Holy shit that was FAST, incredible work
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Thanks! I really donāt know how I managed to find the time to pull this together over January, but Iām really glad I did.
Hopefully people are enjoying it.
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Can only start guessing on who The Revenant is, will think for now that itās the title for our new Professor
All in, had a lot of fun with this chapter! I wonder if a choice of specializing in one Mystery (or try to appear to do so) or showing off more than one would affect the plot outside of your characterās reputation.
Next chapter sounds like it will go all-in on Magic, so will have to wait and see how that will play out.
I also am still wondering about Alice, weirdly enough I feel like she also has some eldritch horror on her shoulder, though I donāt have any proof for that.
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Thanks for the comment - really glad you enjoyed it!
Your public / initial Mastery choice will absolutely matter; without going into spoilery details, as people expect a mage to be capable of one kind of magic, most people will think that they know what each student at Hightower is capable of once theyāve awakened to a magic. That can be a helpful surprise to have up your sleeve in a fight, or when schemingā¦
Itās probably fair to say that Alice has some baggage of some sort! Witches are pretty heavily reviled in Hightower - along with you, Finlay and Silas sheās probably top four in terms of the most high-profile first years at Hightower.
Whoever they are, they sound like a nice dude!
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I was very excited for this update, and it certainly didnāt disappoint! Experiencing the more āmundaneā bits of Hightower as a setting really start to make it feel more alive. The cast is really starting to flesh-out as well and Iām liking what I see quite a bit.
Also, my PC heard āeternal lifeā and immediately jumped on that. May have locked-in Life as my starting Mastery right there.
Spoilers for the end of chapter 2: The first real Patron meeting was fascinating. Three questions definitely wasnāt enough, and I have more questions coming out of it. The Revenant didnāt come entirely out of nowhere, as I recall someone mentioning it off-hand before. But that itās important to our fate and the āEnd of Historyā? The Patron being tied-up in open religious symbolism on the campus? All very, very curious.
Minor bug I stumbled on: the special dialogue for Motivation: learn magic donāt trigger in chapter 1, because theyāre looking for motive = āchance to learn magic**.**ā with a period instead of motive = āchance to learn magicā without one. They do work in chapter 2, though.
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Okay, to start? What a wonderful thing youāve put out into the world. I can never have enough of a dark academia magical school setting. And I mean, never. Then you go ahead and add a twist to it? Call yourself the Entity the way Iām willing to do anything for you now.
The pacing has felt great to me so far, not being bogged down in any place or too rushed. I personally would have enjoyed more romance stuff but that can be forgiven considering how early on it still is. The world and setting proved very immersive, especially the Entityās domain. Love me a good olā slice of some unfathomable cosmic horror in a mixture with the most believable depiction of found family I can recall off the top of my head right now. It felt very real and alive with the mundane things like the talks as a group in the common room, ugh my heart. But more than that, it was simultaneously extraordinary enough to make me feel really attached to the group. Attending an optional lecture as a group? Earth-shattering. I would never attend an optional lecture for anyone (maybe if it was a magical school though hahaha).
But yes, amazing work with the characters. They all possess a life of their own making them feel truly animated and I always a believe the story is nothing without the characters to back it up. I already want to be best friends forever with my girls and of course whatās a little family without that one couple within the group? Marcus I am looking at you and your attempts at nonchalance which are all very endearing. I especially loved his tendency to be thoughtful as well as nerd out by explaining things to the MC after taking one glance at us without us even having to voice any of those questions. What can I say? I adore an attentive man more than anything. Laylaās Brits comment about the Library of Alexandria made me chuckle. You tell emā girl! And of course, the Entity had my heart as soon as it approved of me testing the limits of the creativity that it allowed us when it came to its instructions.
I also loved Julian! He made me smile at every opportunity possible and heās cool too! Being described as the scariest bastard by the Duelling Club but also seeing that he approaches you at the dance if no one else does? I am positively swooning and also might be falling in love which he would be very smug about, the little shit.
Then thereās the insane sizzle and chemistry between Silas and MC. Prime rivals to lovers material. He was even making my 70+ Rationality MC want to be so incredibly petty towards him. Like of course I wanna rile him up, he makes it too easy! I just enjoyed being competent in this game in general. Julianās comment of Hawthorne liking a winner especially when itās against a Devereux? Holy validation. I could read that āExceptional work.ā line all day. That moment when explaining yourself calmly and sticking to just the facts already paints you in the best light because of how awesome you were, no embellishments required.
Some misc. thoughts I had: That feral smile option was amazing and I loved its presence in the narrative because of the whole āI know something you donātā vibe it radiated. Furthermore I liked how the game sort of accommodated my change from secrecy to daring as the MC gets more and more information and begins to fit into the world somewhat and get an understanding of what they are dealing with which naturally makes them gradually more comfortable. The lore was also very fun to learn and was delivered very naturally so as not to feel overwhelming. Maybe this is a little bit of a reach but after that conversation with the Entity, Iām just wondering how many of the sorcerer kings didnāt just have pacts of their own to achieve all the masteries too. Like I would love to know the precedent of this Pactbinder business. Let me ask more than 3 questions damn it!
Anyways great game, wonderful game, I love it. Since this is long enough already, typos and other errors below!
Look here!
So first off, I think that the Ellie conversation reads a little bit weird if you didnāt go on that shopping trip and then talk to her about it. Because we donāt even know too much of the matter with the mannequins in that situation and she just jumps into it without much context, so I think some rephrasing could be done there. That scene needs more acknowledgment that the MC wasnāt present perhaps. I also believe this is because it just loops to the same text but maybe it would benefit from a few additional lines added to it based on if you went to that trip or stayed back.
Iād also ask what your recommendation is for how many stats to focus on overall? My gut instinct was 2, one combat based and one otherwise but with the opportunity to be able to increase all the stats if you had enough money, I was wondering if I actually should since it only increases it by 2 and two of my stats were sitting prettily at their starting values so Iām not sure if increasing it by two would do much for them.
Here, I think you meant to write suit for the last option within the choice itself.
Double earned here.
Italics thing here.
Stray even before ācould evenā here.
Code wanted to do a face reveal here.
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Thanks so much for the feedback! I really, really appreciate you taking the time out to discuss your experience and point out bugs, itās incredibly helpful.
Really glad to hear this. Striking the balance between hooking you guys with Interesting Things happening without making the pacing feel unnaturally aggressive or relying on expo dumping has been a big focus for me in these early chapters.
I knew thereād be a subset of people whoād be super excited for the longevity tease -I know because Iām one of them. I think itās a really fun theme / question that kinda cuts at the intersection of classic magical fantasy (magic to live forever) and the more esoteric themes of immortality, beauty, history that Dark Academia loves.
Iām so glad that this was your vibe - this was exactly what I was going for. I wanted it to really feel like our Pactbinder was being handed the keys to the kingdom whilst also being reminded of just how much the Entity is actually capable of giving us beyond what we already have. Simultaneously, I think itās just a fun character building opportunity - given such an open-ended gift, what does each playerās Pactbinder truly care to prioritize?
Excellent catch.
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Thanks so much for this, you have no idea how lovely it was waking up to read this message this morning. Iām so glad that youāre enjoying the story so far and that some of the things Iāve been trying to focus on (pacing, immersion, speed at which lore is delivered, the overall balance between found family, compromise and horror-lite) are gelling well.
I kept going back on forth whether I wanted to sprinkle in more romance! I ultimately decided that I wanted to err on the side of caution for the sake of pacing, since the cast has only known each other a week by the end of C2, but I think it will be easier to do this going forwards now that weāre in term time.
I loved reading all your vibes on all of the characters a lot - thanks so much. I completely agree that the cast for stories like this is ridiculously important, Iām really glad they seem to be working for you so far.
Good question to be asking, and Iām really glad the three question limit left you wanting more, too!
Thanks so much for the feedback - incredibly helpful.
Summary
- Iāll have a re-read of the Ellie conversation but I think what youāre saying makes sense. I think I can probably make that flow better for people who stayed home without having to overhaul it massively.
- Great question on stats. Two stats was the instinct that I thought most people would have, and I try to balance the game assuming that most people have two good stats and two weak stats. That said, I want to have some fun tidbits in there throughout for jack of all trades (for example, you might notice that there are checks even in late chapter 2 where you only need greater than 10 in a stat). I was probably a bit too generous with the stipend seeing as itās fairly easy to get four or more purchases, but holding some money in reserve will also be useful in C3 and Iād rather be too generous early on than punish people who got in trouble with Hawthorne too hard.
- Thanks so much for all the bug catches!!
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This is what I figured! So I opted to have my cake and eat it too by using the money on 3 (12 Might, donāt fail me now!) and hold the last bit in reserve.
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Ouh, halfway through the chapter when updated.
Also, Lizbet my beloved.
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Argh, sorry about that!
Was doing a quick typo sweep up, but Iāll be leaving the game alone for a day or so now whilst I await more feedback so hopefully safe to go from here.
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Ha, Itās all good. Gives me a chance to make a proper chapter start save to check some other options anyhow.
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Alright, had time to read through and think on it for a bit now. Great update. Still looking forward most to when we start learning magic (My lust for power is overwhelming) but the protagonist is refreshingly capable and competent even without it given that you can handle the Situation in this chapter entirely solo.
May have gimped myself out of a few extra stat points given that I prefer to piss off Hawthorne and farm aura by brushing it off, but I could always just break even by trying to help Layla on replays. Also, didnāt realize Eleanor seems to develop a crush on the player until I replayed and noticed her reactions being different when I ditched her to question Marcus instead.
Given that my MC is an ambitious murderer with a contract with an otherworldly entity, I guess Iām the red flag RO for her. Very funny, that. Curious to see what will come from that dynamic.
Also Lizbet still best girl.
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Yay
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Thanks for feeding back - really glad to hear you enjoyed it.
Proper magic lessons will begin from next chapter, so thatās something to look forward to! My hope is that the two chapters that are out (and kind of C3 given the magic will be so introductory / class-based) serve to build the playerās anticipation / eagerness to learn magic properly - one of the reasons I wanted to include a couple of meaty pre-magic challenges (Boats + potentially Silas fight in C1, the Situation in C2) was to make the player feel that absence (especially juxtaposed against some of the stuff we saw other characters do) to make the acquiring of magic feel sweeter, whilst still making it clear the Pactbinder can be capable and have agency without having that power yet.
Ah yeah Iām glad that came through on a compare / contrast playthrough! Sounds like I struck the right line of subtle enough to not be super overly blatant but still overt enough to be easily recognizable. And yup, the Pactbinder really can be a bit of a red flag parade, canāt they?
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Have you thought about bringing in character povs?
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Thanks for the question, itās an interesting one. I think that if I were to introduce character POVs in the story itself it would be in an opt-in diegetic way (i.e. the Pactbinder themselves having a way to see events from somebody elseās perspective) - I find POV stuff really interesting but I think one of the strong points of my writing style for Pactbinder is the immersive feeling and the fact that we experience the world, its secrets and its people at the same time as the MC, so if we had a chance to see something ingame I would want the Pactbinder to see it too, if that makes sense. I already have something in mind for how this might work narratively if I did go down that route.
Alternatively / additionally I might do POV writing outside of the game itself at some point, but Iād want that to be later on once we know the characters better, since I donāt want to be tripping over myself with spoilers.
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Alright
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Iāll just dump in what I thought about Chapter 2 over here(ā¦act as if I havenāt been obsessively stalking your Tumblr blog) Firstly, as a dedicated Marcus romancer, you can be sure that it takes a HUGE amount of swaying for Silas to catch my attention. And this is coming from someone who happily had sucker punched Silas at first glance. But not to worry Marcus Cult, (? is anyone here or am I the only one) I still successfully went after Marcus anyway, after shaking Silas off. I thoroughly enjoyed Julian too, and honestly, the fact that he was one of the best duellists and he dances with us if no one approaches usā¦
Hi. Iām in your walls. Please make Silas and Julian ROs. Please please please please
But other than that, I LOVED the reunion with our patron! It really leaves me with so many questions. And the matriculation ceremonyā¦my Pactbinder refused money at all costs and the looks everyone gave herā¦just you wait when I become rich, everyone! Iām going to study my ass off out of spite. Very scrumptious, Iām excited to read more.
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Hey hey, thanks for reading through and glad youāre still enjoying things!
Iām still toying with the idea of a sixth RO, though Iām leaning against it for now. I am worried about scope creep (for a story like this I think 5 ROs is already a lot), plus there are structural / narrative reasons I decided the 5 Antioch students should be the ROs, which will become clearer over time.
Mild spoiler for a potential exception: I have been tempted to add a sort-of fling with Julian, admittedly, as I think that might be easier to integrate elegantly into the story, but I think it would have much less content than the other ROs so Iām of two minds as to whether it would be appealing to people in reality.
Oooh, I love hearing about how people decided to deal with a challenge in the story - I really enjoyed thinking of the different attitudes a Pactbinder could take to their challenging early financial situation (itās fine, Iāll borrow from my rich friends vs Iāll borrow the bare minimum to get by vs I will not borrow a scrap of clothing nor a dime).
Also - very small content update to C2 to flag, all:
- Added some more customization to a scene with Eleanor after she returns from shopping, to better react to MCs who didnāt go shopping with her. Credit to @amie for mentioning this might be helpful!
- Reworded an option after the Alice / Adelais murder accusation, to make it clear that the MC feigning horror was a conscious attempt to deceive, not them being sarcastic. Credit to an anon from tumblr for mentioning this was a bit confusing!
- A couple of other misc bug / typo fixes, credit again to amie!
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