Please beta-test my game "Haunted house on the hill"

Good day all

I need some beta-testers for my first game. The game is 100% complete so I am now preparing to submit it to HG.

Feedback can be sent to shaunjooste86@gmail.com

The mail address is on the dashingdon.com page as well.

Game description

In this horror adventure game, you play the role of James, a teenage boy, who along with his friends have decided to give the haunted house on the hill a visit. Rumors of people disappearing or going insane has made you curious. No one knows where you are. Will you succumb to the spirits in the house… or will you survive the night with your mind intact?

It is an adventure/horror game which is gender locked. The link to play the game is below.

Thanks

Haunted house on the hill

21 Likes

How long is the game and what’s the average playthrough word count?

Edit: Just read it and looked through the code, let me know if it’s ok to write feedback here in the thread, it’s way easier for me and it might encourage others chime in (rather than sending an email).

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Some typos I found:

Billy doesn’t look to enthusiastic but continues anyway.

He ends with a smile and a wink

(missing full stop at the end)

"so, this is the living room as we can see from the sofas, coffee table and the fireplace.

You don’t want to stick around too long; there’s still a lot to see.

page_break

Yeah right, you hear Johnny say. Trying to be the prankster hey? Well, I am the funny one, Roy is the brainiac, Billy is the muscle and you,,,

commas instead of full stops at the end

"We can only hope for the best I guess… or not the best… I don’t even know what the best will be." you say.

full stop instead of comma

“You are going to be one big cliché when you are older,” you say to johnny with a smile on your face.

What kind of feedback do you want specfically, other than typos and bug reports? For example are you looking for feedback on the contents of the story, parts of the gameplay that were enjoyable, or maybe your writing style?

Also, since it’s a horror story it would be a good idea to include a trigger/content warning so people know what to expect.

2 Likes

My apologies for the late reply guys.

It is a game of little more than 42000 words and should be playable over 40 to 50 minutes depending on reading speed and whether you skip the history or not.

Comments are welcome here as well, didn’t mean to limit anyone who might want to provide feedback.

Feedback regarding typos, story content and development, and anything you might want to say will be welcomed. I understand all comments are constructive and will take it as such.

This is my first attempt, so I see anything as a learning opportunity.

Regarding content in the game, there are a few graphic descriptions of events that took place, so some of the scenes might be a bit upsetting to some readers.

No strong language is used, there are no sexual content and no nudity, just the description of some violent scenes but not an extreme extent.

Also, any tips on cleaning up coding for future games will be welcomed.

Thanks in advance, I will pop in a bit more to reply on comments.

Much appreciated.

JP Smith

2 Likes

I’ll try my best to remember what I played a few ago.

I don’t know how familiar you are with the kind of IF people enjoy on HOG and COG, but if I’m to make a summary people generally want 4 things: MC customization (gender, appearance, orientation), the possibility to form strong relationships with other characters (most of the time it’s romance but not necessarily), a well-written story (good grammar, rich vocabulary, compelling descriptions, etc) and impactful choices. I will give you feedback on each of these 4 “pillars”

MC customization

The main character is fixed (name, gender, and appearance), but it does not have to be. Your character being a boy has no influence on the story whatsoever. If you give the player the choice to choose their gender and appearance, you will attract a much larger audience (especially if you have no real reason to restrict these attributes).

You also have a good opportunity to execute this at the start of the game when everyone is talking to the camera and presenting themselves.

Relationships to other characters

This kind of game is too short for romance imo, but you could add some more meaningful interactions with the other characters, as it stands now, the only somewhat binding experience is when your friend saves you at the end . Also, you could gender flip one of the friends to be a girl, so you have a more balanced roster of characters, this would also help attract more female readers.

If I think about it, you might add some romance scenes if you want by splitting the group and having separate scenes with them, but it’s ultimately up to you if you think it’s in line with your vision.

Prose

I came across a lot of spelling and grammar errors which are easily corrected using a plugin, I recommend Grammarly for this. For the writing in general, it’s ok, but it could use improving (I appologise as I don’t have any specific examples in mind).

The stats are also formatted strangely in the stats screen and I don’t think that your friend’s hair colors are relevant in the context of the game. It would be better to describe their personalities there, I think.

Choices

Realistically, the game has only one end, the others are just premature exits, which are not very fun (you just leave the house and nothing happens). At the start of the game, I remember there being a strange choice to “skip the history”. You are signaling to me as a reader that this part if not important. If it’s not important, why add it there? Even after reading it, the information from that section is repeated when inside the house.

There is also a point where you can “Warp in time” to read the diary, I don’t think you need to phrase it that way, you can simply just have the player go to the room if they missed that part in the earlier play-through.

And when the ghost comes, all choices have the same outcome, with the ghost poking your friend with the hook under the stairs. And in the final encounter, what you read in the diary has no bearing on the outcome, the player has no agency in that encounter, it’s always the friend saving the day.

I would recommend diversifying the outcomes and giving more agency to the player and eventually having more endings.

6 Likes

It felt very much like a book and not much of a game. While it was interesting and the backstory was interesting it felt like I wasn’t actually “playing”

@quartz explained it very well and I’d have to agree.

1 Like

Really appreciate the honest feedback. I will go back and make a few changes as I definitely want people to play and enjoy it.

Thanks a mil and I will look at your summary a lot when I make changes to the game.

Kind regards

JP Smith

3 Likes