Tbh, I picked the black-capped chickadee just because of how round it looked lmao
Yeah but have you seen these wings?
Wow, that was really really cool!
I didn’t really know what to expect when I got into it, but I don’t regret trying it out. Also, it’s nice that we had a fair amount of content in order to get a good feel on the game. I can’t wait for future updates.
I have two little things that bothered me - these are not errors by any means, just elements I felt a bit bothered by.
When the MC’s aunt comes and tries to tell them not to join the OFNA, the three options are:
- “I think I’d have better luck trying to talk them out of it.”
- “I could do some research. Maybe find some kind of loophole.”
- “Just like you taught me, right?”
I think it would make sense to have an option to say that the offer seemed interesting or something like that. As it is, all three options force you to agree with her in one way or another.
And, the other one…
I don’t like the Excitable/Mellow stat - in these games I prefer to lean one way or the other in a clear way, but this stat makes it so I switch from one to the other all the time. I want my MC to be open-minded, friendly, enthusiastic and curious etc, which often makes the Excitable stat go up, but if he’s cautious, accepting of things and doesn’t get mad with people (which is in line with the fact he’s also friendly), then Mellow goes up.
These two little details put aside, I have really nothing to say! I love it!
Right? XD So cuteee
Like a panda bird or penguin
Also the personality >v<
So nervous, in need of comfort and assurance
And so sweet too, leaning against MC’s leg
Chickadee looking like the angel that will save MC from eternal boredom/monotony
Also am I the only one being reminded of Regular Show because of Mordecai?XD
You could also see it as MC assuring the aunt/ showing what MC will do of things did go wrong? (Since the three options either raises Charisma, Knowledge or Physical)
But that’s just a personal take on it
Yeah, I know that it’s there to raise the stats, but what doesn’t sit with me is that it forces the MC to be insincere even if you play them as very honest.
Edit: maybe if the prompt said something like that, literally - that no matter what the MC thinks about that, they want to reassure heir aunt. It would be enough, because it leaves to the player’s interpretation if they truly think that or not. Still frustrating to not being able to be honest, with that solution, though.
What if after the selection
If MC’s stat is on accepting side,
MC will also say “I’ll probably still join OFNA though but if things did go wrong (insert the earlier choice/skill related to that choice??)”
Edit: That is a great solution too XD
It really depends on what @ofna will choose to do about it
Either way, I’m alright with it
That is one solution, yeah.
As I said in my edit, I don’t really mind the three choices per se, as long the game makes it clear the MC says that to reassure their aunt and leaves to the players interpretation if they really think so. Still makes me frustrated about not being sincere though.
Your solution would be the best, but requires more work.
Hi, thanks for reading and I’m glad you liked the game so far! And thanks for all the feedback <3
As @WhoAmI said, the choice is mainly there to set skills for your character. So, that fourth option wouldn’t work.
I viewed the dialogue there as more of a banter thing with your Aunt rather than lying to reassure her or being against joining. You say that you could do this or you would have better luck doing that, not necessarily that it’s your plan. It’s definitely not meant to feel insincere and Drew is not actually expecting you to do the thing you say.
But if it feels weird, maybe I’ll add a line like “It’s probably best to play along with her for now.” Thanks for the suggestion! I added this section to my list of long-term changes. I’ll take another look at it before I finish the beta.
Thank you for the view point, but full disclosure I’m probably going to leave this stat in. If you’re in the middle, that just means that your MC is a normal human and that neither being overly excitable nor super chill are defining characteristics for them. And your MC may be in the middle, but others’ MCs are either Excitable or Mellow. I wouldn’t want to take the trait away from MCs like that.
I think opposing stats work best when being in the middle is an option that is reflected in the text. Plus, this stat is actually going to be super useful for me going forward because I’ll use either low-middle-high Excitable to code in how an MC reacts in certain places. It will help me to keep the dialogue moving without an excessive number of choices and also let me write a reaction that generally corresponds with how the MC usually acts. So, I will probably leave it in
Ah, if you make actual text flavor that reflects the MC being in the middle range, then I don’t mind at all!
The reason why I hate being in the middle and swaying from one side to the other is because in a lot of games, you have flavor text for being one or the other. And that means if I sway, my MC changes personality all the time.
Basically, I don’t mind the fact of being in the middle per se, but the fact it affects my MC in a weird way.
But with what you’re planning, I think it’s lovely! Thanks for explaining!
I wanted to update all the forum people that March is not happening for the chapter. I had some personal things going on this month and was only able to write one or two (or zero) nights a week. The good news is that’s over now and I should be able to get back to my normal schedule! But chapter five won’t be out this month.
The chapter is currently sitting at ~10k words and roughly have of them have been edited and playtested. I am definitely over the halfway point for the chapter.
My tentative new target is the Week of April 5th - April 9th. For those who don’t know, I post an update every Sunday night under this tag on my tumblr. Feel free to check there if you’re looking for more frequent news, I don’t want to unecessarily spam the forum post. Thanks for your patience, everyone!
This is super cool so far and I’m totally invested in the mystery! Also, birds. Birds are cool and I’ve always wanted a magic bird.
Thanks for sharing this with us!
I love this! You are very good at keeping reader in suspense. And oh bird! I played two times and was very glad to see behavior differences of our bird companion.
Wish you luck!
i played this a couple of days ago and forgot to comment but heather, omg i’m in love. your writing style is so easy to follow and the whole cult/magic/familar concept is so much fun. i’m already fixtated on elliot and cannot wait to get more of him. good luck with the update <3
Elliot; alright kid time to go to camp creepy bird cult
MC; yeah no not going unless you drag me there
Elliot: seeing as how you’re 5’2 I don’t see the problem
Okay, I think I’ve found yet another WIP I’m obsessed with. Definitely following this development. (Also, Simon: I love you.)
Hello, forum friends! Just wanted to update everyone that I am planning to post the next chapter this weekend, likely Sunday (assuming dashingdon traffic is back to normal by then )
Sorry I am about a month late, I promise it’s killing me. Unfortunately, I work in consulting and my projects got a little out of control for the last few months. Something got unblinded a lot sooner than I was anticipating and once that happens we go go go until the project’s done. Can’t promise that it won’t ever happen again during the writing process, but I just wanted to let you all know what was up with the delay!
Talk to you this weekend! <3
EDIT: Forgot to add that I made a public pinterest board, if anyone’s into that
Simon/Simone definitely seem to be winning some fans lately! I think I’m going to do a poll in a few chapters because I am deeply curious…
pls stop I will cry also everyone check out When Twilight Strikes because it’s mad good
I’m glad this was fun! I was hoping it will add a little more fun to replays and help make the familiar choice more meaningful
Don’t we all? Where’s my magic bird and cult who will pay my rent???
Aaah I’m so happy about the upcoming update!
But don’t worry too much, I think everyone here understands real life is a thing and it often interferes with writing (or any form of creative activity).
Still hyped though
I recently played this demo and it has become one of my favourite WIPs. It is good to know it is going to be updated soon, because I certainly enjoyed it and am glad there is more to come.
I dont think anyone remembers or cares but i decided to redo my drawing of my mc. I shared a drawing of her when the thread was young
Anyway she still looks like she’ll beat you up for breathing the wrong way while the bird cheers on lol
Hi, bird people. A few hours late, but I’ve added the first draft for chapter 5 to the demo! It’s a pretty short one, but we’ve finally gotten through the first “act” of the story. We’re in it now, whether your initiate likes it or not! I hope you all enjoy the new chapter, but sadly any save files will be broken because I added additional variables.
The good news is we may now have the potential for “rivalmances” with certain ROs later on if you’re holding a grudge against them for the way you got to OFNA. But, more importantly, I’ll be able to track if you really hate a certain character going forward.
I have edited the demo on dashingdon to add chapter five! Features:
- Additional 15k words for a new total word count of 53k (~28k per playthrough)
- Set your initiate’s height so you can tower over everyone (or be towered over)
- Confront Elliot
cultsecret society induction
- A heart-to-heart with someone unexpected
Please fill out this survey after you finish the chapter! I need specific feedback on stats : https://forms.gle/wDztGvPyDrsTDU9A9
Let me know either here or on tumblr if you find any bugs/typos/general issues or suggestions. (Is the pacing whack? I’m constantly stressed out about pacing). This is a first draft, I will make an edit in about a week or so.
Feedback that would be especially helpful:
- Any issues with pronouns or the gender of the characters?
- General spelling, spacing, capitalization, or other grammatical issues
- Being able to flirt with characters you indicated your MC was not interested in (e.g. being able to flirt with Natasha when you indicated you MC was only interested in men in chapter one)
- Continuity issues (e.g. attitude about OFNA incorrect, not remembering that you were/weren’t kidnapped by Elliot, having already met Simon/Simone or not, etc.)
- Any confusing sections? Any points where you weren’t sure where your character was or who they were talking to?
- Any important options/reactions/questions you felt were missing?
- Pacing issues? Did any sections feel too rushed or too slow? Did you die of boredom?
- FEEDBACK ON NOT BEING ABLE TO RESIST THE SITUATION ENOUGH OR BE MAD IS ALWAYS HELPFUL (within reason, I will not be adding an option to go totally insane on them and completely derail the story)
Thanks again for all the patience and I’ll let you all know when I have the next update!