Choosing nicknames for MC and Drew:
MC: Shepard
Drew: Vakarian
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Nice setting. Almost cried even if it’s just a demo:(
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I’ll have to watch that movie to know about Veronica’s personality, but if you mean which RO is the most down with commiting crimes/what MC plans, I thiiiiiiiink it might be Kiyo 
“Drew” is Drew’s actual nickname! Their full name is either Audrey, Andrew or Andrea, but they think it sounds too formal. Also, Drew would totally nickname the MC “Sparker,” but I’m not sure about implementing it in-game 
Laughing maniacally can’t be much better, least if you have people in the basement 
Eddie will try to get the MC to therapy (for their grief, poor aunt has no idea what they truly have in mind), and I have planned a couple of scenes (and maybe different therapists, we will see about that), but there’s the option to not go. After tthe MC skips the first couple of sessions, Eddie won’t push the issue further, believing that the MC will go when they are ready. She trusts the MC too much.
Ah, yeah, I see what you mean! Alrighty then, we will see how everything works out in the end 
Aww, thank you! Do I seem like a mean person if I say that was my intention? 
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So here’s a macabre question. There’s probably going to be a few “Wins” like getting them arrested or dead. But will there be any MC willingly dies endings? I can imagine a few scenarios like Damaged from Heathers, Gran Torino’s ending with us instead of Clint Eastwood, Angela Oroscoro walking up the flaming stairs in Silent Hill 2, etc. I can even imagine us sitting in the burning school with Drew’s “Ghost” ( Hallucination) as we die. Or bleeding out on the roof laying on our back with Drew beside us if there was a flashback earlier to laying under the stars talking a bittersweet callback.
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Haven’t finished reading what’s available yet but there’s some gender mismatch during the nightmare and many cases of getting English syntax backwards (a big clue that a writer isn’t native English). This would be things like “is it” instead of “it is” and using present instead of past tense - so “Why did she do thing” instead of “Why she did thing”.
I’m not taking notes of errors at the moment but I’m very tempted to pull the source files from dashingdon, edit them all and send them to you.
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That’s a spoiler-y question, but yeah, there are a couple. Some of them are on a bittersweet tone, whereas a couple are rather tragic. There are also bad ends where you don’t necessarily die, and even a good ending, with a long epilogue 
Ah, yeah… I should go back and make edits, but I’ve decided I’ll do that once I’m half-way through, or I’ll take forever to write chapter 2.
After two months of almost no writing (except the snippet), I’m slowly getting back on track! 
I still have a lot to do and the update will take a while, but I think I’m nearing the final draft of the prologue and Chapter 1 (minus editing). I want to finish them and Chapter 2, so please bear with me 
Here’s a snippet of the things to come 
I hope you have a nice day!
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Oh gosh, what a mood! Like, I hate it when I listen to a song once and it gets stuck in my head for the rest of the week! And the worst part is that I don’t even know the name of the song, auughhh.
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What a story my friend so absolutely wonderful . I absolutely love it.
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That will be absolutely epic . I certainly will choose this ending for my MC.
From the prologue “all of them are trained and must know that bullets come from the cannon”. You might want to change it barrel, muzzle would work too. Anything but cannon… Not to sound like a jerk but I couldn’t stop thinking about it while reading the game.
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Of course, don’t worry! English isn’t my first language, so there will be times I’ll use the wrong words or make awkard senteces; I really appreciate all the help I get from you guys! If I use words that sound off or are inaccurate, I want people to tell me, don’t feel afraid to do so
Progress is slow, but I’m getting there. It’s hard to get back on track, but it’s something! I’ve also done some groundwork for the MC’s looks in the Stats’ page, prepared to keep track of the MC’s actual looks AND possible changes that might happen later on (like dyeing their hair or wearing contact lenses). Here’s a bit of what the code looks like 
*if (hair_length = 0)
Your hair is shaved, but a bit of @{(dye_color = "") ${hair_color}|${dye_color}} buzz is starting to grow already,
*if (hair_texture = curly) or (hair_texture = "coiled")
trying to curl and
*if (hair_length > 0)
Your hair is @{(dye_color = "") ${hair_color}|${dye_color}} and @{( false_style = "") ${hair_texture}|${false_style}},
*if (hair_length = 1)
@{(hair_length = 1) cut|curling} around your ears,
*if (hair_length > 1)
reaching
*if (hair_length = 2)
your chin,
*if (hair_length = 3)
your shoulders,
*if (hair_length = 4)
your shoulder-blades,
*if (hair_length = 5)
past waist,
matching your @{ (contact_color ="") ${eye_color}|${contact_color}} eyes.
*if (contact_color != "")
It's not your actual coloring, thought; you're currently wearing ${contact_color} contact
*if (dye_color != "")
lenses and dyed your hair: you were originally
*if (hair_color = "pale blond") or ("honey blond")
@{male blond|blonde}.
*if (hair_color = "light brown") or ("brunette")
brunette.
*if (hair_color = "red") or ("auburn")
a red-head.
*if (hair_color = "black")
dark haired.
*if (dye_color = ""
lenses.
*if (contact_color = "")
@{(commoncolor) Naturally, this|This} isn't your natural @{(commoncolor) hair;|hair coloring, though;} you were originally
*if (hair_color = "pale blond") or ("honey blond")
@{male blond|blonde}.
*if (hair_color = "light brown") or ("brunette")
brunette.
*if (hair_color = "red") or ("auburn")
a red-head.
*if (hair_color = "black")
dark haired. Picking your MC’s appearance is optional, but I don’t know if I should make the choice obvious with a [CHOOSE YOUR APPEARANCE] or if it will be enough if I imply it with “I take a good look at my reflection.” 
Also, I’ve been wroking a special scene that will make it to the demo, but there’s a choice that might seem kinda disturbing to some; nothing BIG, nor gory (only mentions of blood), the kind of choice that might make the readers wonder (and worry) about the MC’s mental condition. Also, there will be times where something gross-ish (after an explicit option, so not everyone will see) migh be avalaible, kinda gritty like, but I don’t think they are enough to into the adult section. What are your thoughts?
I hope you’re having a good day! 
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I doubt many will be unwilling to have something like your implying. Just in general people here seem to always be fine with that, even more so if there’s an option for explicitness like you say.
And, having read through a decent amount of the replies here, I don’t think there are many making a wonderful happy perfectly-okay MC.
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This boils down to personal taste but for me having the obvious option breaks the immersion so much. I like games where the option to choose the MC’s appearance comes naturally, like it’s not forced or anything. As if it’s a part of the story.
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I cried while reading this work…
Ok that it. I will KILL them for absolute vengeance. Oh wait even better. Can I burn the whole school? HOW dare they did to my poor baby ANDREW. I WILL KILL. 
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Yeah, I know that it would be okay-ish with you guys, but I’m still at that point where I’m trying to find/balance how explicit things are going to get. Sometimes it’s a fine line between just shock-value and tone, and I would like to avoid the former
I also like that option more, but I don’t want to risk people making the wrong choice by accident/because I didn’t make it clear enough 
I think I’ll try first the subtle option first, and depending on what you guys say, leave it/change it as necessary
Yep, burning St. Mary’s High School is an option
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It’s like horror movies putting in jump scares and extremely gory scenes, it’s cheap and boring. Unless it adds more to the story or drives the plot forward, it’s gonna be unnecessary. I wouldn’t have a problem with it because I’m such a sucker for angst. But if it’s just there for the sake of being there, then I won’t enjoy it as much. That’s just my opinion on the matter.
In my experience I’ve never really chosen the wrong option when customization scenes appear? Because it’s very obvious in my opinion. For example, if there’s a line saying: “I look at my reflection…”
And then there’s a bunch of options including different colors of the MC’s eyes/hair/skin/lips/eyebrows/nails/whatever, I will assume it’s the customization part.
Even if you carefully plant it into the story that it’ll seem natural and part of the story the readers will still know it’s the customization part.
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So can we get away with manipulating everybody to follow our goals? Bc avenging my baby Drew and ruining lives is such a bop
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Ok, @Jeruspi but I deadass pictured Yukano (My MC) singing “Bring marshmallows, we’ll make s’mores. We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!” to one of the ROs.
She’s not heartless, just incredibly unhinged after Drew. She confessed. They slept in the same bed, holding hands.
The Yukano in my head would genuinely consider her ‘accomplices’ her ‘friends’ as she would do everything in her power to appeal to their better natures; essentially brainwashing them. But, she’s also self-aware enough that she knows society at-large would disagree and label her a monster even as she tells her ‘friends’ she ‘loves them’.
…anyone else wanna talk about their OC’s? Because now I do.
Yukano Asahina/Mayer
Even with her dearest person departed from the realm of the living, Yukano’s a very Caring person.
She knows what it’s like to hurt. Just knowing that the people that hurt her and Drew are still out there, hurting others, gets her all Emotional.
But don’t think that makes her reckless. No, she’s a very Deliberate young woman.
The school is going to burn, and she’ll be holding the matches.
Her hair is long, and dark as pitch while her skin is a very pale shade; due to isolating herself in her home more often than not. Excluding her eyebags, that is.
She only maintains a healthy figure because of Eddie. Otherwise, she’d look a lot more frail as opposed to her natural, voluptuous appearance.
Her eyes are grey and only really seemed to glimmer with life when she was with Drew. They used to say her eyes seemed more silver than grey; she never told them it was because of them.
While Drew was still alive, she actually tried to take care of her appearance in subtle ways. Maintained a rigorous skincare regime (well, as rigorous as the household budget could allow) to keep her skin as unblemished as possible, just as merciless with her hair (washing it regularly, brushing and combing it daily) and always wearing a sweet scent that she’s forgotten the name of at this point; but those close to her have just learned to associate it with her. She didn’t realise until she confessed, but she wanted him to consider her attractive…
With Drew gone, and nothing but contempt for almost everyone else around her, the darker side she’d kept hypothetical until now begins to rear its ugly head.
What Yukano wants? She gets. She’s prone to manipulation, but her compassion makes it hard for her to justify the more forceful kind. Hers is much more insidious in that she seeks to form an empathetic bond with her victims; make them genuinely wish to assist her. She never attempted this before because she had Drew; they were all she needed.
She isn’t the good guy. She knows this. But neither are her targets. Yukano isn’t that oblivious. What she plans is wrong, and awful, and would likely break Drew’s heart. But, it’s all she has. If she doesn’t do this, this anger and pain will just fester and roil until she just… lets go. At least this way, she’s taking those f^ckers down with her. She wouldn’t dare blame Drew for this. Everything will be her fault. She already believes it is.
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Yeah, if you play your cards right, you can get away with everything, murder included
@xXOtakuKonekoXx thank you for sharing, Yukano sounds like a cinmamon roll (who can totally kill you) 
How have you been doing? I’ve been writing a lot on my end, I currently have 8k words of new content and I’m far from done! Not sure how big will be the next update, but I would first say that maybe around 15k, perhaps 20k.
Let’s see what I have planned:
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The article rewritten by @SuperNova to be more accurate to news-style writing! You’ve helped me a lot, thank you!
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There will be a good deal of angst, llike this bit here:
Drew is leaning against the wall heavily, a deep cut on their eyebrow bleeding profusely over their face and eyes, staining their white hoodie. Their hands rest on the wall, as if looking for leverage, and they look so out of it you fear they’re going to blackout.
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I’m halway done with the customization, with choices ranging from skin tone, eye color (and a little surprise there), hair color, length and style, along with the option to skip it all.
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People we don’t know will make appear in a scene.
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Part of Chapter 1 (ideally half of it, but you never know).
I hope you have a good day! Take care of yourselves and stay healthy!
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