Nothing left (to burn) [WiP] — July 16 update! (and Tumblr surprise!)

@Lycoris Sure, go ahead and use it. :upside_down_face:

Alright, I guess I’ll save the MC’s diagnosis for later and give people a chance to figure it out.

Instead…

A.) My Nothing Left Mental Imagery of These Characters:

1.) MC - Addie:

That heterochromia did not help with the bullying, however Really Cool it looks.

2.) Drew:
drew

Given just HOW big a blind eye is being turned to Drew being viciously & violently bullied…it’s ridiculously easy to picture him as African American in a racist town, I’m not gonna lie. :sweat_smile:

Black Lives Matter people.

3.) Mary Ann:

This is her in “doll-like” pose, obviously. :grin:

4.) Carter:
carter

5.) Marshall:
marshall

This guy just seems like the perpetual sunglasses even on a cloudy day + vaguely douchey hair type. :laughing:

6.) Bethany:

B.) Other Diagnoses:

1.) Carter: Spineless Sadism Traits

Given his penchant for enjoying violence particularly against those who are weaker than him and can’t fight back, Carter is showing traits of…

Spineless Sadism - Spineless Sadists are cowardly types who are too afraid to act out their sadistic impulses towards those who have the faintest chance of hurting them back. Instead, they seek out ONLY victims who are unable to fight back: small animals, younger siblings, children, and those who are half their size or smaller in general. Many are too afraid of prison to commit murder, but will happily commit intimate partner violence, severe child abuse, animal cruelty, ganging up in mobs against vulnerable minorities, etc. They devalue their victims in their minds as weak, pathetic, and deserving of being hurt - a bit like an EXTREMELY vicious school bully mentality. They defensively hide any of their OWN weaknesses and vulnerabilities at all costs, and try to project an image of strength to others.

As far as I have seen SO FAR, Carter isn’t severe enough a case to merit a diagnosis of full blown Sadistic Personality Disorder. (Long story, but I have observed a few individuals who ARE severe enough to merit that diagnosis, and it is…quite something and very distinctive.) He might prove himself severe enough later on, but as of yet, I can only say he has Spineless Sadism traits.


https://www.quora.com/Whats-the-difference-between-enforcing-sadism-explosive-sadism-spineless-sadism-and-tyrannical-sadism/answer/Vidia-Ree

2.) Marshall: Heavy Narcissistic Fleas

No, really - it’s a thing and that’s what it’s called. :laughing: Having some narcissistic traits you picked up from those around you WITHOUT meeting full NPD criteria is called Narcissistic Fleas. He seems like he likes his admiration and his status heirarchies alright, and seems like he’s a pretty nasty dude, but Marshall also seems more…well, in control of himself and more in the realm of sanity than either Mary Ann or Carter.

His BFF Mary Ann is a Malignant Narcissist, so that’s one place he could have picked up some of those behaviors…buuut he’s also likely to have at least one narcissist parent at home. :slightly_smiling_face:

Marshall is capable of a MINIMAL degree of empathy and remorse, even if he doesn’t express it obviously. Don’t believe me? Look at him trying to protect Bethany from getting beaten by Carter…even if he did it while putting down Drew and sounding like an elitist. But elitist and douchey though Marshall sounded, Mary Ann (no empathy whatsoever + sadistic) was just going to let Bethany get beat without lifting a finger. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Was there ever a description of Drew or was it open to us?

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Yeah, there was. I don’t have a female/nb description since I always pick Drew to be a guy, but the male description says he has dark skin, freckles, and a shaved head.

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What a demo! It’s really heart wrenching and I freaking love it. I hope we get to beat the shit out of those damn bullies! Drew is really sweet, she didn’t have to go like that :cry: :cry: Keep up the good work, can’t wait to read more of this!

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Not gonna lie, when the police person showed MC the photo at the start of the story, I got nauseous. That’s how deep the writing pulled me in from the beginning. I’m really excited to see where this goes, especially in finding out more about the “True Drew” instead of the person MC puts on a pedestal.

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Whenever I listen to All I Want by Kodaline, I always remember Drew. Especially the line “But if you loved me, why did you leave me” and while listening to the song, the other night, it reminded me of Drew and I started sobbing. Thank you for your hard work author.

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I love this cog so much :sob: grew so attached to Drew…My god, I usually play my mcs as good, gentle people, but this is the first time I cannot help but want to turn my poor mc into an angry and vengeful mc. So for that alone, bravo, author!

I’ve also felt inspired by your Drew romantic snippet to draw my Hazel and Drew together but in the au you’ve presented in the one-shot fic~

(p.s. Thank you soo much for including heterochromia as a customizable option for the eyes. The descriptions that came with it were also such a nice touch to the narrative!)
:two_hearts: :wink: keep up the superb work!

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That’s very cute!!!>A<

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I like how you think! I won’t say if you got it 100% right or not, let’s hope I can still keep a bit of mistery to the whole story!!

Great pictures! I appreciate it tons when people share how they think the characters look like :star_struck:

Let’s see how Carter turns out as the story progresses and the stakes rise higher, maybe he gets wayyy worse with stress and extreme pressure. And where did Marshall get those pesky, troublesome fleas? Some of the bullies parents may appear, or it might be possible to take a peek into their lives :crystal_ball:

There’s a brief description of Drew at the start of Chapter 1! @Fay has shared the male Drew’s description, but here you go all of them:

For Audrey:

For Andrew:

And for Andrea:

In the prologue there’s a brief mention of them, too, but it only describes a trait or two, if I recall correctly.

Aww, thank you for the kind message!

Thank you for your encouragement! Really, I’m very excited to show you guys Drew as they are, not just from the MC’s perspective, maybe you even get to like them even more! :wink:

The so0ng really fits the story, thank you for telling me, and for trying out the demo!

Oh. My. Gosh. I love it! :heart_eyes: I agree with @Tokiko220, it’s a wonderful drawing, they look so sweet together! I love how gentle their expressions are, the flowers, the detail of your MC’s necklace! Do you mind if I link it in the main post (giving you credit, of course!), or would you rather not?

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@Lycoris I DON’T MIND AT ALL :blush: :smile_cat: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I’m actually very happy and you and the others liked how I depicted them! Your characters are precious and I can’t wait to meet the others as well!
@Tokiko220 Thank you~ :kissing_smiling_eyes:

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Played through it again, I fricking love it! It’s been said a lot of times but you’re really good at writing, at capturing emotions and making the story flow together.

Thingies


Shouldn’t it be ‘something’?

MC with Periwinkle

20200801_093428

Edit) Has it been mentioned what colour eyes Bethany has? Also, are Drew’s curls tight or of the wavy sort?

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Alright guys, time to diagnose the MC!

1.) Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Classic BPD

The MC actually was showing signs of this long before Drew’s death. Idealizing Drew to the extent where they seem to literally think he’s flawless, a strong tendency to think that people they dislike are pure scum with zero redeeming qualities, cutting themselves, a suicide attempt, bouts of extreme anxiety, lots and lots of ORIGINALLY buried anger at those at St. Mary’s. There are signs, between the self harm and blaming themselves for not going to Drew’s rescue when they were having a paralyzing anxiety attack, that the MC has very low self esteem.

AFTER Drew’s death, all of this gets exasterbated. Some MCs are dissociating from their emotions, others are showing exasterbated rapid mood swings - both of which are traits of BPD. Trying to illegally avenge Drew’s death either all on their own or with the help of an equally inexperienced teenage accomplice is impulsive risk-taking behavior to the extreme - they are a teenager with no real knowledge about HOW TO GET AWAY WITH THIS, just pure passionate emotional desire for vengeance.

BPD Traits:
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) or the following:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour coverered in Criterion 5)
[going on a revenge quest once Drew is gone from their lives, possibly saying they’d commit suicide if Drew left them at the beginning]
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
[Drew is highly idealized to an unrealistic extent, the bullies & the reporter are devalued and thought of as absolute vile scum, & the relationship with Drew is…a tad intense given the MC is willing to risk prison to avenge them]

  1. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
    [a bit unclear, but the MC does seem to have very low self esteem]
    4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating) (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour coverered in Criterion 5)
    [breaking and entering, punching reporters in public, making plans to injure bullies, possible future arson, possible future homicide]
    5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour
    [cutting, previous suicide attempt, possibly saying they’d commit suicide if Drew left them at the beginning]
    6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

[the MC goes through intense periods of depression, anxiety, rage, intense love, burning hatred, despair, self-blame, etc.]

  1. Chronic feelings of emptiness
    8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper,constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
    [uhh…this entire story is kicked off by the MC’s intense rage and inability to control it]

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
[refusing to believe Drew’s death is a suicide & insisting he must have been murdered + some MCs dissociate and become disconnected from their emotions temporarily after Drew’s death]

7/9 Traits, The Other 2 Possibly Also True

Type: Classic BPD

BPD involves rage, and a lot of it. Classic BPD is the type of BPD that involves EXTERNALIZING this rage and lashing out at others. (Whereas those with Quiet BPD usually INTERNALIZE their rage and bury it inside.) Given our MC is off on a vindictive spree, I think we can safely say they are externalizing their rage! :laughing:

https://bpdfoundation.org.au/diagnostic-criteria.php

2.) Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) - Psychotic Depression

After Drew’s death, the MC becomes severely depressed & hopeless. That much is abundantly clear. They are basically crushed and feel like they have, well, “nothing left.” This is more than just normal grief, given the lengths the MC is willing to go to due to feeling they have nothing left to live for.

Seeing Drew’s ghost might be actually a real phenommenon that isn’t explainable by science. Buuuut since the neurotypical (NT) population can’t see ghosts, and it’s been mentioned that the ghost may torment the MC…it would be classified as Psychotic Depression if the MC described it in a therapist’s office - mood congruent psychosis that reinforces depression, began ONLY when the person became clinically depressed, and happens ONLY when they are in a severely depressed state.

3.) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - PTSD NOS

Criterion A: stressor (one required)

The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, in the following way(s):

1.) Direct exposure
2.) Witnessing the trauma
3.) Learning that a relative or close friend was exposed to a trauma [Drew’s Murder/Suicide]
4.) Indirect exposure to aversive details of the trauma, usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, medics)

Criterion B: intrusion symptoms (one required)

The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in the following way(s):

1.) Unwanted upsetting memories
2.) Nightmares
3.) Flashbacks
4.) Emotional distress after exposure to traumatic reminders [the bullies]
5.) Physical reactivity after exposure to traumatic reminders [panic attack on sight of the bullies]

Criterion C: avoidance (one required)

Avoidance of trauma-related stimuli after the trauma, in the following way(s):

1.) Trauma-related thoughts or feelings [seeking revenge instead of trying to process their feelings in a “healthy” way]
2.) Trauma-related external reminders

Criterion D: negative alterations in cognitions and mood (two required)

Negative thoughts or feelings that began or worsened after the trauma, in the following way(s):

1.) Inability to recall key features of the trauma
2.) Overly negative thoughts and assumptions about oneself or the world
3.) Exaggerated blame of self or others for causing the trauma
4.) Negative affect
5.) Decreased interest in activities [MC’s focus is becoming slowly consumed by a singular pursuit of revenge - their interest in other activities diminishing]
6.) Feeling isolated
7.) Difficulty experiencing positive affect

Criterion E: alterations in arousal and reactivity

Trauma-related arousal and reactivity that began or worsened after the trauma, in the following way(s):

1.) Irritability or aggression
2.) Risky or destructive behavior
3.) Hypervigilance
4.) Heightened startle reaction
5.) Difficulty concentrating
6.) Difficulty sleeping

https://www.brainline.org/article/dsm-5-criteria-ptsd

Type: PTSD Not Otherwise Specified

Some traumatic events come with ripples that can touch people hours or days after the issue has been resolved. These people might clean up after tornadoes, collect bodies from crime scenes, comfort rape victims, or listen to their loved ones discuss a traumatic event. These people were not direct witnesses, but they can be profoundly touched by the things they experience in the aftermath of the event.

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Im loving the update. You are so talented and i never thought id wanna kill some teenagers , being i have one, but yet here we are. Die teenage scum lol… you have yet again broke my heart , good job. I wanted my mc with anger issues :smiling_imp::smiling_imp:

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The main critique point I have is in one section Where you witness Drew getting bullied, getting a headwound and your character getting their name; faces you with an false choice. You can either go and help, try to call the police or not do anything because your legs have frozen up. I clicked on on the first option but the text I got made my investment in this section irrelevant because what ever I would choose my character would always stand there frozen up not doing anything and just listening to this entire scene where the gang is bullying Drew. It’s heavyhanded drawn out and pushed me atleast, out of the experience because the first two choices are false choices as the character is alawys going to act one way and not have our options have an meaningful impact in this section any way shape or form. Why was there even a choice when we the choice we made didn’t really matter anyway? I get the purpose of the scene, but because of the illusion of choice I was knocked right out of it causing the scene too lose it’s intended impact and be recieved by me as overly long and hamfisted.

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One Thousand Blooms was incredible! Actually your writing is so amazing that I’m now hooked up not not only on Nothing Left to Burn, but also this new game :heart: Good luck with all your work! :blush:

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Concept is mind blowing buddy love the message ur providing through this game. Waiting for future updates.

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Thank you for playing and reporting the typos and mistakes! Also, I remember you did a drawing of Drew, but I’m not sure if I got permission to put it in the main post. Would you like to, or would rather I don? :thinking: You can refuse, don’t worry!

Really fascinating, thank you for the post! What do you guys think, does it fit the MC or not? :upside_down_face:

Haha, thank you for the praise! Don’t worry, you’ll be able to make your MC like that :wink:

I see your point. I’m not very fond of fake choices in general, but they have their uses. In this particular case, it’s more like all choices lead to a fail scene (dropping your phone, courage failing, unable to move from the start), but I want to think they don’t do exactly the same yet lead to the same outcome. Although… yeah, if we sum it up, that’s kind of a fake choice, isn’t it?

Even so, I made it that way because I believe it’s necessary, both narrative wise and game wise. On the one hand, even if the action is null, it’s important for character development, I let the players either at least try to help or totally freeze; on the other hand, it’s important for the story that the MC is unable to do anything. They think they’ve progressed a lot since their time at St. Mary’s, that they are halfway done healing and forgetting, but the truth is a lot uglier. They progressed, yeah, but the path is a loooot longer than they expected, and that scene makes them realize that they are nowhere the middle point, they still fear and freeze and panic when the bullies appear. The illusion of choice is there because it exists in-game, the MC is the first one to fall into that trap.

Except this one issue, what do you recommend to make it less hamfisted and less heavy-handed :thinking:

You’ll make me blush :hugs: Thank you for cheering me on, you’re adorable!

Thank you! I’ll keep working to make it worth your time :grin:

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You’re welcome!

Preferably not. Looking back made me realise how bad it looks ^_^’

I’m currently drawing Drew with long hair, it’s not finished yet but it already looks a bit better than my previous attempt.

Drew with long hair

Such a shame she had to cut it.

Question for science: what colour are Bethany’s eyes?

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If I may add my opinion on the matter, I thought this specific fake choice was very impactful. So I agree with you, it IS important for the MC’s developement.
It was heartbreaking not to be able to do anything, but while the end result is the same anyway, the process of getting there makes a capital change.
I would suggest against changing it, but if people have good ideas you’d like to consider, of course that’s good too!

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Hello! Just created an account here to tell you the author that I absolutely loved your story! Hit all the right places and really made me tear up for the first time in a while while reading! I really look forward to reading this whole story in its entirety haha ^^

Just wanted to ask though, I’ve spotted a couple of grammatical errors/typos as well as a couple of instances where the expressions used were kind of awkward. I know how much effort you have to put in to bring us this story so I just wanted to ask if there is any way I can help especially with small mistakes like these! Is it possible to create a Google Docs for a small group of people with the various scenes so that we have a platform to suggest changes to fix typos etc? If not that’s okay as well!

P.S your story really reminded me of the song “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers
https://youtu.be/Zzyfcys1aLM

My poor heart breaks for the MC and Drew :frowning: Not sure I can even bring myself to pursue any other ROs, will it be an option to not pursue anyone?

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