Night of Blue Fire (Gothic Horror WIP, Demo updated 1/16)

It’s your average study abroad, only with more blood-drained corpses.

Blood and Mist: Night of Blue Fire is my first attempt at writing a game using ChoiceScript. In it you play a college sophomore on a study abroad trip to Romania. Ostensibly the goal is to reach some hereto unstudied Saxon ruins in the region, but several things don’t add up. Including that most of the students (including possibly yourself) are not anthropology majors. Can you survive? Will you even want to?

As of 01/13/18 I have finished draft one at 33,000 words (not counting commands). I am about 25% finished with draft 2.

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/2179

I’m interested in any and all constructive feedback.

This is technically the 2nd posting for this WIP, the last being like 8 months ago. I’ve made significant progress since then. Life got in the way, but I’ve beaten it back into its cage.

UPDATE 1/16/18: Length of demo more than doubled. Probably also more than doubled the number of typos. If you encounter “UNDER CONSTRUCTION”, it means I’m still writing that branch of the story.

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I feel like I have seen this before ,Deja vu?..

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Vanessa: So what do you think of this WIP? (Filming)
Me: (Grunt)

/Sorry, couldn’t resist.

It shows promise but it is waaay too short to give any meaningful feedback. Will we be able to chose our gender down the line or is it up to our imagination? Also what year/decade is the game at? Just for reference’s sake because usually when people say “gothic works” I tend to think of ye old times (though I guess not that old as there’s a camera involved).

@Black_Knight
Not surprising considering they stated this was their second thread for this game, first one was posted 8 months ago (probably closed by now, though the author could have just contacted the mods to get it re-opened).

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This is actually the same as before

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I’ve seen this before, but it’s still a fresh concept and well-written. Please continue.

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So far it’s interesting. i love the description of our relationship with people. But as people say, we need a little more before giving more feedback

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I love your writing style, descriptive but no overly so. Also you’re very good and showing different characters personalities. Excited for more :slight_smile:

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There doesn’t seem to be any way to get past the thing telling me “Denn die Todten reiten shnell”. Is that intended?

I remember this story can’t wait for it to continue!

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That’s the end of the demo.

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Just so you know “todten” is spelled toten, in this sentence, and “shnell” is spelled schnell :
“Denn die Todten reiten shnell.”
and the “dot” comes after the quotation marks.
like the story so far, keep it up. <3

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Seems interesting so far can’t wait for more

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I found some spelling mistakes


wear*

Protege*

About the story it is very infrom sting fron what I have read so far. Looking forward to more

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Thanks to everyone for the likes and feedback! I should have the rest of the story ready to share by tomorrow night, including the typo fixes ya’ll have pointed out.

@Miya_Giq There is a possibility I’m wrong, or reading from an edition with a typo, but I think I want to go with what I’m assuming is an archaic spelling of “Todten”, since I’m quoting from somewhere very specific. You are spot on about “shnell” though, I got that one flat wrong.

@IvoryOwl To me “gothic” connotes a literary genre, not a time period, but now that you bring it up I can see the confusion. I’ll keep an eye on it and see if other people have the same problem.

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