Phasma-WIP (09/29/17)

I keep running into an error when I try to put in a custom name

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Thanks for notifying me, it should be fixed now.

When asking questions about the faceless and demon hunters, you just get a never ending loop

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Thanks for telling me.
I Just fixed it, so there shouldn’t be any more problems.

Thanks for the comment.
I’ll try to fix everything before continuing.
I’ve fixed the faceless and demon hunter loop, I’ve also made a temporary fix to the president thing but I plan on expanding that on the future.

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I notice you are having a problem with errors. There is a simple fix for that. Make sure everything is the current version. Then go to the first tab of the dfabulich folder you keep it in and look for quicktest. That will hunt down any of the mundane errors that you have. Just keep doing that until you no longer get any errors and upload it as you wish whether it be an HTML or file by file.
Hope that helps.

Also if you want to make sure you get the genders right, just use this guide heeerrreeee… A Basic Tutorial on Name, Relationship and Gender Variables

or for general CS knowledge this wonderful all around one by R.E Towers

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Thanks for the tip.
I just checked it out and it really helped me, so I’m really grateful.

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Hi game sounds great but on the very first opening I found a spelling problem “Get your ass down here or I’ll it it all !!” The first it should be eat it I believe.

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Yes it should.
Thanks for showing it to me.
I’ll try to fix all the spelling errors as soon as possible

Sorry in advance I don’t want to sound to critical but i feel this has to be said.

Ok, so I have played both versions and while i enjoyed them both I found your second version to be lacking. The writing felt a bit more simplistic and rushed. I would say you need to be more descriptive in the writing and try not to repeat the same words to frequently.

For instance the opening of the second version

“Hey dipshit, get up, breakfast is ready !!” a girls’ voice says.
“Just a minute” you respond to this annoying voice.
“Get your ass down here or I’ll it it all !!”
“I said give me a minute !!” You say annoyed.
"Get down here…

While this is ok for a rough draft to get you ideas out there, there is very little detail as to what is happening; which for me at least throws off the reader.

My suggestion would be something like this.

"Hey dipshit, get up, breakfast is ready!!" a girl’s voice called out from downstairs.
"Just a minute!" you respond, trying desperately not to sound annoyed.
**“You better get your ass down here, or I can’t guaranty it will be here when you arrive!!” **
"I said give me a minute!!" You shouted back, not really the mood for this morning banter.
"Get down here now,…

Not to big of a change from the original, but you can see the little flavor add to spice up the text.

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Thanks for the comment.
I hope to expand the introduction to be somewhat decent at the very least.
Your comment has given me some useful insight, so I’ll try to be more descriptive and repeat less words (apart from fixing any spelling mistakes that I find).

Loved what I read. Good job so far. Interested to see where this goes.

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I hope to make something good.

So are their going to be famous demons such as Lucifer, Beezelbub and the Leviathan included in the story?

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I really like your concept and all, but…

-Spelling, grammar, and spacing needs improvement

-Barons and Nobles are literally the same thing,
best you use Nobles and Soldiers.

-Whats with a error thing at the end?

I’m probably sounding a bit like an a-hole repeating what you’ve already heard, but I feel that you really do need to rectify these problems ASAP.

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Thanks for commenting.
I’ll try to fix grammatical and spelling mistakes before doing anything else.
The demon hierarchy part is not final, I plan on changing it in the future.
And the error you found at the end is there because of there’s the command that should take you to the next chapter (I haven’t even started the first chapter so I guess I’ll remove it for the moment).

Yeah, I plan on including them in one way or another.


Please do not post in WiPs that have not been active recently. If the author would like this reopened, PM me or one of the moderators and we’ll be happy to.

Great story so far can wait for next update :smiley:

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