Phasma-WIP (09/29/17)

Thanks.
I’ll try my best.

1 Like

No problem I did notice something I’m not sure if it was intentional but one of the little play throughs I did I played as a female character and at one point they started calling my character a he :smile:

1 Like

Do you remember at what part that happened?

1 Like

It’s 2 pages after the page that says a dream less night

1 Like

Thanks a lot!
I’ll change it as soon as possible.

1 Like

No problem I’m happy to help :smiley:

1 Like

1 Like

Thanks.
I’ll be sure to correct it.

No problem buddy Btw nice story

1 Like

Thanks.
:grin::grin:

Love the game and glade its back. I got depressed when it was closed. There are never enough games that let you be something more than human.

1 Like

Glad you enjoyed it.
I hope I improve my story even more.

Looks good so far cant wait to get the part where the character goes into demon form keep up the good work :smiley:

1 Like

Thanks.
I’ll try my best.
:grinning:

No problem I really do think you have a good concept so far :smiley:

1 Like

So, i know Marie was introduced as a sister first, then a protector, (and i know it’d be weird if some MC really treated her as a sister) but can she be a RO? It’d be nice if she became one.

2 Likes

I’m considering for future chapters, but nothing is guaranteed yet.

I noticed a grammer problem when reading;

Seriously, that numbskull of a sister is really annoying.
Finally, I just wanted to check my hair out in the mirror. As you walk towards the mirror, you see the reflection of a:

Now i don’t know if it is the MC say this to herself, if it is, finally is not correct for this phrase. Maybe try somthing like God, I just wanted to check my hair

If it is not meant to be inner monologue then I is not appropriate as the story is told in second person.

1 Like

Thanks.
I’ll be sure to change it. I’ll probably do something similar to what you suggested.

“You’d need to be the stupidest person alive not to notice.” you respond After a short pause, you both start to laugh uncontrollably.

no cap

1 Like