New WIP - Forsaken: Shed no grace on me

I’ve begun work on my new game Forsaken - Shed No Grace On Me

Prompt - You’re a mercenary… Or what’s left of one, you’ve awoken a potent power within yourself, but with it comes the perils that your lineage has left you to burden. While you’re carrying all of it on your shoulders, a mysterious figure from the past addles your mind, adding extra weight to your already encumbersome load. What lies in wait for you on the path ahead? Who knows, only journeying down it will lead you to answers.

Demo - Forsaken - Shed no grace on me (dashingdon.com)

Currently there is only the prologue, and a few bodies of text in the first chapter that are available. There’s about 25k words so far.

I am actively working on the project, so I can’t give a designated time period onto how frequently it will be updated. I’m only publishing the project in its early stages because I want to get feedback sooner rather than later, so that I am able to solve problems before they spread. I am also eager to hear about peoples option on my work so far. I am open to any constructive criticism that will help me enhance the narrative. With that being said, I hope you enjoy what I have out there so far.

(CHAPTER 1 COMING SOON!!!)

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Selecting “girl” and then “Yes, I prefer to be addressed as she/her” causes an error

“prolouge line 127: Non-existent variable ‘gen’”

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Yeah, same error

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Sorry about that, it should be fixed now. Thanks for informing me about it.

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So far havent come across any code errors but i have noticed a lot of typos sprinkled through out but story definitely got me interested to see more. :smiley:

Is very interesting read I can’t wait to read more

Im glad I peaked your curiosity, if you wouldn’t mind siting some of those typos so that I am able to fix them that would be much appreciated.

Will try but they are kinda numerous and spread throughout so far.

That’s understandable, and don’t feel obligated to do so if its too much trouble. Thank you for your interest in my book so far though.

No worries will do what i can when i can :smiley: not sure what program you use but the basic spell check should be able to help with most of it. Yet despite the typos i understood what word you were wanting to use or meant. An i am highly curious to learn what the present day events are to be as well learning just what our MCs heritage might be. Also were you planing on having flash back scenes where we learn more of our past? Similar to what we played out in the prologue?

To answer your question, throughout the entire course of the first chapter, I was planning on slowly relaying your past experiences that led you to this current chapter in your life. The nature of your heritage will be revealed soon as well, I am currently progressing the plot as we speak, so I hope you can look forward to that. I’ll definitely check out the spell check mechanic you mentioned👌 I really appreciate your helpfulness so far, thank you for that.

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Your welcome :smiley: :: nudge :: case in point in the post above mine here you have " slowing relaying " It should read as slowly relaying in the context of what you intended to say. Had several words like that in the demo that i lumped into the typo category.

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I’m sorry to be a grammar Nazi, but I only made it two pages in because you kept using the incorrect “you’re.” You’re is a contraction that stands for You Are. What you want to use when talking about possession, as in something that belongs to you, is “your.”

That bag is yours.

It’s your life, live it how you want.

No one can take away your dignity


You’re crazy if you think I’m doing that.

You’re not old enough.

There is no way you’re doing that.

Yeah, that’s understandable, because when I am in the zone, just constantly typing out words, I usually go on auto pilot and don’t think twice about the words I type out. Then once I re-read it, even if the spelling is wrong on paper, I read it correctly in my head and just gloss over the fact that its not the right phrasing. I’m definitely going to go back and fix the typos, but I just added some more narrative after character creation, so I implore you to check it out and give the book another chance. Thank you for ‘your’ imput.

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I will definitely do so lol. Thank you for ‘your’ time.

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When I choose shoulder length hair

line 618: Invalid string, open quote with no close quote: ("Ponytail)

Anyway, I like the story so far.

Should be fixed now, let me know if you find any other bugs during the character creation. Thank you for taking a interest in my game.

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Sounds interesting

@moderators I’ve updated my WIP and added the updated flies to dashingdon. I then went to edit my post on this forum, but it wouldn’t allow me to. Would any of you be able to help me with this issue?

It’s the forum software - your permissions on the forum don’t currently allow you to edit posts, but I’ve made your OP a wiki so you should be able to now.

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