Nevermoore (WIP) (Update May 20,2020)

Hello there everyone! Like many of you here, I’ve been lurking at a lot of WIPs on this site, and so I finally decided to try my hand at my own. Though…I’m still a bit new to writing, being more of a Game Dev Student than a writer (But I have written stories in the past, just never published/shared them), so don’t expect me to be writing the next Tin Star or anything like that :sweat_smile:.

My first post here was on the Interest Check Thread, sharing about this idea of your MC getting trapped in a cursed town. A lot were pretty interested so I decided that I should try working on it. Just have you know that I have no set update schedule, but I will try my best to do as much of this as I can. This is my first CYOA game so I’m really excited to see how this turns out.

Summary (Not final)

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but it won’t be satisfaction that’ll be bringing you back. Again. And again. And again.

After your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere while on your way to visit your parents, you find yourself in a small, forested town not labeled on any map or pinged on your GPS. Its residents were welcoming, and offered you a place to stay the night. But their smiles seemed more apologetic than happy, and their eyes looked at you with regret. You never really did understand why that was…Until you died.

So now, you are an unwilling participant in an endless cycle of death. And the more you learn about the bloodstained history of the town and the past of its people, the more you find yourself getting tangled up in a web of secrets that threatens to keep you there forever.

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/play/astericae/nevermoore/mygame/ (Last Updated May 20, 2020)

Tumblr Dev Blog: http://astericae-writes.tumblr.com . First time managing a blog so its design is still really basic. You can ask your questions about the story, characters, and development here! The RO art is also posted there.

About the Game
  • Play as male, female, or non-binary. Be gay, straight, bi, or asexual!
  • 4 potential ROs so far! All are gender-flipable and are available to the MC regardless of gender. There’s a possibility of me adding 2 more ROs, one male and one female, in the future.
  • Nevermoore is a town where death doesn’t matter, but can you risk being careless?
  • Explore and uncover the town’s mysterious curse. Be it alone, or with a few helping hands.
  • Learn about the lives of the residents before they had found themselves there. Everyone has their own stories to share. Perhaps you might find something that you all have in common…
  • More stuff to be added :sweat_smile:
FAQ

This will be filled as time goes on.


About ROs

Info might change as the demo goes on. The art is made by me because I have zero self control.
Edit May 28, 2020: Good news! I found an amazing artist to commission for the character portraits. They already finished two, Sterling and Romero, so far. (The rest will be posted as soon as the artist gets them done!). Link to the artist can be found on my blog, and I’ll also link them here as soon as we have everyone :blush:.

Micah/Miriam Sterling | **New Art!**

"M"
Age: 26
Recorded Disappearance: 1922


Coming from the back alleys of New York with a soft-spoken and patient personality. They are civil and generally polite to most people they meet, and tries to avoid conflict as much as possible. They also have a habit of being constantly alert of their surroundings, picking up sounds and sensations that would normally be missed by others. Nobody considers it unusual, however, because it becomes understandable once you meet them. If the pair of shades and solid wood walking cane doesn’t give it away, then their clouded blue eyes definitely will.

However, it’s best to remain wary of them. Because there is just something…off, in the way they carry themselves. Like a predator, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike their prey.

Elias/Eloise Lain Romero | **New Art!**

"E"
Age: 20
Recorded Disappearance: 1989


They grew up in Haiti before moving to Canada to study journalism. They are often sarcastic and have a bit of a sharp tongue, directing it towards anyone that’s within their vicinity for longer than a minute. However, it’s known that they do genuinely care for the other residents, even though they’d probably rather die again than admit it out loud. Oddly enough, they can also come off as rather nosy, always asking others (including you) rather personal questions. They insist that it’s important, but don’t specify what they need the information for.

Also, they are always seen carrying a leather-bound notebook with them at all times. With everything they seem to know about the people and the town, who knows what’s written in it…

Pavel/Priscilla Falken

"P"
Age: 23
Recorded Disappearance: 2004


The brightly coloured, mismatched clothes they wear match their upbeat, free-spirited personality. An aspiring cook, specifically a baker, who was looking to open their own cafe before they accidentally arrived at the town. But even so, they won’t let the curse stop them from doing what they love, despite the potential risks (In fact, they’ve lost count on how many times their oven blew up on them). They also love to chat with people, especially with the newcomers. And wanting to make them feel welcome, they would usually give them some sort of house-warming gift like freshly baked cookies.

Their family actually shares their love for cooking, having once owned a small, local restaurant. Once is the keyword here. Best not to bring it up around them.

Simon/Sarai Zhang

"S"
Age: 25
Recorded Disappearance: 1967


They are a person of science, following the footsteps of their father. Can be mostly be found in the town library, preferring the company of books rather than people. Their stoicism and aloofness makes it hard to get a read on what they are really thinking, and their bluntness sometimes puts others off. But they are hardworking, and take their situation more seriously than others. Which is why they are the only one who is actively trying to find a way out of the town, as well as understand how it works. They’ve tried everything, and are still coming up with new ways and theories (and experiments, sometimes even on themselves) all the time. They are determined to escape.

They have to. For their father.


Update Log
January 23, 2020
  • Prologue
Feb 27, 2020 | Post #11
  • Improved on Prologue
  • Updated Content warnings
  • Part of Chapter 1, which includes meeting the MC as well as basic character creation.
May 10, 2020 | Post #33
  • Part 1 of the small update
  • Added a save system. Hope it works.
  • General edits and bug fixes throughout the whole thing.
May 20, 2020 | Post #37
  • Part 2 of the small update
  • Changed the ‘Perception’ stat to ‘Awareness’
  • General edits and bug fixes throughout the whole thing.

What’s next?: The rest on chapter 1 as well as a special interlude. This will be a pretty big update. And still finish the missing conversation (Dialogues are the bane of my existence)

What type of feedback I’m looking for:

  • Spelling/Grammar errors since English is not my first language. Especially when it comes to tenses. I’d tend to mix up the past and present tense when I’m writing.
  • Coding errors and bugs. (Ex: MC is referred to as he instead of she)
  • Story pacing and sentence structure. Any scenes you think went on too fast? Too slow? Sentences that took you a few rereads to understand? Let me know!
  • Suggestions. Can’t always follow through with it, but I’d like to hear your ideas on how to improve, be it characters, dialogue, or otherwise (Ex: There should also be an option x for this choice instead of just y and z)

Thanks again everyone for checking this WIP out and I hope to see you soon!

202 Likes

Well sounds interesting, more than a little bit similar to Raging Loop (which is really amazing VN) and i dont think that there are any time loop themed titles in COG library yet.
Good luck!

4 Likes

Update (23/01/2020)
So the link is already up there but I’m just letting you know again just so I can get in the habit of updating like this in the future. Like I said before, this is only the prologue, so nothing special is happening (yet). In the next update, we’ll meet the MC! So stay tuned everyone!

@Kleen Thank you so much for your kind words. However, I’m afraid that this isn’t exactly a ‘Time Loop’ story. There’s elements of…Time Travel(?), but I can’t give out anymore info atm because of spoilers. But I do hope you still stick around in the future to see what I mean! :smile:

Also quick question for any Choicescript IDE users out there, is there supposed to be a specific way to…er…move the txt files to dashingdon? Bc I’ve only been downloading each one individually via Dropbox and then uploading them there. It then becomes a pain if I need to update because of small changes. I tried using ‘export’ but nothing seems to be happening? Sorry, I’m still trying to get used to this lol.

5 Likes

Color me interest, I’ll be keeping an eye on this thread. I really like how you paint a picture of it all with your words.

2 Likes

Even though it is short, the idea has caught my interest. I can’t wait for more and I like how the title reminds me of Edger Allen Poe’s poem: The raven

2 Likes

Very intriguing premise and I found the short prologue enjoyable, looking forward to future updates.

1 Like

Well I for one would like to live forever.Great demo anyways.Keep up the good work😊

2 Likes

Sounds interesting

1 Like

Hi!

Unfortunately, I am not familiar with CS and dashingdon. Perhaps addressed your CS question over the Choicescript Help subforum.

Good luck on your work by the way!

1 Like

The premise sorta reminded me of that IF game I played a long time ago, The Cactus Blue Motel. Anyhow, I’ll certainly keep an eye on this project :wink:

1 Like

@Bokeh @Clara_Wolfenstein @kalm @TheFox2004 @Harley_Robin_Evans @resuri08 @KJM
Thank you all so much for your kind words for this project. You have no idea how much it means to me knowing that there are people out there who want to read more of what I wrote! I’m definitely inspired to write more and hopefully update with the first chapter sooner than planned!

7 Likes

(Updated Feb 27, 2020)
Okay, so it took a little longer than I would have liked, but here’s the first update of Nevermoore! I admit there’s still not much to it yet, but because I’m a fool and impatient as heck, I decided to at least share this so people can have a taste of what to expect from me. But oh my gosh writing this was so hard. It went through three (3) re-writes and even then I’m still not satisfied with it. There’s this dumb caveman part of me that’s just like 'Must. Get. To. Fun. Part!" But my logical brain is all “No you idiot! Every part is needed and is important!”

But yeah, here you go. I hope you enjoy it so far! Though please note that there’s a conversation there that is still incomplete (You’ll know it when you see it.)

As for feedback, please check the main post as to what I am looking for. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask, I’ll be happy to answer when I can. With that being said, thank you everyone for your supports so far and I hope to see you again soon!

8 Likes

I really liked the premise, I’m looking forward the development of the story.
However, when I choose the second option about the car, the one that says I appreciated the thought, I get this bug.

1 Like

Should be fixed now. Thanks for letting me know!

Can confirm it’s fixed.
I like it so far. Slow to start but you can say that for every game. Keep up the good work.

1 Like

I got this bug when I decide to choose myself the genders

1 Like

Should be fixed now. Can you confirm? Thank you for informing me!

It’s fixed! :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

I really liked this story!! I’m looking forward to it!!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

@Moonstone Thank you for your support! I hope I don’t disappoint or anything in the future lol.

For everyone else still sticking around with this wip, I did a small update (not enough to warrant an official post in the update log). Just an extra option to style MC’s hair if it’s long enough, one of those quote things at the start of chapter 1 that gives you a small peek at the lore, and general spelling/grammar/bug fixes.

And if any of you are interested, would you like me to introduce the ROs to you here early (By that I mean in this thread, not in story)? Nothing too spoilery obviously. But their names, personalities, and appearances (still unofficial on my end), will be shared. At least those who want to can sort of…‘prepare(?)’ for them when they do appear in-story. Please let me know if you want this and I’ll see what I can do. (Plus the RO section from the main post won’t be too empty anymore :smile:)

8 Likes