Outsiders (WIP with demo)


You have a point. To an extent the companies could have manipulated the general populace to think that way but I think that that most people fear and hate outsiders purely because they are different and people don’t like that, fear of the unknown and whatnot. The companies more than likely just capitalized on that.


Being stealthy is one thing and sure you could kill numerous people without being found out but you won’t be able to stay anonymous for long (especially if you decide to go on a killing spree).

If you did decide to do that, you are basically giving foundation to the prejudice and no doubt you will still cause the death of normal people be it intentionally or otherwise. If you don’t own up to the killings it is more than likely that the outsiders would think that the normal people are murdering their people leading to retaliation and the normal people would just have their prejudices confirmed and would think of outsider as nothing more than savages.

Who is to say that the power outsiders have is a sickness? I personally love the fact I have powers and assume that others do too. If someone told me I was sick and could “cure” me, I probably wouldn’t take too kindly to them. The likelihood of people loving you for the fact you could remove power is very slim, especially if you kill innumerable people to be able to do it, the ends don’t always justify the means.


This WIP is very good! I was so genuinely sad when it ended! :grin:

I did enjoy the flashbacks, and the TV shows names!

I think perhaps the dates could be written bigger or in bold caracters to make them more visible, for the people confused about the time jumps. But personally I thought it was absolutely comprehensible!

Do we really have to find a cure though? Because our character seems to be able to absorb the power of the other Outsiders. Maybe the MC doesn’t always have to kill to take these powers. Maybe the MC doesn’t always have to assimilate these powers. After all, we don’t know the extent of our power. It could be that we have absolute control over the marks, allowing us to manipulate these completely. Take them, give them, absorb them.

I would think that it depends.
I can totally see some people wanting to get rid of their powers. What if it is useless power, or a power you can’t control and that turned you life to hell? What if the power manifests when the person is already way into adulthood, when they have a family and children they are not willing to abandon to preserve themselfs? I imagine not everyone wants to be special!


That is very true but I meant that people might not love you just because you can remove people’s power. Most people would probably think you’re full of it or afraid that there is some big drawback, you are after all removing a part of someone. Some people might even fear you more, I mean that power has to go somewhere.


@Nathan_Morgan Yeah, I imagine that stealing powers or removing them without people’s permission would not win you any affection.

Especially for the Outsiders who are happy with their powers. I mean, obviously some of them are hunted down because they refuse to be bought and used by the corporations, but others might try to make the best of what they got, and actually go the Companies willingly. After all, a leash can be pulled from both sides.


I still don’t think it would mater if I killed outsiders. I’m not using a weapon or normal human means so it would be obvious an outsider killed them and I’m only killing bad guys (people who attack me, my comrades, or outsiders for no reason) so it doesn’t matter if they were human, but my powers only work on outsiders (it would be a nice feature of I could transfer my stolen powers to others, but I’m too distrustful to share). I wouldn’t trust anything the government or rumors say about anyone, and work with a group (the resistance) so I don’t think it would mater.

Outsiders are heavily discriminated against and mistreated so I could understand why some wouldn’t want to be outsiders. But, as long as a person doesn’t attack me or ask me to remove their powers, I won’t forceably remove anyone’s powers.

@Nyxerie Maybe, you’re right and everything can be done without killing (but, the first post seems ominous). I just like to be extremely cautious so I won’t be sad over accidentally killing my best friend. This is also why I plan to work in a group. If I remove the powers of a 7 ft tall bodybuilder in a fight and he’s still able to function, I need a backup plan.


Well, guys…

How the MC’s powers work is, as of now,

They can “copy” another outsider’s powers temporarily, but if they kill the outsider, the victim’s powers are absorbed permanently, stored inside the MC like a wardrobe full of clothes.


It doesn’t matter if people know it’s an outsider doing the killing, some people are just looking for an excuse even if that excuse happens to be fabricated. Even if you work with the resistance you’re still building a new world on top of the bodies of the old one and trust me if you try to overthrow the government by force there will be a lot of bodies, most of which will probably be innocents from both sides. Still it’s your story, you should to play how you want to. :smiley:


Seems I guessed right!


Which government? The companies are the only ones controlling the world now. Governments are only a façade. So those are the ones you’ll have to fight.

But yes, no matter the side, there will be a lot of bodies. Everything will come at a price, so the MC better be prepared to pay it. Everything won’t be always dark, but it won’t be joyful either.


Sounds like some serious 1984 stuff.


Depends on the approach you want to take. Work with the companies, or try to betray them. Same with the rebels.

But, as it is an invisible war, at least for the majority of the “normal” citizens, they will try to hide it from the public’s eyes.


It will be interesting to see how you write the companies. I hope some are “good” and can appeal to more than just those who want power.

This kind of reminds me of World War OK where even some of the neutral places were attacked and suffered loss.
So, the choices are join the fighting and see innocents get caught in the cross fire or don’t join and don’t stop the innocents from getting caught in the cross fire.


We’re still working on the plot, and how we write the companies. As I said, we will work on them one by one.

For the good companies…it depends on what are your goals, how you play, and which characters you decide to ally with…etc.
A lot of things can change, for better or for worse. Maybe some characters want the same thing as you, whatever it might be, and it will be up to you to make sure things go your way.


If we let snow kitty keep talking she will spill the entire story to us… so keep her talking everyone :dolphin:


Tu quoque, Evil Twin!? Traitor xD


Naw. You are a brilliant writer - I want you to write so I can enjoy the story you bring to us. Not write the cliff notes version in spoilers :dolphin:


So you want me to spoil you? :wink:


I almost finished modifying the prologue, we decided to let you choose either be friendly or cold towards Abby.

The reason is that she is too important right now. After all, why would she help a complete stranger, that would endanger her and others rebels? We might have been sent to spy on them, or something like this.

So, first part of chapter one wouldn’t make a lot of sense.

Thanks to @FairyGodfeather for the advice :wink:


Alright, the new version is up, tell me what do you think of it :wink: