This was short but I loved the atmosphere and bits of world building already part of the story so far. I think the use of shorter sentences really added a tense feeling, especially in the empty apartment. While there aren’t many choices yet, I also like how they have obvious impact right from the start and affect the other choices.
One thing I thought was slightly disappointing – if the MC is a burglar, why couldn’t they take Carl’s ID? I thought that’d be something that’d be useful since it’s for Crisalyd’s level 5 research. Also, the fire escape route seems very short compared to the apartment route – perhaps you could add different world building info in the fire escape so the player doesn’t feel like they’re supposed to play the game only one way?
Typos and stuff
The rain seems not to leave Sinidea City.
Under the curtain of water, the neon lights seem to evaporate.
Having “seem” in both of these sentences makes the paragraph feel slightly repetitious – perhaps change the second “seem” to another similar word.
But it is not good to think about that when you are hanging up from the ledge of a window and an abyss under your feet.
I’d add “with” after “and” so the first part of the sentence flows into the last part.
And as burglar you are good at…
Looks like “an” should be before “burglar” here.
stamina, to keep on the running.
You can listen the howling sirens in the distance.
Your arms are trembling for exahustation.
“for” should be “from”, “exahustation” should be “exhaustion”
And the damn rain continues poking your eyes like daggers, flurry your vision.
I’d reword “flurry” to “clouding” here.
At your right, you discover a ramshackle fire scape.
“fire scape” should be “fire escape”.
You make a faith jump.
“Jump of faith” might sound better here.
Suddenly an strong hand grabs your shoulder from the dark, almost crushing your bones.
“an” should be “a”.
" groans a resentful voice.
Add a comma/exclamation mark at the end of the first dialogue in the sentence, and a period/comma/exclamation mark at the end as well.
Looks like laser cannons ready to incinerate all the entire street.
Since you were talking about the implants/retinas in the previous sentences, I’d change “looks” to “They look” so the sentences are in agreement. Also, maybe remove “all” since “entire” describes the whole street fine without it.
And till then, the inspector seems to development a particulary obsession, following you everywhere and appearing in the most inopportune moments.
“till” should be “since”, I’d change “development” to “have developed”, “particulary” to “particular”.
“Move. Against the wall” ordered the inspector
Add punctuation before the quotation mark.
Should be “Attributes”.
Looking forward to seeing more of Inspector Starkov!