Ah, I finally caught up with the demo and I love it! The choices and text leading up to the mc entering Nevermoore really sell the scene. And that text with the altered sign? chef’s kiss
I’m really looking forward to what you have in store, keep up the good work! 
Really solid demo! I loved the whole sequence of how we arrive at Nervermoore. The mystical storm, the unreliable GPS, the classic no telephone signal. I really liked the touch of how we knew that the path to the town wasn’t there before, but we refuse to think about it. Such a human touch.
The demo honestly felt a bit spooky. I was reading every sentience very carefully even if, because of the prologue, I already knew what was going on. The Mc is both in a lot of danger and, ironically, none at all since I can’t die now 
Also really appreciated the opportunity to speak with our parents. It really drives home the reality of us disappearing, of never seeing them again. I was legitimately sad while speaking with our mom 
All in all, I really enjoyed what you have so far! Can’t wait to see the town and meet its residents!
Ha! I’m a native English speaker and I still struggle with this. Trust me, if that’s your biggest worry with English you’re probably better with it than most of us Americans.
That said, I’ll be extra vigilant whenever I read your demo to see if I can find any instances for you.
Also, not sure if it was intentional or not, but you did it in the highlighted text I quoted. I’d is short for I would, which is past tense (at least in this context). I’m assuming this should have been present tense, which is simply I tend
That’s the only actual error I spotted my first time through.
Not an actually error:
I noticed one RO is from New York and one is from Canada. Is this story supposed to be taking place in the United States? If so, instead of saying “I went to University”, “I went to College” would be the more common word choice. College is the more commonly used word in the states.
Thank you! I was particularly proud of coming up with that one. I might do a few changes to the stat system in the future, but the ‘stat check’ to be able to see that altered sign will remain! It makes me really happy to hear that you’re enjoying this so far! 
I appreciate you stopping by to check the demo out! It was such a pleasant surprise for me!
The writing out the conversations with your parents had been the most challenging part so far, so hearing you say that it invoked an emotion out of you means that I must be doing something correctly haha. And I’m glad you liked the sequence of events of MC arriving to the town, those were really fun to write! 
Thank you for catching that, I’ll change it asap!
I admit that I’m from Canada myself, so I might be subconsciously adding ‘Canadian’ terms. (Ex: Putting a ‘u’ is words like colour, honour, etc. Using the metric system. That kind of stuff) However, I was trying to keep the location of the MC as vague as possible so the reader can imagine if they’re in the US or Canada.
This isn’t exactly a spoiler but the ‘reach’ of the town spans at least both those countries, which is why there’s an RO is from New York and the other from Canada. I will try to take your advice and use ‘College’ instead though, it’ll be easier on both sides! Thank you very much for taking your time to point out the mistakes to me !
Eh, just found about this game and tried the demo. And I’ve really enjoyed it a lot!
So far it’s a little short for me to comment on pacing. It’s slow, but that’s usually the case for horror or mystery themed stories, so yeah, so far so good. Obviously pacing issues may rather appear later.
Still, the atmosphere is amazing. I’m not sensitive to horror or terror per se, so I’m not scared, but the tension is amazing. Last time I felt that kind of sense of “dread” while playing, it was in the visual novel “The Letter”. While the story has nothing in common, I find myself feeling the same things here. And that makes me very excited.
I’ll go over a few gripes I had with the demo, and then jump onto actual suggestions or questions.
So far, I didn’t have any other issues!
Now, as far as suggestions go!
Oh and also, the love interests look AWESOME! Can’t wait to meet them in game!
I think that’s it. Great prologue!
Can’t wait for more content. Keep up the good work!
Well then. First off, I just want to say thank you so much for the long and insightful comment! It was such a joy to read through it, suggestions/criticisms and all 
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For the first two points you made (The dialogue with Wendy and the food/drink options), I’ll take those into consideration will probably end up changing it accordingly in a silent update fix. Thank you!
You do have good points there. To be honest, when I was writing this part, I had the loose inspiration from how scenes like these were presented in other COGs like Wayhaven Chronicles and Shadow Society (Where it asks you what gender(s) MC was interested in). Mine was just worded differently.
I will do my best to see what I can do about this, however, since I want to make sure that any representation I have in this story is respectful/accurate. Thank you for bringing this to my attention!
Now for your other notes…
Done 
. I already added it to the scripts and stuff, but as of now writing this reply it’s not in the demo yet. Probably in the next day or so when I do more silent updates.
That’s…actually a really cool idea…Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll try and see how I can implement this, thank you for the sugestion!
Though, there is a stat out there that also doubles as your perception and awareness. It’s only called the Intelligence stat for now, but it will change later on in the story 
…
Thank you! A lot of people seem to really like those ‘creepy’ scenes that lead up to arriving to the town. It’s a surprise, but an encouraging and pleasant one!
I’m not sure what I can say without giving much away haha, but I do have these scenarios in mind. MC will have different options as to how they want to react to the town. I don’t doubt that some player will want to make an MC that wants to stay, but they might change that stance way later on in the story…
I have this notebook where I wrote down a couple possibilities this story can end, it’s just the matter of choosing which ones. But…I might go for a ‘set’ ending with a ton of variables because I have an idea for a possible sequel. Don’t quote me on that though, I’m still figuring this out myself 
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All in all, thank you so much for the lengthy comment! If you have anything else to say in response to this, then feel free to PM me! I’ll always reply and this way the forum won’t be too cluttered .
Really awesome demo, it certainly captivated me in a short period of time. I started to feel the ‘creepy’/ominous vibe once the radio started fritzing out, and that was when I got hooked. I could almost feel a static whine getting higher and higher pitched until it snapped with the last page of the demo. Simply wonderful. Hoping for more with the update!
A humble suggestion from a not-so humble save-scummer; more save slots in the future? At least when the game gets long enough to warrant it.
Out of curiousity; would I be correct in assuming that physically oriented MCs could possibly be pretty bummed out since their bodies can no longer improve via exercise/training? (no muscle gain and other physiological changes)
Ah yes, another fellow save-scummer. Glad to see that I’m not the only one who does that.
Thank you very much! I’m glad you’re enjoying this so far! I’ll definitely be adding more save slots in the future (As of now, it’s only 4). Don’t worry, I’m someone who obsessively save-scums in cyoas too …
What an interesting and intriguing beginning, looking forward for the update 
Wow, this thing has gone silent for a while. I hope everything is ok
@Logan_T Oh I’m sorry to worry you! Everything is fine and this project is still on-going! I’m a bit more active right now on the Tumblr where I’d occasionally post progress updates and answer asks.
With any luck, the update should be up sometime this month !
I really appreciate your concern though!
I want to try this but it never loads for me… 
Oh no I’m so sorry to hear that!
Do you think you can try again? I’ve just reuploaded/updated the files because I believe the problem had something to do with a ‘*goto_scene name’ . I think (hope) it’s been fixed now haha.
If not then please let me know! Maybe through PM just to be safe since I dont want to derail the thread or something .
I dunno if that did the trick, but it worked nonetheless! I liked this! It works strangely well with Persona 4 music, but I think that’s because the rain storm reminded me of the fog that’d appear before a dead body. I look forward to future installments, for sure 
interesting idea! Can’t wait to see what kinda weirdness this town gives off lol
I made it just in time for an August update as I promised! I hope you guys enjoy it!
It’s important that you start from the beginning since I made some changes to some stats and variables!
It has:
(No, that is not a spoiler)Also changed a bit of the diner scene so it flows a bit more and you are now defaulted to choosing RO gender upon the first meeting. It’s less awkward and clunky that way in text haha.
Thank you again for checking it out and I’ll see you all soon! If you have any questions or comments don’t be afraid to let me know either through the Forums, Tumblr, or Discord!
Awesome update, is good to finally meet the ROs
Idk what else to say, this interlude just broke my heart…
Great update! Love the descriptions.
So is the curse basically you arrive in town, die, and then are somehow tied to the town when you come back to life? If so, that sucks lol.
I really like the whole “subtly wrong” vibes the whole town gives. It gives me a weird, uneasy feeling that I can’t really place, so props to the writing!
