Outsiders (WIP with demo)


#145

French Aunty Panther…

Make a Mara path… yes, I think it would be fun. Mix her Ghandi Mara with her Mara from the Greek Gods story :wink:


#146

Detestable??? No no no… Do you think Mara is detestable? No, evil charming ambitious characters. Not nasty characters. She is currently in angey mode thinking how destroyed the agents some day and rule the world . She didn’t care about mom dad or whatever. She never cares. So she is not sad or depressed


#147

Ah, forgive me for my French, I lacked the right word :stuck_out_tongue:

Of course not, who could ever hate you? Puppy eyes

So, evil, charming and ambitious. Ah, I think I already guessed you didn’t care for the characters’ family in games :wink: So I understand your frustration (is that the right word this time?).

A “I never cared for her” option would fit, then? Abby will probably think that’s a little harsh.


#148

French Panther?

I’ve played a little bit so far. I think there’s a decent foundation there, but it’s not particularly interactive, or at least not the section I’ve read. Also a lot of jumping six years earlier tends to disorientate me.

I’d say provide four gender neutral first names if possible, and then a set your own name choice.

She then tears the card in pieces, and puts it into the kitchen’s bin, while you watch with disappointed eyes.

You could probably give us a chance to react to that, since it’s at the bottom of the page. Let us be upset, or disappointed, or angry.

Also let us have the choice of whether we want to take the card or not. The choices we’ve had so far are not that significant, what tv show we watch doesn’t really matter or seem to serve much of a purpose.

I’d also say rather than having

Be friendly
Be cold

as choices, let us pick what we say, or do or act?

But, I wouldn’t say go back and edit things. Push onwards with the story for now. Get everything finished, then you can go back and alter things later and make them more interactive.


#149

A role-playing scene With Mara to helping you to understand her mind. Abby trying to helping me with my feelings…
MARA thinking "Sad I had to break my phone. I was about to evolved magikarp to Gyrados … The neon girl is looking at my with weird eyes … She is trying to bang me?.. No she looks like constipated with that raisin face…
ABBY I am sorry for you lost I just can’t imagine how terrible was…
MARA don’t worry Abby soon I will have same Pokemons I had lost lol.
ABBY Pokemon? I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR MOTHER DEATH…
MARA AH thanks for the congratulations! BUFF I wish it happened sooner. Do you have any oven I could bake a cake to celebrate it!!


#150

We don’t know if she’s dead or not. We’ll learn later she died. And… that we are blamed for her death. At least, that’s the idea.
Maybe add an option to choose why you feel this way towards her, later.

Good idea with the Pokemons :stuck_out_tongue:

@FairyGodfeather True, I was more focused on the fact that it was a flashback, so already “set in stone”, forgetting there could be more choices.
I should at least edit Abby’s scenes, to implement the changes more smoothly. And yes, change it so you can pick what will be said. (@Nathan_Faxon I will probably need your help on this one, later.)

Is “get everything finished” the not-so-subtle synonym of “Stop procrastinating and do more writing!”? :grin:

I’ll note everything on the special file I got on Scrivener, so I can keep track of the things I should change.

Edit: A certain Pigeon will be cooked for dinner tonight, as soon as I’m done laughing :joy:


#151

While the specifics of what actually happens might be set in stone, how we react to it doesn’t need to be. There’s ways of writing set paths while still preserving the illusion of choice.

And I’d say your reactions do matter. Deciding whether you’ve a good relationship with your mother, or dislike her, should matter far more than what you’re watching on tv. If you joyfully take the card, or if you’re wary of it and do so reluctantly. If you’re pleased your mother tears it up, or disappointed.


#152

@FairyGodfeather is spot on… a recollection happening is set in stone but the particular way each of us remember it can be different… I mean do you really want to remember my recollection?


#153

That’s right.

But that’s how we planned the prologue at first. The mother was more a secondary priority at the time, and I think it shows in the prologue. I’ll try to write it differently, then, and add more choices. But, I should continue writing, move the story forward for now :slight_smile:


#154

Now you look like Parisien Kitty. Lol


#155

Shhhh don’t give our Modfeather more ideas! :stuck_out_tongue:


#156

But french panter is a great name and cute


#157

Well unless you intend to make (previous) heterosexual relationships canon for the mc in your history, I’d be fine with it either way.

That always happens, regardless of the character I play, unless the story is very badly written of course.

I thought that Outsiders in the game-world are never allowed to be in a position of real power, unless this is somehow a hint at the potential course the Outsider rebellion may take of course. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#158

Someone decided their cat wasn’t French enough.

So Purple Parisian Panther it is!

Yes continue writing! Onward! Don’t go back yet.


#159

Don’t worry, I didn’t intend to assume anything about previous relationships. Maybe in a later choice :wink:

Ah well, you’ll have to see :wink: And now you made me want to write again :smiley:

The first company that will be written is OutZone Entertainment. I’m currently looking for a way to make the Arena fights as enjoyable and various as possible. And a way to make the use of power not too overpowered nor boring after a while. I’d welcome suggestions on it.

Arg. I can’t wait to show you all what we’ve planned!


#160

I don’t like typical powers I love mental illussion powers. The normal Over power stuff usually became boring. Also I hope could finally achieve Power or money. Mara would love ended like a charisma Model actress on Hollywood. Like the Sexy charming femme fatale . The typical endings you could imagine as good are not for me so no happy reunions or ponny and rainbows I WANT FAME POWER AND LOT OF MONEY


#161

That, dear Poison Queen, I can promise you you can have :smiley:
Make sure to end up in SolidVision, once this path will be written :sweat_smile:


#162

WELCOME TO TODAY’S EPISODE OF POISONING OR POLITICIAN. THE ONLY REALITY SHOW WHERE YOU COULD SEE THE REAL FACE OR OUR POLITICIANS. ONLY ONE WILL REACH THE TOP LIKE OUR OWN STATE REPRESENTATIVE IN THE CONGRESS. THE OTHERS WOULD FATE GRUESOME DEATHS… HERE COMES OUR HOST… MARA JADE THE MOST POPULAR POISONER IN ALL WORLD!!! :kiss:


#163

"The audience, after having cheered upon the feats of a fighter, after having followed them for weeks, could decide of their death when came their turn to be defeated.

On the opposite, it could also gives a second chance to a weak and puny fighter, in the goal of seeing them fail in a way even more satisfying in their next fight.

Your survival like your death depends on it. Depends on millions of viewers.

When you are dead, they choose another favorite, and the cycle begins anew.

This direct influence the audience have on the fights is the principle of OutZone Entertainment, the reason they are one of the first companies of the world. "

The reporter takes a deep breath, before continuing.

"But Mara Jade took the poisonous intent to a whole other level. In her world famous TV show, backstabbing and spying are at key, along with, of course, poisoning! Watching the political news never been so enthralling! Days after days, politicians clash with each other to ensure their position of favorite in Mara’s eyes. The Queen of Poisoning, her, rather enjoys her position of power, and never hesitate to make it known.

There are only two weeks left before the end of the show, and yet, what a suspense! We just learned that French Panther, the Creator of the game herself, will come personally to assist to the finale! Let’s hope she will survive it! I wouldn’t be surprised if Mara Jade wanted all the power to herself, to be honest…"

The reporter then grabs his glass of water, a bit thirsty after this impassioned presentation. He drinks it all, only to choke. His face becomes white, then pink, then purple, before he falls off his chair and onto the floor, dead.

An evil laugh is heard.


#164

French panter is Mara friend she is fine. Mara is loyal to her friends. The problem is reaching that status. But when she respect someone she is loyal. But the rest are dead in a funny colorful charming experience…