Overslept (WORKING TITLE) (WIP)

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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Hello, everyone! This is my first attempt in writing and specifically, writing an interactive novel. This story has been on my mind since I was in 3rd year high school. I was actually planning on making it a graphic novel, but I still suck at drawing, so I gave this a try.

Now this is the summary to the said story:
You were in a car crash in the year 2022. Upon waking up, you discovered that you have been asleep for 1000 years. Now it is year 3022. And you’ve woken up just in time for revolution. Will you participate in it? Be against it? or Ignore it and let fate(your choices) decide? How will you cope up in the future?

(I honestly, suck at these hahahahahha)

My plan for this story is that you can have a good and bad endings on each ROs, but you can have Good and Bad endings w/out the ROs-if you plan to go to the single route (PS: just because it’s a bad ending doesn’t mean…it’s bad) The inspiration came from Mystic Messengers and other games. Also, I might also add a true ending. So, basically 3 endings for each ROs, 3 endings for each major problem outcomes and other 3 endings.

The ROs I’ve planned is 7 (It might change, because the story is big)
-An AI, who seems to know a great deal about you warning:you may or may not be uncomfortable around them cuz spoilers
-A billionaire, who couldn’t stand to be around you. Might bite, if provoked.
-A detective AI, it’s one of the newest model of this century. Their opinion about you depends on where your choices lie Huge fluff
-A runaway, you might meet them early on… angst
And the other 3. (Still molding them, cause the above ROs were the originals)

BE AWARE that It may have some grammatical errors (English ain’t my mama tongue) and I’m still working on the relationship stat,so it isn’t working.

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/play/untoldpringle/overslept-/mygame/

Note:
I appreciate some feedbacks(negative or positive), and other suggestion. You may insult the story, if you want

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I am intrigued for more.

How does the significant other play into the story?

Edit:

I also agree with Markel1970A

You should make the demo longer before posting,to have people get a better grip on the story you are trying to tell.

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This isn’t a demo. This is a booklet. Two choices and then you’re done?! And they don’t have anything to do with your MC’s personality?
I would make it more like you fight to stay awake = a more stubborn personality and “You can’t stop your eyes from closing”= a more passive personality.

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I didn’t see any stat changes from the choices but kudos on adding a husband/wife from the start, and this is not at the length you want to show people yet, I know it can be tempting to start getting feedback but if the demo is overall too short you won’t be able to receive any bro.

I’d also like to suggest an option not to have a spouse because there are plenty of players who are asexual or just don’t like romance.

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Interesting premise but pretty short. Would love to see where this goes. Also calling it now one of the RO’s is the AI version of your spouse.

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Oh my god, We almost have the same plot with the thing I’m working on right now. :grin:

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Okay, after reading your summary and playing the ‘demo’ I have some thoughts. Like above replies, this demo is too short to get people interested enough. I recommend taking it down and working on it further so any negative reviews this early don’t discourage you.

As for the premise, you mentioned a revolution in the future? Given the demo and ROs I assume this is a robot revolution of some kind. The cleaner robot mentioned ‘higher robots’. Speaking of, when writing robots it is best to remain consistent. For example a robot with a simple AI like the cleaner would not have the desire to sing happy birthday to itself.

Anyway this is interesting and I look forward to learning more about it. But at this stage there is nothing else I can say.

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Ooh. I guess by ‘overslept’ the mc (died?) slept until he woke up in the future? Looking forward to the rest of the story

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Wasn’t interested as first but… you got me at AI.
635

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Well I would comment on the demo but I’ve been beaten to it, so I’ll add that it would be nice to get a list of the ROs, since that seems to be a big part of this wip

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@Red_Eyes @Markel1970A @Tevin @erconn @Jay_Tarrant @Illusiveacorn54 @Umbreonpanda @L0G1C
So sorry that it’s so short. I was so excited that night.

It actually had 5 choices that will affect MC’s personality but then I deleted it, cause It got so cheesy for me . I’ll add more later on, thank you for your suggestion. :smiley:

An intellect. <3

It’s amazing how brains work, no? Would love to read it :slight_smile:

Originally…All the ROs were guys, cause I was a hormonal teen. I’ll put in a lot more detail about the ROs next update. Thank you for reading it.

More choices will be on Chapter 1

  • How you treated your spouse
  • Relationship w/ spouse
  • Your reaction on why you’re alive and how you treat others
  • The Customization of your MC
  • and others
    and sorry for only replying now (and for the short demo) :smiley:
    And i’m still playing with the stats and I’m still figuring out how to hide your rel. stat w/ others, and they will just pop up if you finally meet them
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They needed to be there for u, sorry. BUT in Chapter 1 I’ll let you guys choose if your relationship w/ them is just for show, platonic, love, comfort, and etc. Thank you for reading it and for your suggestion. :grin:

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Yes :lying_face: ehe he he

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I’d like to think that it was programmed to do so, but I might again edit it since I updated it so early haha sorry . Thank you for reading it. :DDDDDDD

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Well that is fine, but it has a one-dimensional personality it seems. Cleaning is it’s purpose, anything else seems to be irrelevant. It just depends how much of a focus actual AI has in the story.

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Well that sounds like a fun time. I look forward to reading how that works out.

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You had me at Mystic Messenger. XD
As for the demo, I noticed that one of your stats is Good/Bad ending. This is just my opinion, but I feel like it would be better to make it hidden, so the reader wouldn’t know which ending they’re heading towards. Will keep them on their toes. :wink:

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