Obsolete Stars (WIP)

Realistically, if humanity grew up with magic that can change your body, trans, queerness and being poc wouldn’t be a huge deal, BCS you can just make your appearance to whatever you feel most comfortable in.
There are practically no actual set beauty standards in this world, because it is so hard to pick out a specific trait and be elitist about it, when you can change your height, weight, hair color, sex, everything basically.

So there will be no trans-/queer- and/or xenophobia

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Thank you so much! I’m very excited and happy that you and everyone else seems to be enjoying it, if you find coding errors and misspelling, feel free to send them to me, i am ESL so i might still slip up here and there

Well your use of grammar and syntax suggest differently. When I get some more romance stories under my belt I hope to give more constructive feedback. Keep being Bold!

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Update 20/May 2023

Oh no, what is this, an update?

Chapter 1 should be completed so far.
Well what are the perks of this chapter?

I’d say perhaps some funny bullying of small people, maybe a bit of mud in your face. Maybe meeting some people. Who knows? (I do, but you have to figure it out yourself.)

As always, if you see random code or run into an error, please yell at me. Same goes for grammar and spelling. Just bully me into a day 1 hot fix update.

How many words? Only the gods know.

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@moderators
Hi, im very sorry to bother, but i can’t seem to be able to edit my post, i looked into a few other posts that had the same problem, and they all said to @ the moderation team so that someone could iirc increase the amount of time that ill be able to edit it? it would be very nice if someone could help me. thank you so much.

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No problem at all! It’s an issue with the forum software - I’ve made your first post a wiki so you can edit as you wish.

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thank you so much!

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Hi I love the story so far and Tarek has my heart already. I also found a few issues.

Summary




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Thanks! I am very happy you enjoyed the demo so far.
The issues will be fixed with the next update

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I forgot I could go to settings to turn off touch adverse and basically restarted, so I haven’t finished the first chapter yet but, based off the character descriptions I have a feeling Sammy, Sasch or Tarek will end up being my favorites. Especially Sasch or Tarek since their personality types fit what I usually have my MCs go for in IFs.


The only thing throwing me off (which already says may change) is the Stats. Obviously the ones like Hot, cool, sweet and spicy are a given; It’s kinda easy to interpret what they mean. Especially since people actually use those words in real life to describe people and their behavior or attitudes.

But the ones labeled with a specific taste like Ranch, Sour cream, Umami…I’ll be honest I don’t get what they stand for. Like, at all. (including the Butter, well-done and rare stat)

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I’m very happy you enjoyed it so far, there will be a poly option between Tarek and Sammy down the line if u can’t seem to chose just one… Just saying.

I actually made the stats like that on purpose, they are keeping track of specific behavior. They do have some influence later on, mainly as flavor text, but the game will be roleplay focused, so it’s not like you will stat fail because your umami is too high. Or people think you are acting suspicious/ooc.

Don’t let it bother you too much, it’s mainly meant as a joke, since they don’t have much impact on the story besides occasional flavor text. Also, i made them like that BCS I myself tend to obsess over stats, and having them rather obscure/meaningless words, takes off IMO a lot of the stress I or others otherwise would have, which would take away from the fun of roleplaying however you think you/your character would react in a certain way.

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Ah. I chuckled when I saw them, but also assumed they were placeholders for stats you hadn’t decided on yet. I’m kind of happy to hear they’ll stay as they are.

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Chichi…that reminds me of a wonderful story that taught me that very lesson as a child. When the Sneetches could change their belly stars whenever they wanted, it made any differences fade away. It made them not really matter anymore. There actually will be a time, likely, when people can change anything they want about themselves. For now, magic is a great place to tackle that topic. Gosh, I think fantasy is a great genre to tackle tough topics because it gives a certain distance from the real thing that allows for more open intake…so to speak. I like your philosophies and I will have to read on. I think I secretly do like Romance…something, that grows on me as I get older. Good Luck!

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I’m very glad to hear that you enjoy and agree with my philosophy regarding magic and acceptance. I also hope that the romances i have planned you will find enjoyable and help you appreciate the romance genre as a whole.

23/May 2023

Tiny-hot fix update

  • spelling errors have been fixed
  • cheat menu has been implemented

The cheat menu has not been thoroughly tested, and there is a possibility to run into errors.

As always, if you see an error, random code or come across spelling/grammar errors, feel free to scream at me.

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24/May 2023

This update includes the introduction Chapter 2

general Info on Updates

If you wonder why I am bringing out so many parts of a chapter, personally it keeps me more motivated to work in bursts of inspiration, and release those to the public as they come, to have the chance to interact and exchange with readers, which keeps me more motivated to keep working, rather than feel like I am slogging away away at a huge update that will leave me very exhausted in the end.

As always, if you see random code, spelling errors, or just lines of code, bully me into a day 1 hot-fix update.

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Ok Chichi…I read further along:

I will start with a small bit of code that might help but you don’t need it…your choice. If you want to make sure someone’s name is capitalized, you can put an exclamation after the dollar sign to ensure that: $!{name}. all caps: $!!{name}. You are in total control of that if you want to be. Ok moving on…

I love this: “With years of being locked away from the world by walls of what you once used to call your home, cutting you away from everyone in the capital.”

This is poetry to me, very nice word flow. I ripple along, building and building, then the sentence pressure is released. Ok, moving on…

““Takishcha, I order you to answer me.”, you finally say.”

So, there are many ways to fix this dialogue, and perhaps both of us should make sure we have quotations and using quotes understood but you could do this:

“Takishcha, I order you to answer me.” You finally say something. Or

“Takishcha, I order you to answer me.” You finally speak.

But, I feel like I was yelling in the scene…I was frustrated that Taki did not tell me important information and my head was throbbing and i was almost in tears…so this is what I might say to Taki:

“Takishcha, I order you to answer me!” Now maybe just describe your face…like… “Your face reddens with anger.” or whatever.

Chichi, I love the story and like your writing style. As I read along things got less organized, not with the words but how they are put on the page…like paragraphs and spacing out dialogue between two people. I don’t know how you got the next page button to be all scratched out…that was cool. I likely am easily amazed by those things ha ha. Thankyou for writing!

Thanks for reading!

I’m very aware of this line of code, but thanks for pointing it out anyway! I chose not to use that, simply BCS it is a lot of work down the line, when i can just have the player correctly write their name. Since all names capitalized anyway.

I’m very happy that the scene was so emotional to you, but I hadn’t meant for it to be purely a scene on anger. The mc is very frustrated, but they are also talking to the only friend they’ve ever known, the only person who had stayed with them. You are frustrated, but you also don’t want to lose someone close to you. The mc is also used to TK’s personality of hiding things and stoicism.
Down the line there will be actual scenes where you are allowed to shout at TK and be very angry.

I’m sorry to hear this, I’ve been having issues with the formatting, and this is just a temporary solution to make it somewhat more readable than what it was originally, I’m working on fixing it, however.

hmmm, yes, I suppose I do not know the mc very well yet. Good point; but, perhaps some subtle description indicating hidden irritation…as I think one of my next choices could be pre-crying, which does indicate some emotional stuff…I don’t know…if you like it the way it is, you should keep it. On a side note, I have found many writers avoid using exclamation points in their writing and when writing emails or anything really aside from birthday cards. It is often looked at like yelling…but it really is much more nuanced than that. all caps is YELLING for real. An exclamation just indicates emotional emphasis, at least, in my eyes. Context also changes its meaning. Anyhow, enough about freeing the exclamation mark ha ha. I Will continue to read on and learn more about the characters. Happy writing!

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Heya! Hope you dont mind but you’re spelling Takischa wrong, you keep putting an “shch” when it’s “sch” near the end.
I hope this doesnt come off rude or anyting! Have a nice day!

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