentences fluidly it’s hard to paint a mental picture of what is happening. Cloudian had a good idea of spell check which would help ALOT but sentence structure is more important in my opinion…

I also felt it was too early for a “beta test”. You need more content to snag the readers attention…

I DID like the idea of the story from what I gathered of it, it just needed more options in Some areas…

The most interesting part of the game was the layout. Very interesting use of fonts and colors.

I hope this helps

@HCJBravo369 I appreciate the feedback but the real reason I’m doing this is to improving my English skills so the fluently don’t come easy when you hardly domines the language you struggle with. About spellcheck destroy the code so no really used for me and this never was writing for a commercial idea.

The game will be edited for a native when I was finish the intro and about the options what type of them do you want? I got already 3 different paths militar political and scientific with different story line for genders this is not a complete game is only the prologue so you got really more options when the game begins.

A glad you like something sadly, was only the layout :-)) I hope in two or three months you could read the story and enjoy it

@Cloudian thanks for the grammar reference patience with me ok is like you trying to write in Chinese only with a dictionary :frowning:

Also @moderators please close this I really know already the link works and I have got a discussion from my Wip so this is becoming a double post.

Was going to help but the link isn’t working I know a little Japanese a little English and Spanish