Nocturnal Aurora, Book 1: Sin of Sloth (WIP: Alpha | Update #1: 12/23/2020)

I have only played the demo once and have seen Kia for a short period of time, “but if anything ever happens to her I’ll kill everyone then myself”.
Joke aside I loved the Demo very much. Thank you dear Author for blessing us with lovely siblings :heart_eyes::heart_eyes:

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I’m sorry I couldn’t help more, but I hope your problems will cease! I’ll take another look in the code and structure in case something about it conflicts with the save plugin.

You have a great day as well. :sparkling_heart:

My deepest thanks for your sweet message! I am glad you liked the demo, and hope that future updates will be similarly appreciated. :smiley:

That reaction for Kia is the best thing I could have hoped for, since that was the intent with both siblings! It may be a silly meme (albeit from an excellent television show), but your use of it here meant a lot. :rofl:

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I agree. When I just want to see my skill and personality stats, to make sure I am going down the path I want to, the constant clicking from page to page makes the experience less enjoyable. Not to sound rude, but it really gets annoying after a while. So please fix it.

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I have switched over to Chrome from Firefox and it seems to be working perfectly now, definitely an interesting bug

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I have applied a very minor update to the demo, by which I drastically reduced the unnecessary number of transitions in the Stat Screen. The new style might look a little rough, but is hopefully easy to follow and use. I trust that will help! :smiley:

Again, I am truly sorry about the inconvenient prior iteration.

ETA: This time, with the save system restored. :stuck_out_tongue:

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Damn it sucks Nagi prefers men also saddened with the whole experience with etc

The romantic opportunities’ preferences are only for flavor! A given RO might be slightly easier or more difficult to romance on the basis of the main character’s gender, but this difference is minimal and will not make or break any sort of check.

Instead, the listed preferences are meant to provide context for past romantic relationships, and the MC’s gender can result in variation for certain romantic conversations.

Nagi can definitely be romanced without artificial difficulty by women and enbies. :smiley:

I’m not sure I follow, unfortunately. Could you please clarify?

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I read a bit of this demo yesterday. To me, it seems there’s a great story jumping around and waving in an attempt to be noticed behind a lot of pretentious and overly complex writing. Combine that with the regular appearance of huge walls of text with nary a choice in sight and it becomes a huge chore to read.

I would suggest serious consideration be given to condensing the story such that huge walls of text and stuff like the very first scene seen are removed.

This is what I mean by very first scene:

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Are there cheats ?

I’ve only read the intro and I’m already into it… God, I love it when writers give details about everything. It makes it clear to me that you really, really thought/think out the characters and the world building.

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And… Yep. I love it.

Your style of writing is fantastic. I need a dictionary for half the words, and I say that as a compliment. Why do you even know what a Schiavona is?

If there is anything negative… I don’t really see the need to have verification on every. Single. Thing. During customization. Though I did enjoy the unique repertoire throughout.

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I love the story, especially interactions between siblings, they are so sweet! :heart_eyes: Definitely bookmarking it. Good luck! :smiley:

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I have applied another minor update, this time removing the original introductory text.

When you start the game, you will have the option to change settings, and this can now be accessed from the Stats Screen at any time.

The long-winded introduction has not been changed, but it can also – and only – be accessed from the Stats Screen at any time.

I hope that makes things more bearable, or at least more readable. :orange_heart:


@moderators I sincerely apologize if this is not the correct way to go about doing this! However, I was wondering if I might humbly request that my first two posts in the thread be changed into wiki posts such that I could edit them? Thank you kindly! :smiley:


To commemorate the season, I will post a “holiday special” in the interactive format when time allows, prior to the next update to the main game. It will be quite short, but hopefully sweet and illustrative. This story will feature an eleven-year-old Pumpkin, a fourteen-year-old Kiara in her first year of college, Kynaston and Domokos as high school seniors, a recently-befriended Nagi as a high school sophomore, a nearly eleven-year-old Izzy, and Aunt Airlia during what might have been the last time she was active and lucid.

This short story might be extraneous fluff given the current Prologue (which will become Chapter 1), but the Prologue to be added will be serious and even dark in tone, so I wanted to offer something lighthearted, as well as a means to introduce Nagi and Dom in-person since they will not be met until Chapter 3. :stuck_out_tongue:

Projection: January 02, 2021 (though hopefully sooner)


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! Whatever you might celebrate, if anything, I hope you and yours are doing well. :sparkling_heart:


Thank you for the feedback! :revolving_hearts:

I very much intend to address your concerns with the next major update. I will break up any walls of text I see and provide more and more consistent types of choices to align with the overhauled personality system. Additionally, I hope to offer more choices in general to improve interaction – including in the flashback fever dreams.

I have already dispensed with the first scene you mentioned.

I appreciate the compliment for the story, but unfortunately, the feedback here is not actionable.

Could you please point towards what you find to be pretentious or overly complex? You do not have to offer specifics, but some general explanation helps.

If this is in reference to the conversations with the narrator, the tone and diction is intentional. If this refers to the story at large, as in something that makes it less readable, I would very much like to apologize and to know how I can fix it.


Not at this time, but I am not certain that this will be the type of story that could benefit from them.

Many stat checks will be for the sake of flavor, or will ultimately provide different paths to the same goal. I intend to have major successes and failures occur according to combinations of decisions made. The idea is that the main character drives the narrative in different ways according to their major decisions, with variations according to their personality and skills.


For that question in particular, I have written a research project on the development of weaponry in the early modern period, so it was just a random and almost entirely useless fact I happened to know. (At least it was useful here. Coming up with bad nicknames that still make sense, as I did with Kia and Kyn, is probably harder than coming up with good ones!)

For most other queries of that nature, the answer is probably: “Because I read a lot.” :yum:

I will try to cut down on that! I think that, at minimum, the confirmations for hairstyle can be combined into one. No doubt the narrator will find other opportunities to be sassy. :wink:

Thank you so much for the feedback, and for your kind words! :revolving_hearts:

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Done, vis-a-vis the first two posts being wiki-ed.

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Thank you so much! :revolving_hearts:

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The narrator is intensely irritating in addition to being pretentious. I feel you missed the boat for sassy by quite a wide margin. I fear that alone will put people off of reading this should you get as far as publishing with Hosted Games.

However, it is the general writing style I find pretentious and needlessly complex. Being in possession of an expansive vocabulary is all well and good, but flexing that too frequently is fatiguing to even native speakers (this one in particular). I’ve no idea how non-native English speakers will feel having to reach for a dictionary every sentence.

That all said, I really do feel that, with some work, this could be an exceptional entry in the Hosted Games catalogue.

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That was an interesting start! I love the characters already, and the plot intrigues me

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So (maybe) there will be seven books for Seven Sins, starting with Sin of Sloth. I would like to recommend a eighth book with some lovecraftian stuffs with those multiversal demons ( I know this is a little bit early but this idea is excited me :stuck_out_tongue: )

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Thank you for clarifying! :smiley:

Unfortunately, I have had conflicting feedback in this respect, so the middle ground is not immediately obvious to me.

After the next update, I will poll what readers think about the complexity of the writing (and whether it enhances or detracts from the narrative where it is complex), as well as whether they are more amused or irritated by the narrator. Hopefully additional feedback will lead me to the right place.

My thanks for your kind words! I hope to revise the work until it meets that high bar. :sparkling_heart:


One book for each Deadly Sin is indeed correct!

Regarding the greater demons, multiversal scale, and whatnot: I fear that is beyond the scope of this particular series.

That said, I do hope to write more in this fictional universe multiverse! My most ambitious future work, which may remain nothing more than a dream, will probably be in the form of traditional literature – but I might write more interactive works that focus on the supernatural, or on the history of entities such as the Archangels and Archdemons.

However, those considerations are well into the future! I must write and hopefully eventually publish Sin of Sloth first, and if that is accomplished, I have to finish the heptalogy to the best of my ability. :stuck_out_tongue:

Thank you for your interest! :sparkling_heart:

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Game title and the Sin of Sloth reminds me of the Sin of Sloth Archbishop, Betelgeuse Romanee-Conti from Re:Zero. 4xANNJZlKL2mFaM3ceJGQ3OsSVweoTgTNxGDTi-tPvBKKp5xEwX08JKCRR54CdRI

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