Opinions on age gaps and teacher-student relationships?

like what other people have said… tread very carefully, especially if you’re planning to make the MC a high schooler.
i’m not super knowledgable about the american school system but a senior is just 18 right? that’s practically still a child, and if your teacher character is in their late 20s early 30s, that looks…iffy :sweat_smile: bordering a bit too much on the “barely legal” thing you see in a lot of media. just… be careful, if it’s possible to change the dynamic without sacrificing your visions, like other people have already suggested, i would probably recommend that :slight_smile:

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I don’t mind. It’s something that shouldn’t happen in real life, so fiction is a great place to explore it. I mean, people love games about war and killing, even though I doubt they’d want that in real life, so why is a student-teacher relationship in a game such a no-no?

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It’s not my fictional trope of choice and not a path I would explore, but it’s not necessarily a deal breaker (when optional) in the same way that plenty of IF games give the option to kill people, rob places, etc.

This explains the moral issue of student/teacher relationships perfectly. Statutory rape/sexual abuse of a minor, student/teacher relationships, and age-gap relationships are all separate issues that people tend to conflate in these discussions because they often overlap. I say this because it means you will never be able to scrub out the problems with a student/teacher relationship and quite frankly I recommend you don’t try to do so.

The people who do like forbidden relationship tropes in fiction usually like them because they get a thrill out of the relationship being a problem so over-sanitizing it tends to not only come off as egregious romanticization but is also likely to alienate the audience you wrote the RO for to begin with.

If you do decide to go ahead with this I’ve got a couple of notes for the sake of being respectful of survivors:

  1. Put that content warning up front in your game, and consider having a toggle option for it that will just hide all options for you to flirt with the teacher

  2. Have the player initiate any and all romantic interactions with the teacher. If the teacher flirts with the student it automatically becomes non-optional content.

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I’m a fan of age gap romance (especially if it’s older woman and younger guy compare to the usual older guy-younger woman) but teacher-student thrope is not my fav. Especially since the student is a highschooler who is barely legal. Too much power on one party of the relationship is never a good idea. College student and professor might be less iffy since the student should be mature enough to understand the risk and reason behind the attraction.

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Thanks for all the replies! A lot of people have mentioned the power-imbalance can be a problem with the teacher-student relationship - just out of curiosity, would your opinions change if the student was the dominant one in the relationship? (As in they’re the one initiating it and dynamic-wise they’re the one with the ‘control’ so to speak)

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I don’t think it’s so much as who initiates it as the power dynamic as people have mentioned in earlier posts. A teacher will have overall authority over the student regardless, being able to fail them in classes, remove them from classes etc. This doesn’t really change depending on who initiates the romance between the two characters.

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Going to agree with many of the above posters. Gotta be really careful with the type of relationship you’re proposing which is a barely legal teen dating someone who is not only older, but who has a lot more power and influence over them due to their teacher status. The power dynamic is all wrong. There’s a reason why student-teacher relationships in high-schools and universities are usually frowned upon.

Also no it wouldn’t be much of an improvement for me if the student initiated the relationship. They’re still not in control due to the afore mentioned power imbalance and often lesser experience from previous relationships.

(Listen to the song don’t stand so close to me.)

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Is everyone who is against student-teacher relationships in games also against killing, robbing, etc in these games? (As they should be, after all, killing and robbing is also VERY unethical, even more than a student-teacher relationship) This is after all a GAME. There are no victims in a game or in a movie, only people who willingly choose to play it

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For me, it would be really creepy if the teacher was the one initiating it. Especially since this looks like a high school setting. The teacher can still be dominant while not actively trying to pursue it. So I guess I’d feel just a little bit better if they’re not actively pursuing someone that’s essentially still so young. Note: just a little bit better. Again, tread carefully because it can easily get tasteless. I’m not discouraging you, nor am I saying that you shouldn’t do it, I’m just giving my personal thoughts.

And saying “It’s just fiction!” isn’t the best defense tbh. It does affect mindsets, it does affect how people would see it.

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That’s debatable if it sets a precedent.

Yes killing, robbing etc is wrong, but everyone knows that. You have powerful older (usually) men (but there’s been cases of women doing it too) dating barely legal teens and it’s not strictly illegal, just not great on the balance of power front. Giving people with power an ethical green light to go after a partner half their age and very young by normalising it is not something I think should be encouraged personally.

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I completely disagree, people KNOW that relationships with giant age gaps and young people with older, often more influential people are wrong, they look down upon it. It’s totally hypocritical to not give a flying pig that you can murder people, get tortured, rob people etc in these games, but when it comes to a student-teacher relationship, where you yourself decide if you want it or not(and even without the "boss-worker, student-teacher dynamic that exists in real life) everyone points it out like it’s the worst thing ever.
Games are just the place where this can exist, where you can be a badass murderer, a nervous robber or a seductive school student.

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i’m recently recovering from the news where a known celebrity was involved with several fans (some of which are underage). So right now, i’m vehemently against against the idea of any kind relationship with a power imbalance.

If the author can tweak some things, i guess i can be swayed.


As for the age gap, as long as both parties are consenting adults and that there are no grounds of questionable consent, i'm good.

I would guess this thread would be a likely place to continue much of this conversation.

For me I think the most important thing is the audience of the game. If this is an adult game that’s clearly only for adults where all the characters are adults then I say do whatever you want but if it’s an all ages game then I’d tread very very carefully to not normalize anything to a young audience that might not be able to see the issues with it.

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The way I see it, I’m not against unethical behaviours being portrayed in media (books, games, movies or whatever) but I think we, as writers, have a responsibility not to glamourise those behaviours. You can’t just portray something that is extremely problematic in real life as not having any negative consequences whatsoever for the characters involved, just because it’s a game and they’re not real people.

It’s like if an author argued “my game is set in the 50s, it can have sexism in it”. Which, yeah, fine, but are you going to show how that sexism has a negative effect on people, and how it’s wrong? Or are you just going to have characters casually express their sexist views and let those stand unchallenged? There’s a drastic difference between those two approaches.

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Honestly, I’m wondering more about how the MC is 18 but was previously in their 20s? Is this a reincarnation type thing?

Anyway, you’re going to get varying attitudes/opinions on this subject no matter what, so do what you want with them as long as it makes sense story wise for the characters

I’ve written probably one of the more messed up “teacher-student” relationships (And LARGE age gap considering she was a dark elf and the MC a human) which wasn’t even supposed to be romantic in any way and I still get comments/PMs from people wanting an option to romance the “teacher.” Lol.

The only reason why I didn’t is because it just didn’t make sense for those particular characters to wind up “happily ever after” based on their personalities.

By the same token, I wrote another relationship with a similar (though smaller since they’re both human) age gap/student mentor thing going on and it was much more wholesome and it made sense due to the storyline and character’s feelings for each other.

Just follow your vision.

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Glamourising such things is almost never existant. Often, the playable character is, and should be an untrustworthy source of information, we’re not playing as god, but as someone human. But I agree that there definitly should be challenges, and people who stand in the way of doing the “wrong” thing. If it just “happaned” without any reaction where’s even the point in the “forbidden” relationship then

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In the majority of CS games, romances of any nature “just happen.” – The “forbidden” aspect is a siren to many readers who want to go on a power fantasy where they can enact their “fantasy of the forbidden” without needing to confront any consequences or face any challenges.

There would be a lot more acceptance if these “forbidden relationships” were well written challenges that explore the romance in-depth. That is both beyond most CS game author’s visions, and beyond their ability to pull off.

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I would love to read something like that tbh! I mean, it’s an option and any reader who feels uncomfortable can avoid that dynamic altogether, right? That’s what interactive stories are all about. I think you should write that path if you want to, as long as it’s optional.

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Imho the thing about interactive fiction, and fiction in general, is that you are free to explore options that you would not be able to do so or don’t want to do so, either being a coldblooded vampire to a fumbling and shy person who couldn’t hurt a fly, and student-teacher relationships have always been present in fiction stories for the same reason, especially because more often than not it’s written in the eyes of the student and who hasn’t had a crush on a cute teacher before lol.

In the end i think it shouldn’t be a deal breaker especially because as other folks have pointed up, it’s entirely up to the user to pursue that relationship, suppose you could err on the side of caution and put a content/trigger warning about it.

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