I will find out the truth, Esog! You can’t keep it buried forever!
See there’s the beauty of reading far too deep into a text. The author can state that ‘the tree was green’ but the reader can then go on a tirade about how the tree stands for corporate corruption and the shade by its branches is meant to represent those taken advantage of by a cold, emotionless system.
Sure, it could mean all that… But it could also mean that it’s currently Spring.
Either way- at least we all know one thing for sure- the tree is still green.
Huh, weird! Well, I’m glad it’s just a formatting issue on inkshares! Makes everything a little easier, I suppose!
That ‘probably’ is worrying me, my friend.
Each ‘s’ both makes me curious as well as scared.
… Including the first one.
Send him the hat.
Hats are clinically proven to make any situation at least 10% better.
Plus I need someone to have the hat so I can still say ‘I believe in the man with the hat’ and not be horribly lying.
… Though preferably Aurora would get the hat again. I have a feeling he might also need the hat. Maybe more?
… This calls for extreme measures.
Don’t worry about it!
I always do the same thing so you’re A-OK!
Now! Tally ho to Chapter 31! I.e. The chapter that I actually can’t think of a rhyme for. Not even on accident.
This is much more of a suggestion than a correction, but I feel like you might want to break up this first sentence a little more- it goes on for almost three line with no breaks, not even a comma, so it feels a bit run-on-ish(?) if that makes any sense.
Nitpicky suggestion instead of a correction as well but- if Daniel both saw and talked to him… wouldn’t he assume that Rowena let him go? Is he asking if she ‘just let him go’? (I.e. no punishment/imprisonment/etc?) Or more of an ‘And you let him go?’ (I.e. disbelief at the idea?)
Well… I… honestly don’t have anything more to point out here. I’m sorry, I feel like I should find something other than two nitpicky suggestions but I didn’t. I’ll go back through tomorrow to make sure since I feel like I should give you something but I guess… less is more?
Either way, adored this chapter as well. Most of this wrap-up is gonna be in spoilers because- maybe at this point I really am obsessed with my one theory. But the whole contacting Daniel bit, plus the way Aurora described the figure as vaguely familiar- I s w e a r I’m hooked on this theory that Allikeo is Silas. Because I’m 99% sure that the figure Aurora saw was Allikeo. And I’m 98% sure Allikeo is Silas. So I’m 98% of 99% sure that the figure Aurora saw in his cell was Silas.
… But maybe this is still me seeing what I want to see. I don’t know. All I know is you have me searching for clues to support my theory.
Also- Daniel’s still taking baby steps, isn’t he? He got close, standing up to Rowena like that… He is learning, slowly, it seems, but learning. So, y’know, here’s to baby steps!
But, yeah! I loved this chapter as well. I’m gonna reread it early tomorrow to just double/triple check I can’t find anything else, 'cause, well, I want to help you much as I’m possible.
As always, Good Luck!
I’ll go ahead and just edit this post to avoid double-posting. Anyway! I couldn’t find anything more in that chapter so I’m guessing this is another case of less-is-more!
Which means it’s time for Chapter 32!
Comma before ‘and’
Add in a “continue” before “living”
Replace the “an” with a “the”, also add a comma after “inevitable”
Comma before “and”
Add in an “it” before “the”
Replace “some” with “done”
I think you’re missing a break here.
Oh, dang. That chapter ending was another cliffhanger. Was it Allikeo (or Silas if I’m still sticking with my theory)? Or Daniel? But, yeah! I really liked this chapter as well!
And, here’s a fun compliment to give- I really loved the balance of description and action/movement! I though you kept it well here, as you’ve been doing in the past few chapters but especially so here. I don’t particularly know why that stood out to me more here but… it did! So, yay!
Also, a personal compliment but a fun one as well, I love that you keep it so that the Dravara aren’t inherently bad. You do have Rowena and her lackeys, but you also keep an interesting contrast when it comes to the two Dravara who seem mostly to just be following orders than some personal conviction to make Aurora miserable (when leading him to the hearing and to the den). It’s a minor touch but I think one that’s done well to keep the Dravara intimidating… but still human.
So, yeah! All in all- very well done, loved it as well.