Nanowrimo proyect a month earlier. 15 kigdoms: Between two heavens WIP

Sorry if I came off as blunt I really didn’t mean to offend you

Oh, no, not publish, that’s not my goal, at all. My writing skills or even worse, my edit skills aren’t good enough. The editor would take all money, lol. If people loved it and ask for it, I would ask Cog if they want to edit it and publish, but being realistic that won’t happen in this universe.
@Odds_word No problem, but another time thinks if you are reading someone that is from other culture, and you aren’t helping him learn English being an ass.

As a fellow non native english speaker, I’d like to give a bit of advice regarding learning english. From what I’ve seen you write on the forums, your vocabulary seems fine, but your biggest two problems as I see them are:

  1. Trying to translate expressions from spanish to english ad litteram (I can tell you are doing this because romanian is relatively similar to spanish)

  2. Wrong usage of prepositions and various verb forms

I think your main focus right now should be the little things that are very repetitive in a language. Allow me to give an example:

If grammar, it’s your main concern, Then I hardly suggest you don’t read anything from me.

Oh, from a coding perspective is really easy make several stats screens each in either phase

You have the two cases mixed up. It should in fact be if grammar is your main concern, and from a coding perspective it’s really easy to make.

Think how often you use is and it’s in conversation. If you manage to get the handle of this, the effect you produce when you write something will improve tremendously.

As for translating expressions ad litteram, let’s take the expression you used above: I hardly suggest you don’t read anything from me.

It’s not the double negative that is the problem here. It’s the fact that you tried to to translate an expression from spanish literally. This expression exists also in romanian. We use the word hardly to emphasize something. In english it is the exact opposite. When you say “I hardly suggest that you do this” it means you really would not suggest it. What you are looking for here is the word “strongly”. I strongly suggest you don’t read anything from me. Strongly is used with the same figurative meaning as the word hardly from our two languages.

So basically my two advices boil down to this:

  1. When you think of an expression in spanish in which a word isn’t used with its literal meaning, try to remember if you’ve ever seen it used by anyone in a sentence in english in the same manner. If not, either grab a dictionary, or replace it with something you know.

  2. When you talk to people on these forums, try to identify small repetitive things that you see are consistently different from how you write. If you manage to find and fix a few of these, the quality of reading will improve visibly. Learning a few new words simply doesn’t have the same impact.

From experience, I can tell you that the best way to improve your grasp of a language is to have conversations, to pay close attention to the expressions and grammar quirks others are using, and to try to use those expressions and grammar quirks yourself in conversations afterwards.

Hope this helps. As for the game, what I am most curious about is how the two stories influence each other.

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My main problem is my observation skills are below zero, and propositions I always mistake them, for me there are all the same. In, at and on… :crying_cat_face: And about expressions, you are totally right, even if I am improving lately.

Observation helps a lot with the speed in which you learn a language, because you can deduce rules without much effort. Memory also plays a big role because the better the memory you have, the faster you can learn words.

That being said, observation and memory only affect the speed at which you learn a language. You can compensate lack of observation by in depth analysis. Start by dedicating more time to comparing people’s messages to yours. It may take more time but eventually you’ll start figuring it out.

You can do it!

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Thanks for your help, I am stubborn so I would learn, eventually.

Practice makes perfect :smile:

You speak better English than I speak any other language and you are at a point where those fluent in English can mentally correct what you’re saying and figure out what you said. That said it is difficult reading you so I would strongly suggest getting someone to proof-read and fix for you.

Muy chula la historia de Espana medieval parece muy original. Tambien me preguntaba si habia alguien para ayudar a traducir su historia?

Translate it to what?, It will be in English, or at least the most correct English I know. Like it is something thought and a slow process the writing structure etc is better. This can’t be in Spanish or other latin based language, not for the code itself. Our languages using gender variety terms a nightmare for something like a cog, I will put here an example, A feminine and a masculine test has to be different All text.
if (gender =“feminine” )
Eres l
a* chica mas famosa de todo el pueblo
if (gender =“masculine” )
Eres el chic
o* mas famoso de todo el pueblo.
As I said a complete nightmare.

@poison_mara Wow, this sounds incredible and totally original! :smiley:

Having all those different storylines sounds great! And as you can probably guess, I will likely be playing all of them many, MANY times! :smile:

And I can meet/play as Mara…AWESOME!! :smiley: :smiling_imp: Is she the same character as Poison Queen (Mara’s character from Guenevere) or is she different?

It’s a version of my D&D Mara, The first Mara I have ever designed . A bard and a spy. With a hard past . Her stats are basically a d&d stats and a character sheet. This has been thought as a D&D session from start that’s why it’s so different from a normal Cog . Also it’s related in two perspectives 1st with Mara 3th for medieval period. It’s weird but fun of write

Hooray for @poison_mara writing the WIP we’ve been asking for! It sounds fantastic, and I can’t wait to play it! :slight_smile:

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@poison_mara Will there be a demo? (Because I can’t wait to try it, and as I learned from Guenevere, games take a LONG time to make! :smile:)

On a side note…“kingdoms” is spelt with an n. :wink:

Good Luck @poison_mara, btw, can we attempt to fight this fate and end up jousting windmills, by any chance?

No, no wind mills there were none in castles also not wind mills at all in s XII Remember HISTORICAL ACCURACY it’s the key. It is fiction but all surrounding the story is accurate. Palace was real, cities were real. Nobles were real, same the guerrilleros and french soldiers. I aim to add the real documents in codex including foto of the castle. Sadly Mara wasn’t a real person back then a shame. Others facts are NOWADAYS FAKE but weren’t at that time believed as fake so it would be taken as real for history purpose. It would be funny watching all of you dying as flies because historical realism. Advice: sometimes a choice you think is fake. It’s a live or death situation in game. Sugar, water a clothing choice … “The queen in Spain has no legs”
@buggygirl11 A demo, a public one I think not. But a beta yes. This will be directly a small adventure, that could be implemented or not in future … Mara could have many other missions during Peninsula wars. We called them Independence war and parallels with American independence are as many as the deep difference. Your people wanted freedom and independence we wanted independence and continuity our kings and our religious system from medieval. Napoleon tried to sell people they come to freedom us from the Ancient regime chains. The reply was one he couldnt see it coming VIVAN LAS CADENAS Long Live the chains! Usa could have learned that before enter Vietnam or Soviet regime in Afghanistan. Sorry each time I started talking about history, I end making walls.

Why not make your cog game in your native language instead of struggling to make it in another language? It might come out better that way and would allow other spainish speakers that don’t speak english to enjoy your work, just food for thought though so I mean no offense. But either way I look forward to your demo.

Because
1-It’s impossible wrote it in Spanish. I tried with other demos, the effort would be insane. Why? Spanish as a Latin based language is gender specific each adjective, adverb in English is genderless while in Spanish is different for each gender. Totally separate text from each changing almost all wording choices included.
2-I made this to get better in English, not for profit or publication. This would never be my goal at all. If I made this in my own language I won’t learn nothing. And almost no one here understands Spanish in the first place .

Many Spanish language users are complaining all over about Why this is only in English. Spanish is one of the most important languages… My answer always makes them shut up. First, English is currently the new Latin, made something in that language opens a brand new doors. From knowing new people all over world to reaching a complete global audience. And last the fact of translation being complicated, more in a text based experience. The cost for an indie company is too high.

@adamthecowdog Mara did not promise us anything, she(I assume?) said that Fallout 4 comes out on the 10th, so because she will be playing that, she would be too busy to work on a NaNoWriMo project.

What has happened? I was in Fallout 4 marathon. I don’t finished this but still working on it . I never said it will be finished x day. Only that I started early because of the game .
And I am in no way obliged to give a game or demo or whatever here. Adam . The big demo i suppose will be presented at first dec but it’s not a release fixed schedule. I didn’t know people was so interested on this.

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I’m sorry mara it’s just I didn’t understand your first post and thought you ment that like fallout you would be putting this game up as well on the tenth. I didn’t mean anything by it I’m sorry if I have offended anyone. I’m adamthecowdog and this is my message. Just trying to be cool.