So, weird compliment, but I just watched a movie today and it was absolutely horrible in that nothing was consistent, but it got me thinking about things that do hold their consistency well since a pet peeve of mine in any story/movie/etc. is inconsistencies- and one of the examples of good consistency that popped into my head was of Rifted and its characters. I know I’ve complimented your writing and distinction of character voices before but I also just wanted to mention that I really do enjoy the fact that not only do you have distinct characters, but you keep them consistent as well. Which, I guess, is a weird compliment like I said before but… Yeah! You do well there. It’s something I’ve noticed as I read.
Haha, I have one of them inside the details bar (tab? triangle? I have no idea what to call that thing) up in the previous post but lemme see if I can put another here as well…
Another odd theory of mine here
So this is my other rabbit hole theory that I’m 99% sure is probably wrong but I still like to entertain the idea of every now 'n then. I said that my ‘Rowena killed Benjamin’ theory might’ve been the craziest but that’s mostly because it has the least amount of textual evidence to back it up.
But if we’re really talking reading way, way too deeply into the text (and just general ‘where the hell did you even come up with this’), then this idea might be even further out there. As in… it’s not on Earth anymore. In fact, there’s a big chance that it may currently be orbiting Jupiter. But I guess that’s for you to decide.
I should stop stalling.
My secondary tinfoil-hat theory is this: That Silas may have been the first one to interact with the faeloren.
Now, this theory mainly revolves around said scars he totes (or… toted, since we’re not entirely sure what’s happened to him), and his general fearful nature, as well as his extreme distrust of the Dravara.
Now, at first I chalked this up to being him having seen an attack by the faeloren as they were defending themselves, or perhaps even wolves, and him just generally being treated horribly by the Dravara as I’m getting a sense that such a thing… isn’t entirely uncommon. But considering Rowena explicitly mentions that she tortured the man who first communicated with the Dravara… Well, I’m thinking that kinda thing would certainly established distrust of the Dravara, and he’d want to spare his brother from that, and it might even account for Silas’ constant fear of most things, as Aurora seems to put it. Also, what if the marks are like what Bantrem did to Aurora?
Or I might also be reading too much into everything… But, y’know, fun food for thought.
… Well, okay, probably not fun for most people but…
It does make sense. It’s an admirable thing to strive for/do (even though it really should just be the kinda thing you’d expect most writers to do, but sadly most don’t, as you yourself pointed out), so, yeah, makes sense!
No problem, and also don’t worry about it! (I should also apologize for missing a day. Whoops. My bad, sorry. )
Here we go to Chapter 22! (I can’t believe I’m on Chapter 22 already! But, as they say, time flies when you’re having fun.)
You repeat the word “taste” twice here, perhaps replace one of them with a synonym? (i.e. “flavor”, or something of the like.)
Missing a break right here.
Just a heads up (pun not intended), but you use the description “shaking his head” twice in a row when describing Daniel’s actions- maybe change or delete one?
Put in “knew” before “this”
Either add in a “that” before the first “it” and a comma after the second “it”, or add in a “that” before “any”
Replace “the” with “they”
Oh, dang, I really like the way you end this chapter. I don’t know why I like it so much in particular, but it feels like you really built up to that last line- like it’s just a very perfect cliffhanger ending to the chapter. A page turner, and such.
Also, you’ve given me another crazy theory- but first I need to ask a question. I’ve noticed, throughout your story, though it is fantasy it’s also grounded in reality, in a way. Essentially- no wild, out-there magic. Even the faeloren use their own technology instead of some mystical power, from what it seems. (I should be clear- this is not a criticism! Not at all! Just an observation, and I actually kinda like how you do it all. Since there is this kind of mystique around the faeloren until you find out what they are and you hold this idea that they might be something supernatural but also might be natural beasts up until you actually see who they are and that they don’t really fit into either of those categories, and now I’m rambling again. Anyway,) but because it is fantasy and such things are possible, and I’m intrigued by this world you’ve created, I have to ask- is there any kind of magic in the world of Rifted? Or is it as it was with the faeloren? (Stories with some mystique surrounding them, but an explanation logical by this world’s standards.)
Also, I’m really hoping Daniel comes to some form of his senses and realizes just how many lies Rowena is spouting. I’ve always said I believe in the grumpy man with the hat but now I’ve gotta say I believe in the kind man who needs to trust his own inclinations more than Rowena’s.
But, yeah! That’s all I got for this chapter, which I loved, as usual!