Nireanku: Niels [Minor Update - 30 Aug 2018]

gender-choice
modern-fantasy

#1

You are guard of Niel Jira, one of several borders between nijs and humans world. Your job as niel guard is to protect all creatures from the dangers of niel(s) territory, without exception, and to stop any endangering actions to both the niel and creatures in niel Jira territory. Both easier said than done.

As your duty keep you busy, your forgotten past slowly make it way into your life, forcing you to face it one way or another.


Brief explanation about Nireanku world:

Nireanku is world where many kind of creatures, that originally from different worlds, live in one, gigantic world because of phenomena that happen almost 200 years ago. Nireanku phenomena, to put it simply, is a giant phenomena that change how worlds work, some call it tragedy, some call it miracle. No one claim with evidences know why it happen, and how it happen is still being searched. Creatures who dominated the population of Nireanku currently is human, dein, and nij because of their superior knowledge and power.


After working on this WiP for around a half year, I’m finally done with (hopefully) playable prologue, it’s around 7000 - 8000 words according to CSIDE. The game start with the MC already become niel guard for around 3 years, and losing memories of his/her past (except few years before he/she join Niel Jira as guard).

Through the game, you will have opportunities to collect clues about your past, but be aware that not only you who searching for it, there also others who searching the same thing with you as well for several different reasons, there might even some who prevents or helps you. You can just ignore your past and move on too, but like above says, you will forced to confront it eventually.

I’m not sure how frequent I can update it, but if there little to no interruptions of some kind, I might update it once a month. But I’m not making promise about it. I will keep this thread updated about my writing progress every now and then though.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the short demo :slightly_smiling_face: feel free to post your opinion about it, that’s why I make this public thread and not keep it private, after all.

Warnings:

This interactive fiction features violence and blood.

Link to the game:
https://dashingdon.com/go/2985

Updates:

6 Aug 2018:

  • Minor change and typos fix.

30 Aug 2018:

  • Add notifications when there changes in your stats that can be enabled or disabled (let me know if there changes in your stats but no notification even though you enable it, I’m half sure there some.)
  • You can now disable (or enable) italic font to appears.
  • Minor errors fix and minor rewrite.
  • New kind of Nij, J’sornir.

Feel free to check this link from time to time if you want to know more about the Nireanku world, there still little to nothing though since I just using this for few days:

https://worldanvil.com/w/nireanku-sabrina


#2

This seems interesting I hope it gets somewhere when ever you have a update could you put updated date when you update


#3

A new wip! Yay!

Now, I do love your dialogue options. It has variety and personality. A must in character driven games I feel. So please do keep that up. (Snarky grumpy mcs? I’m in!)

There were quite an abundance of glaring grammatical errors throughout your wip. I would recommend a spellchecker or an editor. There are plenty free software I believe. Oh but once the wip is furthur along of course.

Another issue I have is concerning the lack of emphasis on otherwise dramatical scenes. Such as the sucker punch out of the dark. I would have liked a bit more shock and rawness to those scenes. Perhaps describe the air, the tension, the skittering shadows in the dark. Whatever fits the scene!
Of course these are all very fixable issues so there is no need for stress.
Good luck.


#4

I was confused for a moment, as “Niels” is a fairly common, old-fashioned, male name here in denmark. :laughing:

:rabbit::hamster::rabbit::hamster::rabbit:


#5

@SabrinadizaLS
It’s end here for now, update will come eventuallwy (Just don’t ask about it, because I’m not sure when and that against the forum rules). Thank you for playing! Feel free to post/sent your feedback about the game!

(??? WHAT IS eventuallwy???_):sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile:


#6

Thanks! And don’t worry, I will put the update date in title when there big update :slightly_smiling_face:

I’m glad you enjoy it!

Yeah apparently (I just notice it) :sweat_smile: my friend have kindly point out many of them, and I’m going to read through it again to find more of those annoying typos.

I will try to made it those scene like you suggested it, thank you for pointing it out :slightly_smiling_face:

Huh, I didn’t know that :laughing: I will make sure to add more detailed explanation about niels.

Yikes I forgot to fix that :grimacing: thanks for letting me know.


#7

this was fun play this game you did great job on this hope see more of hard work :+1:


#8

(Minor) Update Is Up!
What added and fixed:

  • Notifications when there changes in your stats that can be enabled or disabled (let me know if there changes in your stats but no notification even though you enable it, I’m half sure there some.)
  • You can now disable (or enable) italic font to appears.
  • Minor errors fix and minor rewrite.
  • New kind of Nij, J’sornir.
About J'sornir:

J’sornir are nijs who formerly human being, their reason to change varies from ritual, cursed, possessed, etc. Once they become nij, most can’t change back to human, and it hard for anyone who can, since that would require sacrificing something important that too valuable to “give” away.

However, while J’sornir is nij, they still have a physical body just like the time before they turn, and can shapeshift only for limited times before change back to their original body. This make it easier for anyone to identify what kind of nij are they.

It considered taboo to change into J’sornir in modern society, but it’s not in some tribes since they believe it’s mean ascend to another highness— which mean you have to had a high rank to do that there. It also sometimes a must in some groups, since they can have longer period to life that way.


Chapter 1, unfortunately, is not finished yet thanks to my slow writing. While there is 6000+ word count for it, it’s barely playable :sweat_smile: (bare with me, I’m about to have exam soon). It’s progressing nicely though, and if all goes according to plan, it should be up in the next update.

Link:
https://dashingdon.com/go/2985


#9

I’m going to try it, but I’ve got to ask, why people always use amnesiac protagonists?


#10

Can’t speak for everyone, but I love plot when someone actually in deep problem, but can’t even remember their own name. :thinking: Plus, it wouldn’t make sense for MC to not lost his/her past memory considering what happened to him/her.


#11

Probably because there easier to tell an interactive story(or anything really) with, I’m not the author of this wip but the reason I see most people use amnesiac protagonists is because their technically blank states since they lost any memory or personality they ever had(and when creating a interactive novel or anything involving choice blank states are kinda what you want to go for.)

Can’t say this is the author reason though.


#12

look good!

will be watching for the updates :slight_smile: Good luck with your story!


#13

An IF protagonist can also just start as a blank slate and the player can determine who they are through story choices. While they may have a history of some sort f it is vague enough players don’t lose agency over their MCs. An example would be Fallout New Vegas. All we know was we were a courier and we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Who we are is determined by our actions. The last dlc may argue against this a bit ( I think its been a while) with us having a history in this area that we as the player knew nothing about until it’s release. Everything else about the courier is determined by our actions in the Mohave.

My point regarding all of this is that there isn’t always a need to forget who we are when we can determine who we are as the story goes. In a way we write our own stories. Preexisting history only hampers the blank slate type of character if their past is too specific. If it was too specific their personality is somewhat or totally predetermined defeating the whole purpose of having a blank slate to begin with.


#14

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