# NLSA's Superhero Series(NLSASS): Loreman the Wolfman WIP 30K (a mix of superhero and dark urban fantasy with lighthearted moments) **URL:** \ **Category:** Works In Progress\ **Tags:** gender-locked-male, super-powers, young-adult-fiction\ **Created:** [February 26, 2025, 2:10am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088 "2025-02-26T02:10:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Neeson\_Chang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/neeson_chang/32/243824_2.png) [@Neeson\_Chang](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Neeson_Chang)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 2:10am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088/1 "2025-02-26T02:10:26Z")
I’m currently working on my first CYOA game, _NLSASS: Loreman the Wolfman_. Loreman Mason moved in with his aunt after being laid off. Just as his life was about to stablize, his supernatural heritage began to show. In this world of heroes and supernatural, Loreman had to fight through countless villains and mythic beings before he could find his place. Currently it’s about 30K words(10%) done, and I plan on updating every 4 weeks. To play the demo, go here: [CoGDemos](https://cogdemos.ink/go/4177) By the way, I am not a native speaker so I have never been very confident in my English. If you encounter any passages you feel awkward please let me know in a constructive and non-aggressive way. Thank you very much. This is also my first time going this far with COG. I don’t think I am very good at coding, so if you encounter any bugs please also let me know. ---
**Author:** ![Dragomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/dragomer/32/162730_2.png) [@Dragomer](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Dragomer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 2:55am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088/2 "2025-02-26T02:55:48Z")
I’m not a native speaker either but from what I checked there’s nothing wrong with the prose. ---
**Author:** ![ZipZoop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/zipzoop/32/143525_2.png) [@ZipZoop](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/ZipZoop)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 7:07am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088/3 "2025-02-26T07:07:29Z")
Hey congrats on making your first story! The story so far is paced slowly, making it feel a little aimless because the protagonist keeps doing normal, average things. I suggest having the mc’s name be customizable, for a start. Presenting motivation on what he’s doing after he got fired, can dictate the flow of rest of the story, if this will be an origin ---
**Author:** ![Neeson\_Chang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/neeson_chang/32/243824_2.png) [@Neeson\_Chang](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Neeson_Chang)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 7:46am UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088/5 "2025-02-26T07:46:29Z")
Thanks for advice. I’ve been worried about the pace. In my storyboard, all the exciting things should happen on the second day while the first day(the content in demo) focuses on foreshadowing and worldbuilding. I guess I really made the first day a bit too early long ---
**Author:** ![Harley\_Robin\_Evans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/user_avatar/forum.choiceofgames.com/harley_robin_evans/32/86044_2.png) [@Harley\_Robin\_Evans](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/Harley_Robin_Evans)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2025, 9:56pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088/6 "2025-02-26T21:56:13Z")
Sounds interesting ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/choiceofgames/original/3X/e/f/efe1497a762edecdb6d569a1c4abee87508bf002.png) [@system](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2025, 9:57pm UTC](https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/nlsas-superhero-series-nlsass-loreman-the-wolfman-wip-30k-a-mix-of-superhero-and-dark-urban-fantasy-with-lighthearted-moments/166088/7 "2025-04-27T21:57:08Z")
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