I was definitely feeling the “WHY AM I STILL TALKING” wannafreakout vibes from the MC in that last exchange.
10 Likes
dammm is has not been more than 1 chapter but our cover have been sniffed right out of us
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Oooh~ I love this already. Definitely looking forward to updates!!
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This was fun! Loved the ending. Looking forward to future updates!
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Excellent writing so far! I particularly enjoy: the way you describe the scenery; the bit of poetry about the plum blossoms; the double entendre in Hua Lingyun’s line about the thieves regretting entering the Manor; and our character’s past experience with punishing teaching methods foreshadowing the trajectory of the evaluation with Xu Yuan. All four RO’s are interesting and distinct, even the ones I didn’t think I’d be interested in based on their summaries.
It was a treat to sit back and enjoy reading the story instead of needing a red teacher’s pen every five words. Literally the only time I wanted to make a correction was when a character “sheaths” a weapon instead of saying “sheathes,” but upon looking into it, most conjugation resources list it without the E. I thought “sheaths” was solely used as the plural form while the verb almost always included an E at the end, like “breaths” and “breathes.”
5 Likes
Haha, sorry about that! But maybe it’s for the best? 
Hmmm… Now that you mention it, it does indeed look a bit strange to use “sheaths” as a verb. Thank you for pointing it out!
Also, I’m really glad you didn’t find any other mistakes. My countless re-reads of the demo were worth it! 
14 Likes
looks around and pushes WIP up have fun reading 
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Thanks for pushing up this WIP and bringing it to my attention. It certainly was fun to read. Will keep an eye on this stories development.
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I want to check this out soon as there’s more but a few things seemed very odd. I’ll use ‘he’ to refer to protag so apparently our protag is supposed to be some sharpened blade who does important and darker deeds for the elders, like assassinations etc, however he doesn’t act like described. He gets very emotional over nothing. He gets upset from meeting someone more powerful than him to the point where he almost runs his mouth. He easily gets startled. And when the player picks more ballsy dialogue choices, he gets scared and starts sweating? When he arrived to the new place, just the fact that it was large was enough to make him feel hopeless about his mission, really? This is the person the elders rely on for such critical missions? Like, if it was all an act for him to sell his cover character, i’d understand but thats not what it is because he acts like this even in his head or when no one would care or notice. In general our protag doesn’t act like who he is. He acts like some goofy 16 year old
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my character didn’t do any of those, i guess ur choices made ur mc act like a goofy 16 year old.
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good for u i guess
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Thanks for the feedback! I went over the chapter again and rewrote some passages, I’ll update the files along with chapter two update. 
8 Likes
Oh u still develop this? Now this is going to be interesting
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Cough cough… you’re so bad for that cliffhanger.
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per author’s request
Demo Update: 9 May 2024
Find out what the Manor has in store for you in chapter 2.
Features:
- 18k words of new content
- discover a secret plot
- receive a gift (or two)
- talk it out with Wei Qing
- attend a banquet
Follow the link DEMO in the main post and don’t forget to let me know what y’all think!
34 Likes
Woohoo, awesome, new content
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I love this story so much! It is 2 for 2 on great chapters, and 2 for 2 on brutal cliff hangers. I am surely hooked
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Man, I’ve been on this like, binge of playing Amazing Cultivation Simulator and now Matchless Kungfu a bit, and then a story like this comes along.
And it cliffhangers me so! Certainly very curious to see where this all goes.
2 Likes