Oh, wow! Six years is a long time! That's a lot of dedication and work you've put into this story, then... I think it shows, though.
That's too bad about the agent as well, I'm sorry it fell through.
Haha, I figured he wasn't very shy about, well, most things when he walked out into the snow shirtless. I mean, okay, you do you but maybe don't freeze to death, please.
You wound me.
Well, I'll find out soon, anyway, as we now move onto Chapter 16!
I think you're missing a paragraph break here?
Change to either "you're really angry" or "you really are angry"
Replace "thinking" with "think"
I'm not entirely sure what you mean with "it was entirely like the sound"- you already stated that it was like the growl, so do you mean to say "but it was an entirely different sound"? Or something along those lines?
Delete "in circles"
Replace the first "at" with "as"
Add an "s" to the end of "gaze" ("gazes")
Comma before "but"
Oh, wow! Definitely an exciting chapter! Gotta say, this is one of the ones where I'm kinda at a loss of what to say at the end here because it's played to all of your strengths. You have action, you have the fast pace, you have your characters thoughts and interactions and everything just kinda... went really well.
I don't know, does that sound stupid? Probably sounds stupid-
What I'm trying to say is- this was a very good chapter! It flowed nicely, you had a good amount of detail, and a very, very good buildup up to the point where they were circled by 'them', and then that scene was very nicely done as well, very tense and exciting.
I guess, if I'm getting really nitpicky, my one thing to say would be during the scene in which Aurora tries to distract them and tells Daniel to run, you use a lot of pronouns- and since both Aurora and Daniel are referred to by 'he' throughout this section it can get a li'l confusing as to who is doing what and where.
The one spot I'm mainly thinking of is right here:
(More specifically those last two paragraphs but I included the rest to show that you'd had both Aurora and Daniel in the spotlight beforehand, so the reader was already focusing on both of them at the same time.)
When you said "his knees bent in preparation" I had to check myself because for a moment I thought you were talking about Daniel- like he'd finally caved in to Aurora's idea and was going to run, (which confused me a little at first since it seemed like he was deadset on not leaving Aurora behind), but then you mentioned locking gazes with one of the creatures and I realized you were talking about Aurora who was getting ready to charge one of them.
But then afterwards, you talked about both of them getting hit by darts, and in the first bit of the next paragraph, you say this:
Which made me rethink my previous assertion again since it seemed like: 'Okay, maybe Daniel did try to run and they shot him down because of that, so Aurora was cursing because his plan failed'.
The reason this is so nitpicky, however, is because it's cleared up quickly in the next very next paragraph when you make it obvious that both of them had been hit by the darts... And it's a lot less stretched out then I make it sound since this is at the climatic moment of the chapter and so the reader is already reading pretty fast and caught up in what is happening so while I can stretch out this nitpick into a solid couple of paragraphs it really takes less than a second while reading to understand exactly what's happening to who and who it is that's running/not running/etc.
But, for the sake of nitpicky editing, I guess that the easiest way to clear this up from the get-go, would be to just add in their names a bit more in place of "his"/"he"
Example, in your first bit: "His knees bent in preparation", just making it "Aurora's knees bent in preparation" might clear up everything else quite nicely.
... And now that I've written it, I realize I probably should have led with that instead of going on this overly long explanation leading up to the suggestion. Whoops.
Well, I guess it's still some advice to watch out for. If there's any other moment that falls into that same slight confusion, I'll point it out... and try my best to not be quite as ramble-y as I was here. Sorry about that.
But yeah! That's really my only piece of advice for this chapter. (And even that is if I'm getting really nitpicky). It was very, very good! You always do well with these kinda chapters, though, so I'm not surprised.
So, yeah! Good luck!