I’ve just started on a new game, Outcast. It’s just the prologue for now.
Game is here http://aworthy.rf.gd/web/mygame/outcast.html
All comments welcome. Here’s a sneak peek of the remodeling :
20 Likes
Congratulations on starting a new project! 
What is this story going to be about? It’s hard to guess from such a short demo.
2 Likes
I wish you luck on your story
1 Like
Thanks for reading! I could tell you but then isn’t part of the fun finding out what happens 
I can tell you there’s going to be a war in the future (or maybe not, actually I’m not that sure myself. The story writes itself and I’m not sure how it’s going to end.)
Yes it’s short (it’s just the prologue and only mostly done at that.) I posted it because I mostly need opinions from the non-binary people. I don’t have a lot of experience with non-binary people so I don’t know if that level of support is adequate or even if that looks authentic.
Also it would go a lot faster if I just made it gender-neutral. I can do gender-neutral, and it doesn’t offend anyone, but then again it may not be as inclusive or personal. Being gender inclusive is very “expensive” - most of the code is just to support the multiple pronouns. So gender neutral (as in, we’ll just avoid any mention of gender) or gender-inclusive (in which we have alternate text for every gender?
Seeing as there might be a war in the future, how does everyone feel about women in wars? I mean, we rarely see women in combat roles in war movies, I’m wondering why that is and whether it’s workable. At this point we can do practically anything with it - it was @DreamingGames idea, and I just ran with it.
2 Likes
You don’t need to ask us nb folk for our genitals unless this is Choice of Pregnancy.
11 Likes
What do you mean? do you mean the biologicals? If I removed that, I wouldn’t have that info, and then you’d miss out on correcting people who will get it wrong. I mean, the non-binaryness doesn’t show on the outside. I mean, I know you know, and I know, but whoever addresses the protagonist is not going to know. So he’s going to call you something like “Hey, you… boy!” but that wouldn’t be appropriate if you were obviously female. So if I leave that out, I’m missing information that I can use to make the game more immersive and realistic.
If you want to portray women on wars. Think to yourself, Why do I want to do that?..
If the answer is I want to put women in bad situations and fetish about them being abused by men. Or is I want to put women like they are frailer than men and need be rescued…
If those are answers please don’t. Women in general, are as capable as men in their places nor better nor worse than men.
You are misplacing Trans man or women difference levels in the transition from Nb people.
Also I am a cis woman but If a game asks me if I have a vagina and the size of my boobs my Reply in Anger would be heard in America. It is not polite
2 Likes
Yeah. You’re asking for our genitals
Don’t really want transphobia in my escapism
If you’re androgynous you can pretty much get a “hey you boy… girl? uh”
More immersive for me when I don’t have to think about people trying to knife my eyes out for being trans
7 Likes
“what are you”
“I’m non-binary”
“Okay but what are you biologically? Like what are you really? I need to know to make this game transphobic, because transphobia immersive”
4 Likes
Well it’s a war. Everyone’s caught up in it. I’ve never actually seen a woman in an army movie with the rest of the squad, so I’m wondering if that’s somehow offensive or something. Chances are that this will end up in medieval fantasy anyway, it seems to be leaning that way.
You’re right about the trans people. I haven’t really considered that, it’s going to add another level of complexity to it. I don’t think any game has addressed transsexuality has it?
There’s definitely not going to be any fetishes in YAF, I think (I hope, anyway ).Okay transphobia is out… I think that settles it. I don’t suppose anyone will be complaining about gender-neutral… right?
2 Likes
aworthy, keep in mind that CoG is an egalitarian, sex-positive company. Asking NB folx for their genitals in your game doesn’t qualify as sex positive. You don’t need to give the MC the opportunity to correct people using their genitals. Most CoG games don’t even bother with making NB MCs need to correct anyone. They just have NPCs inherently know the player’s gender and pronouns, and they don’t question someone whose gender is outside the binary.
11 Likes
I figured as much. Removed all that stuff, looks a lot better.
2 Likes
You can add me in for preferring gender neutral over discrimination.
@Aworthy, you don’t need to make a new scene/text file everytime you want to shift pages. Instead use
3 Likes
I see you just joined us recently so welcome to the CoG forums! Hope you find a home among us!
A recurring problem I’ve seen now and then on upstarting writers and newcomers is that more often that not they forget to do their homework. You stand only to benefit by doing your own research beforehand - not just on the subjects you want to include in your story but also the medium you’re using to expose your game, the kind of people that are going to read it and the host or company’s policies, philosophies and rules.
As @trevers17 mentioned before, CoG is a feminist, egalitarian and sex-positive company that is also pro LGBT+. This forum has become a “sanctuary” for all sorts of people, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identification, and they are committed to keeping it that way. Always be mindful of what you say and how you say it.
If you want your story to be inclusive of non-binary and or trans individuals then you’d do well to read up on the several existing threads we have around here. I’m aware of that these topics are extensive but I think you’d benefit from reading and listening to other people, especially those with personal experience. If you still have questions then feel free to join in those threads!
PS: I strongly suggest you update your first post with some information about the game as posting it mid-thread means it can be easily missed or skipped. I’ll also add in: What is the premise and genre of this story? Will there be romance? Will there be any kind of character creation? What kind of feedback are you looking for in particular?
8 Likes
It’s too short to say anything… but I really like the interaction with the mom at the beginning 
Also you should add a description of the story… I can asume it’s either a period piece or a fantasy… but you should clarify all that
1 Like
Males are over-represented in the genre because the vast majority of roles in any given army are taken up by men, and most fatalities as a result are male. So in TV shows or movies it takes a more male perspective. Plus, historically, women weren’t given any roles until the 20th century.
Now as for writing it depends on how you really want to treat the characters, as well as what sort of context you are looking at. You could write a female path that is no different than that a male would have thereby making the treatment exactly the same except for player choices. Or you could make it a commentary that addresses how roles and the experiences of non-males in war are different. This could mean treating the player differently by putting them in different situations, but more likely would mean changing the opinions certain characters have towards the player or another woman in a combat role. Either would work, but given that you brought it up it might be interesting to write the latter.
It would be really great, but as @laguz mentioned, some things you just have to experience to be able to write about. I will never know what it’s like to be blind or be homeless or female or non-binary, so any attempt at writing it in is going to feel fake and weird.
I think too many games ask you for your name and gender for apparently no reason. All they seem to do with it is put it on the stat page. The romances are going to be tough if I put it in, unless I write it from a purely male standpoint. It’s going to end up like the whole non-binary kludge that was there in the beginning.
The main failing of any author is probably that they can’t write what they haven’t experienced first-hand.
1 Like
Fair enough, just do whatever you think you can. You are the author, I was just putting my two cents in.
How do you know I’m not using page_break?
It won’t if you do your research thoroughly to the best of your capability. And asking people around here is one way to do your research – part of questionnaire methodology.
2 Likes