Outsiders (WIP with demo)


Errrr, maybe? :smirk:


An outsider is an outsider, dontcha know? They’re not on the inside and just don’t have the inside track on life…

They’re not one of us, they’re one of them… the outsiders… dontcha know?


The way you kept saying dontcha reminded me of this. Hahhahaha


I exactly thought the same thing…

One of my mother’s favorite bands :joy:

Anyway, could we please remain on topic?


Well, almost every one, but…I would advise you OutZone Entertainment :wink:


You can try to guess, from the first post of this thread :wink:

Otherwise, it will be revealed later. (or if @Nathan_Faxon feels like sharing details :stuck_out_tongue: )


Alright, here is a very small sample of our writing, to make you wait!
We may show you several in the future, keep in mind that they may not be related to the chapter/path we are writing, but could be somewhere in the game.
And of course, may be modified along our progress.

Enjoy! (even if it is very small :wink: )

“It’s beautiful”, you say, in awe before the sight in front of you.

The lights of the city are shining in the darkness, yellow and white sparks, witnesses of the consciousness of the city’s inhabitants.

“It would be, if it wasn’t corrupted.”, Abby answers, her voice carrying through the distant humming of numerous cars browsing the streets.

The night is surprisingly warm, a light wind ruffling both of your hair, as you are both seating on the roof of an abandoned building, at the outskirts of the city.

Your turn toward the north, where you can see the tall and impressive skyscrapers of the central district, kilometers away from here.


Well, in the plot, whatever the company, there will be one. We can’t invent 100+ secondary characters after all :stuck_out_tongue:

A limit, as in, set in stone? Not really. But you might be in for a surprise later :wink:

Mmmh, I was thinking about having an “energy” reserve, and each power would cost different amounts of it, displayed or not in the choice options.

I am open to suggestions on this point, it is not set in stone. I want to have a power mechanic you will all enjoy.


Is it just me,or does this story give off a ‘Infamous Second Son’ vibe?

Either way,it’s great and I can’t wait for more updates!


Just a question.:slight_smile:

Would you rather play a MC for which you can choose your own ideas on how they “think”, regardless of their history, or would you rather play as a MC whom has their own way of seeing the world due to their background, but can evolve, following what choices you make?

I’m not saying you won’t choose the name, or anything, but I admit that I want the MC to evolve, to grow through the story, the experiences. So you can see the change when you first discover how the Outsiders are really treated, and then when you become a responsible, and confident leader (or not :stuck_out_tongue: ), among a lot of things.

I may not make a lot of sense, so dont hesitate to ask me for more clarifications.


Definitely this. If I start out being Eiwynn, then the story is boring. Unless I try to be @poison_mara but isn’t that something I’d have to evolve into anyways?

Your French is very good for a native English speaker. Keep up the good work.

Me, responsible? You are having a ghost writer write the responsible and prim lady parts, right?


Thank you, I try to speak French as best as I can. :stuck_out_tongue:

Said like this, responsible might not be the right word for you :wink: You just reminded me to think about adding options for people who want to play differently. Don’t expect to be in a position of power, though :stuck_out_tongue:


That is o.k. I’d really enjoy snarky, fun and sarcastic choices… you know me.

I mean, one one end of the spectrum we can have @Cecilia_Rosewood and at the other @Nathan_Faxon … so I can have my fun without getting the dragon eye.

Ya, your French is much better then it was a year ago. You should keep taking French in school. I hear advance classes are fun at the university…


I didn’t mean you couldn’t be in a position of power if you are fun, or sarcastic, because that wouldn’t make much sense.

I was more speaking about a certain prankster character, that you are not yet familiar with. But will meet in the next chapter.


Why have i summoned here? It’s a gqme i should beta testing? Or it’s one game author does not want me ? Who is the author?? I am currently confused about why Am I here?


The author is @Snowpanther and I bet she’d love you to test it.

Your here because I was saying you’d love to be able to evolve the MC’s views as you play.

And I was telling @Snowpanther to put in some choices for Mara.


Oh french panther is a great person I certainly love help her. The games should have some sort of nickname to Know if I shoul beta or not.


Outsiders is pretty clear word Mara that we’d both like it. lol.


My feedback writing is good and flow solid. My main problem is I hate my character so much. She is kinda stupid and childish. She acts like 6 years old with the charisma of a brick
EDIT Some type of personality choice could be great. I don’t want to be the lame version of Sailor moon she was already too lame. I want to choose hate mom and dad and being ok with their dead like goodbye . Now i will made my way. The smartphone questions are lame as hell. I want to smash phone toake the info about me impossible to get not complaint about my selfish


I’m not really satisfied on the prologue myself, so I plan to rewrite it. And adding more choices was indeed already pointed out.

Thanks for your feedback, it helps a lot, as I’m wondering as to how to write the MC.

French Panther, huh? Better than some nicknames I got :smiley:

So you want the option to play a detestable character?