Nexus [Inactive]

Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. I’m still working on adding more immersive options for setting the history of your character’s pre-resignation story in the Prologue. I went through it earlier and it felt like that I bogged down the reader with too much “telling” and not enough “showing”, however. I might do something to change it again to make it more interactive for the reader.

Who knows, I might even add in the occasional sprinkle of a technical puzzle (assuming you chose the Hacker archetype in the beginning), not quite unlike the cracking challenges that you see in the Fallout franchise. :slight_smile:

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I am enjoying this story so far and you have definitely got me curious as to what will happen next. Well done.

One thing I found when trying to check my messages.

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Can you elaborate on what part of the Prologue you were, when this bug came up?

It occurs whenever I try to access the message from Norton. It happens no matter where I am in the prologue, once it becomes possible to check your messages. If I try to check it straight away or wait I still get the same bug.

Major update.

Currently at around 3000 words. Expect an addition of 5000 more words before next week.

For everyone who had the chance to see the features I implemented in the last draft, don’t worry. It will be fully implemented again as I increase the word count. Hopefully this draft comes across as being more coherent and logical in the overarching structure, as opposed to the first draft.

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A pretty rad rewrite with such a drastically different approach and look than Dark Matter that enthralls you with its diverse character choices even if a large portion of the beginning has yet to be added in.

Hoping the updates remain consistent in their quality and I look forward to the future of this WIP.

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This is a truly intriguing game, I can’t wait to read more of it. Albeit, for some reason I am unable to choose from all the choices.

The greyed-out options are the way they are because I have yet to put in the narrative related to that path.

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I see. Thanks for answering so quickly. :slight_smile:

Nice to see this project of yours back, your writing is still solid and so… I don’t know, flowing? I felt completely enthralled while reading, which a prowess since it is 2 AM.
The “There is a time for anger, and a season for happiness. It’s the season for her grief and wailing agony. I share in her grief, but I’ve known enough by experience to know that it doesn’t lead to anywhere good, following this path” option is just… It’s so poetic and yet doesn’t feel out of place! I don’t really have the words to give your writing its due, those particular sentences stroke me as really amazing but the rest of the demo is just as great!
Anyway, I’m glad to see this WIP back, even if it’s different because it’s even more intriguing and your writing still as good!

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Katherine keeps calling me a boy/man tho I’ve chosen the female option

Pretty cool. :fox_face:

In the drunk friend question. The puppy option was meant as a sarcatic reply, or it means MC would really find him a puppy?

also whats the “replicant” thing?

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@pizzawarrior
Thanks for taking the time to read the demo and commenting! I aim to further improve my craft as I put together the rest of the narrative. The details on the first case will be fully released by the end of next week at the latest. I will hopefully to have also further fleshed out the other options.

@cottoncandy
Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I will fix that before next week as I complete filling in the rest of the narrative surrounding your character’s first case, since their brief and temporary retirement.

@Hearts

Thanks for reading the demo. In the prologue question, the puppy option was actually intended to be a genuine effort from your character’s part in attempting to make their friend feel better about themselves. As for the “Replicant” you are referring to, it’s just a neat little reference to Blade Runner. When I was writing that, I originally intended for it to be a little easter egg. Although now that I’m thinking about it, I might decide to give this aspect of the story a lot more significance than I first intended. That is, if people are interested in that.

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Update.

Added in another 3000 words to the total word count. I have introduced another RO in Chapter 1, and your character meets him as soon as they try to gain access to the crime scene. Douglas Lyons is still one of the other ROs, and I have at least two more female ROs to add in.

In fact, I want to take the chance to clarify something – in this game, I’m not going to include a variable that will store your character’s sexual orientation and use that as some form of a “check” that determines your eligibility to pursue a RO. I am coding this project in a way that it gives you the freedom to pursue the relationships that you want.

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Thanks for replying. :fox_face:

About the Blade Runner reference, if ur able to put it all together without screwing up, i can see no reason y u shouldnt. Besides its ur story, u can do whatever the fcking hell u want :upside_down_face: .
U can even make a pink glittery unicorn as a main antagonist. Just make it cohesive( coherent? ) and then write a story about it.:+1: :v:

:thinking::thinking::thinking::thinking::thinking::thinking::thinking::thinking:?

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I too keep getting stuck at

chapter1 line 344: It is illegal to fall in to an *else statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block.

@Hearts @The_Lady_Luck

Should be fixed now. Thanks for letting me know.

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Another one :upside_down_face:

i choose the option to just catch some sleep :fox_face:

@Hearts

Should be fixed now. If any other of those options are giving you trouble, ring me up.

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Update.

Chapter 1 now has 6181 words. The total word count is around 8300 words. I have yet to add in the branching narrative for your actual forensic examination, but I have fleshed out most of the dialogue involved with one of the NPCs, which you have the option to talk with.

And also, you get to meet your character’s new best friend – a black notebook. The Note-taking system I introduced in the first version of the project draft will be returning full force in the next couple days.

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