While I don’t necessarily “hate” everyone, there isn’t a person a I trust…yet. It wasn’t until I finished reading the demo & finally breathed that I realized how paranoid I was reading this. lol I do love my little Golden Finch.
I don’t know if it’s possible & you have enough options already but when you are choosing on if you are going or not to the mansion, I kinda wish there was an option where the MC could just kind of brush off the whole thing & not go. Instead of taking a fearful or aggressive stance they could just be like “yeah I’m not about that life” or be like “really what are they going to do if I don’t go, kidnap me…” lol Because I could see this being how my sarcastic MC would have responded. Granted the outcome is the same as if you choose one of the other options to not go cuz they’re going to make you one way or the another.
If I may make a request is that you continue to have an options where the MC can “play along” with the situation. Like my MC is curious enough to go along with things once they’re forced into the situation because they want to find out more about their parents, especially their mom. But they’re totally not sold on the idea but still wants to seem “cordial”. There are several times where you do give options that reflect this already and I understand that at some point the MC will have to choose to either fully commit or to try to run. But as of right now I feel like my MC only understands enough to know that this situation is dangerous but yet they are curious enough to risk being in danger in order of find out the truth.
Anyways, I’m really enjoying this story & am excited to read more.
I noticed a small typo: “Don’t touch me,” you say, taking a quick step backward. Jeremy. “Sorry, kid. I said your name a few times, but you were really out of it.”
(incomplete sentence before Jeremy’s line?)
Replayed it with the updated version. I just love the fact that we get to be awful To everyone, especially the familiar Simon(e) is an absolute lad.
I noticed a few typos in last chapter, when Simone is genderlocked female the text still shows masculine pronouns for example.
Might be fixed now but The response to “does that mean that I have a wimpy soul?” was the same as the “can I trade mine for a bigger one?”.
Hey everyone, sorry for the silence the last couple weeks. I’m moving to a different state the first week of June so I have been busy with those preparations.
I was hoping to have chapter 7 ready before the move, but I don’t see that happening anymore
I’ll let you know as soon as I have an “official” date for the chapter. I would think it should be out sometime in late June!
Birds bob their heads up and down because they are hungry, angry, excited, or bored. They might also do it because they want attention or want to bond or play with you.
The first draft of chapter 7 is now playable! I know it’s been months and months, but there’s still quite a bit of branching and small details in this chapter that I haven’t had time to test yet. So please send any bugs you find and I’ll do a patch in about a week or so when I’ve had more time to go over everything
I have edited the demo on dashingdon to add chapter seven! Features:
Additional 17k words for a new total word count of 99k just 50 shy of 100k i’m so mad (~43k per playthrough)
Some tweaks to earlier chapters
Find out more about the other initiates and OFNA members
Investigate the woods around the property
Please let me know if you find any bugs/typos/general issues or have any suggestions. Thanks again for everything and I’ll let you all know when I have the next update!
Feedback that would be especially helpful:
General spelling, spacing, capitalization, or other grammatical issues
Any sections repeated? Other things that you think may be coding errors?
Any issues with pronouns or the gender of the characters?
Being able to flirt with characters your MC is not interested in (e.g. being able to flirt with Natasha when you indicated you MC was only interested in men in ch 1)
Continuity issues (e.g. attitude about OFNA incorrect, the characters mentioning things that never happened to you, etc.)
Any confusing sections? Any points where you weren’t sure where your character was or who they were talking to?
Any important options/reactions/questions you felt were missing or times when your MC couldn’t do what they wanted to (within reason)?
Pacing issues? Did any sections feel too rushed or too slow? Did you die of boredom?
Wellcome back! Good chapter with more creepy stuf great! Pacing was great and I didn’t notice any bug.It’s pretty late for me and I’m too tired to give a better reviews but that it was great and I will wait eagerly for the next update
Simon(e) is an absolute lad.
), but I have a piece of critique.