OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP - Updated 5/10/21 - on hiatus for August)

This is super cool so far and I’m totally invested in the mystery! Also, birds. Birds are cool and I’ve always wanted a magic bird.

Thanks for sharing this with us!

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I love this! You are very good at keeping reader in suspense. And oh bird! I played two times and was very glad to see behavior differences of our bird companion.
Wish you luck!

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i played this a couple of days ago and forgot to comment but heather, omg i’m in love. your writing style is so easy to follow and the whole cult/magic/familar concept is so much fun. i’m already fixtated on elliot and cannot wait to get more of him. good luck with the update <3

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Elliot; alright kid time to go to camp creepy bird cult
MC; yeah no not going unless you drag me there
Elliot: seeing as how you’re 5’2 I don’t see the problem
MC: ——_____——-

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Okay, I think I’ve found yet another WIP I’m obsessed with. Definitely following this development. (Also, Simon: I love you.)

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Hello, forum friends! Just wanted to update everyone that I am planning to post the next chapter this weekend, likely Sunday (assuming dashingdon traffic is back to normal by then :eyes:)

Sorry I am about a month late, I promise it’s killing me. Unfortunately, I work in consulting and my projects got a little out of control for the last few months. Something got unblinded a lot sooner than I was anticipating and once that happens we go go go until the project’s done. Can’t promise that it won’t ever happen again during the writing process, but I just wanted to let you all know what was up with the delay!

Talk to you this weekend! <3

EDIT: Forgot to add that I made a public pinterest board, if anyone’s into that :sparkles:


me irl

Simon/Simone definitely seem to be winning some fans lately! I think I’m going to do a poll in a few chapters because I am deeply curious… :eyes:

pls stop I will cry :sob: also everyone check out When Twilight Strikes because it’s mad good

I’m glad this was fun! I was hoping it will add a little more fun to replays and help make the familiar choice more meaningful

Don’t we all? Where’s my magic bird and cult who will pay my rent??? :triumph:

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Aaah I’m so happy about the upcoming update!
But don’t worry too much, I think everyone here understands real life is a thing and it often interferes with writing (or any form of creative activity).
Still hyped though :rofl:

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I recently played this demo and it has become one of my favourite WIPs. It is good to know it is going to be updated soon, because I certainly enjoyed it and am glad there is more to come.

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I dont think anyone remembers or cares but i decided to redo my drawing of my mc. I shared a drawing of her when the thread was young


Anyway she still looks like she’ll beat you up for breathing the wrong way while the bird cheers on lol

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Chapter 5 added to demo! | May 10th, 2021 :tada:

Hi, bird people. A few hours late, but I’ve added the first draft for chapter 5 to the demo! It’s a pretty short one, but we’ve finally gotten through the first “act” of the story. We’re in it now, whether your initiate likes it or not! I hope you all enjoy the new chapter, but sadly any save files will be broken because I added additional variables.

The good news is we may now have the potential for “rivalmances” with certain ROs later on if you’re holding a grudge against them for the way you got to OFNA. But, more importantly, I’ll be able to track if you really hate a certain character going forward.

I have edited the demo on dashingdon to add chapter five! Features:

  • Additional 15k words for a new total word count of 53k (~28k per playthrough)
  • Set your initiate’s height so you can tower over everyone (or be towered over)
  • Confront Elliot
  • Spooky cult secret society induction
  • A heart-to-heart with someone unexpected

Please fill out this survey after you finish the chapter! I need specific feedback on stats : https://forms.gle/wDztGvPyDrsTDU9A9

Let me know either here or on tumblr if you find any bugs/typos/general issues or suggestions. (Is the pacing whack? I’m constantly stressed out about pacing). This is a first draft, I will make an edit in about a week or so.

Feedback that would be especially helpful:
  • Any issues with pronouns or the gender of the characters?
  • General spelling, spacing, capitalization, or other grammatical issues
  • Being able to flirt with characters you indicated your MC was not interested in (e.g. being able to flirt with Natasha when you indicated you MC was only interested in men in chapter one)
  • Continuity issues (e.g. attitude about OFNA incorrect, not remembering that you were/weren’t kidnapped by Elliot, having already met Simon/Simone or not, etc.)
  • Any confusing sections? Any points where you weren’t sure where your character was or who they were talking to?
  • Any important options/reactions/questions you felt were missing?
  • Pacing issues? Did any sections feel too rushed or too slow? Did you die of boredom?
  • FEEDBACK ON NOT BEING ABLE TO RESIST THE SITUATION ENOUGH OR BE MAD IS ALWAYS HELPFUL (within reason, I will not be adding an option to go totally insane on them and completely derail the story)
ALSO, I posted this on tumblr for the vibes and thought I would share it here too:

Thanks again for all the patience and I’ll let you all know when I have the next update! :owl:

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I started a save file and I got this . Is there a problem with save files

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Yes, everyone will need to start fresh. Sorry!

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I finished the new chapter and I absolutely loved it. Things are about to hit the fan

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I loved the induction scene! Thing are getting weird and I can’t wait to explore the Cult further! :slight_smile:
Big fan! <3

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I honestly don’t know why I’ve postponed this WIP for so long. It’s really good! The pacing is on spot, characters are introduced in the way that you remember and differentiate them, story is interesting and choices are varying. Really good job.
Also, BIRDS. Love them and also it is a rare sight - cult based around them. If I had a choice I would have picked a grey shrike…
Subscribed on Tumbler, will check out next updates.

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A ton of people have mentioned shrikes. I’ve actually never heard of them before, but they are cool/creepy little birds for sure!
Thanks for reading, I’m glad you liked the story so far! <3

I hope you all will like what’s to come :eyes: I’m really excited to see what everyone thinks of the plot once it gets going! Thanks for reading <3

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I mean look at this fluffy psycho!

vid with subs

https://youtu.be/N1J5kKiiTxA

I will probably walkthrough a few times, since you’ve made a variety of choice, actually.

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Heey! Just played the update, and it was great!
The right amount of creepyness AND cute birds :rofl:

I don’t have much useful general insight, so I go over and list the various errors or doubts/suggestions I may have!

About Beau:

This is something I have already noticed the first time around, but it weirded me out again so I feel like it’s better to mention it… The name Beau Cabot, in French, means “beautiful dog/cur”, which is an extremely weird thing. If you don’t want that yet don’t want to make major changes, I would suggest spelling Cabot as Cabott? Not only it looks differently, but it also indicates more clearly to a French speaking person that you actually say the T out loud, which in turn means the word now also sounds different from the dog / cur one. Now, of course, the issue is only there for the male version of the character. Cabot alone as a last name is fine, it sounds weird with Beau because both words have a meaning in French, and can be used together in a meaningful way.
Now obviously, that’s only a suggestion since you may have not been aware of that meaning in French. If you’re okay with that, then that’s fine!

In chapter 4:

After meeting Simon outside, there’s that part (once he breaks the clock):
“The two of you run up the staircase, holding in the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.”
While it’s fine in my playthrough, I was thinking that a Mellow tending MC would rather be annoyed by being dragged like that, instead of laughing / having fun.

In chapter 5, when MC is talking with Elliot:

Elliot tells MC (more or less) why did he act as he did with Simon (my MC came willingly). But the only option that allows to forgive his actions is simply nodding. It would be nice to be actually able to say something, actively express understanding, or anything more “reactive”, really. Basically, I feel like an excitable character should be able to forgive too while staying in tune with their less mellow demeanor.

After selecting MC's height:

With the blue jay as familiar, it says: “The The vibrant bird looks you up and down in a quick motion and then lets out a loud squawk.”
“The” is repeated.
From what I see in the code, the blackbird and chickadee probably have the same issue.

When Jeremy, Beau and Simon are dicussing the original story:

At first Jeremy says: “But it was a wolf that attacked the bird.”
Simon says it was a fox, and Beau questions if wolves even eat birds.
Then Jeremy adds: “I’m pretty sure it was a fox, but—Tasha!”
He should have said “wolf”, right? Since that’s the whole argument.

As Simon starts arguing that he won't join:

Greystone says “We will do the ceremony will happen now,”.
The sentence is weird. It feels like it should either be “We will do the ceremony” or “The ceremony will happen now”, but not both?

When talking with Tasha on the porch:

At some point there is that line:
Nodding, you give her a wary look. “You basically broke into my apartment. Plus, you tried to confuse me with your empathy thing.”

While the empathy thing is true, they never broke into the appartment, MC let them in. And well, he did so at the first opportunity, once they told him they can tell him about the bird. So really, it’s strange he considers they broke in, especially considering he has been fully accepting. And extremely trusting, too!
I mean, certainly, if MC had refused letting them in, they would have found another way, but considering that didn’t happen, my MC doesn’t have any reason for considering they broke into his apartment in any way.

After Natasha's warning:

I’ve noticed while looking at the code that thinking the situation is more than fine grants less “accepting” percentage than planing to cooperate, which is a bit strange, since it is exactly that - MC is being fully acceptant.

I think that’s it! Man I love this story and I’m hyped for more!

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OOF I did not know Cabot had a French meaning. Yup, definitely going to change that asap thank you so much. Are you French speaking? Would Cabott be different enough to differentiate or do you think the weirdness is still there?
Thanks so, so much for bringing this up. B is definitely getting a surname change now.

That’s a good point, maybe I will temper the reaction there or adjust it for certain stats.

Yes, this was a dumb one that I already fixed in a sneaky update. Thank you.

This is a good point, I will change that to something like “pushed your way in.” They definitely didn’t break in for all playthroughs.

This was also a mistake :see_no_evil: I’ve fixed it going forward.

Thanks so much for all the feedback again! It’s very helpful :blush:

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Yup! One of my two mother languages!

Yes, both Cabott or Cabbot would be fine, as both make it obvious it’s not a French word. I have suggested Cabott over Cabbot because it’s the one I feel would most imply you say the T out loud, which wouldn’t have that connotation anymore (as opposed to Cabbot where a French speaking person could still be tempted to mute the T, thus making it sound like the dog meaning, even if it wouldn’t be spelled that way).

And you’re welcome! Glad it was helpful!
Also completed the survey, of course!

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