Morning Star: Heaven's Number One WIP (Poll on post # 61)


✩。:•.── 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 ──.•:。✩

Welcome to this thread! I’m Nacre and this is one of the WIPs I’m currently working on.

✩•.─ 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 ─.•✩

You play as the fallen Archangel Lucifer, fighting to keep control over the entities of the universe.

genres: romance, bromance, dark fantasy, supernatural, mystery, philosophy

✩•.─ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ─.•✩

Through Hell and back - that’s quite an understatement for what you’ve been through.

Falling from Heaven, being imprisoned in the deepest pit of Hell and waking up in an empty alley completely broken…
Life has certainly not been easy on you, but it’s not like you to let it wear you down. Now that you’ve mostly returned to your old strength, you have rebuilt your empire on Earth. You have a blooming business consisting of various clubs and bars, are very popular and you know lots of people who owe you lots of favors.

And as is basic knowledge, with power comes problems and it’s not too long until you are confronted with one. No surprises here, but somehow this time, you can’t seem to solve it on your own…

✩•.─ 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 ─.•✩
  • Romance/ befriend 7 individual characters, be it angel, demon or human. Polyamorous and asexual routes included!

  • Try to stay sane - you can’t die, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll live

  • Play as male/female/non-binary and choose your sexual orientation

  • Corrupt angels, reconcile with Their Grace or stay out of everyone’s business

  • Visit Heaven and Hell

  • Prepare for battle; there’s always someone you need to fight

A list of things that await you~

✩•.─ 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ─.•✩

There are 7 ROs with set genders.
All ROs can be romanced by any MC! You can romance three angels, a demon or/and three? humans.
Descriptions may contain spoilers!

Angels:

Raphael - The Healer he/him
Archangel Raphael is known to be the most beautiful of the angels, his beauty only rivaling yours. For which he was jealous of you, even before your fall. Falito has always been rather cross and distant towards you, but you never knew why. His hospitality and hatred have unsurprisingly grown since your disgrace, but at least you know it has nothing to do with your status, but with your person. It always amused you, how easy he got riled up.
He is the angel of healing and protection, his virtue is Chastity. Although close angels share their Grace in a bond, Raphael is known for his purity. He is close to Mike and Gabriel. His weapon is a longsword.
Raphael has long black hair, bound with a blue ribbon matching his eyes. His skin has a porcelain color. He is very tall and lean, his whole posture radiating elegance. if only his character would match his noble looks.

Gabriel - The Messenger she/her
Archangel Gabriel is the Messenger of God, acting as a Dominion sometimes. She is calm and has a great sense of responsibility. Even though she treats you with respect, you know she doesn’t trust you, her intelligent eyes always wary in your presence. You also noticed that she’s somewhat of a stalker.
Gab is known for her Diligence. She is the bearer of the Horn of Truth and she uses a broadsword.
Gabriel is tall and slender with narrow light gray, sometimes purple shining eyes, and ivory skin. Her hair is platinum blonde, reaching just below her ears.

Araqiel - The Guardian she/her
Principality Araqiel is responsible for the newer angels, guiding and teaching them. She takes on the role what humans call a ‘mother’ and supervises the other angels. You always preferred to call her a ‘hen’, but only in your head because otherwise she would rip your soul and feel bad afterwards. She’s actually the third party along with Uri and Mike to mourn your fall.
As a Principality, Ara is one of the higher ranked angels, but her powers are nowhere near the Seraphim, less the Archangels. But she has the advantage of having a majority of the angels under her command. Many are loyal to her, cherishing her love for every single one of them.
Ara has umber skin covering her short frame. Dark brown curls reach her waist and her brown eyes are always kind.

Demon:

Lilith she/her
The first wife of Adam, made of the same clay. When she refused to lay with Adam, God created Eve. Jealous of those two, Lilith tricked them to eat the forbidden fruit of the Tree of Knowledge and caused human kind to be cast out of the Gardens of Eden. Saved by your Grace and and corrupted by the pits of Hell, Lilith became one of the first demons. Together with Asmodeus she created the Lilim - the first succubi and incubi. Fierce and determined, her wrath is directed to anyone who dares disrespect her.
Lilith has ivory skin, jet black hair, emerald eyes and shapely scarlet lips. She is of average height and lithe. Her beauty rivals those of angels.

Humans:

Camus Morgulis he/him
A Nephilim of unknown history and your personal bodyguard. Camus swore an oath to protect you no matter the cost and although you do not know the reason behind his utmost loyalty, you are glad to have him by your side. He is both skilled with weapons and the use of his uncorrupted Grace. His main occupation is to deal with your matters on the Material Plane. The stoic mask of your bodyguard never falters, keeping his cool in every situation, though there were a few times you witnessed shards of his morbid humor. More importantly, there’s something oddly familiar about him on which you can’t put your finger on…
Camus is tall, has fair skin, blue eyes and silver hair styled in an undercut. Most of his body and face is scarred, and although he possesses angelic Grace, his age is partly visible. He always has a three-day beard.

Gervaso Machiavelli he/him
A broker on of the Material Plane, Mac organizes your deals with the other chiefs of the underground. You don’t know much about him, despite the fact that he is manipulative and highly evasive when it comes to answering personal questions. He’s mostly distracting you with flirts and jokes, never being too serious about anything. No how matter how easygoing he may appear, you know that he is a very dangerous person and trusting him would be a mistake.
Mac is of average height with naturally tan skin, dark eyes and a broken nose. His hair is shoulder-length and wavy. Underneath his clothes hides a fit and toned body which you won’t see, because he’s always clothed up to his teeth.

Paloma Cohen she/her
A mortal detective determined to put down every single crime lord in her town. She’s blissfully unaware of the supernaturals residing on earth and you would call her attempts to arrest the crime lords cute if it wasn’t for her persistence. You haven’t decided whether to trust her or not, but she’s causing you quite the trouble either way. You have the feeling that you will meet frequently from now on…
Paloma has fiery red curls kept in a bun most times and freckled skin. She’s short and lithe, has light gray eyes and a button nose. It’s almost scary how much she resembles Eve.

Entities that might make you swoon~

✩•.─ 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ─.•✩

You’ll meet various different characters throughout the game, including the rest of the Archangels, the Demon Sires and other entities.

Other characters that you’ll encounter on your journey~

✩•.─ 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬 ─.•✩

Should Gabriel be a non-binary character?

Who is the most interesting RO?

About the characters and the game~

✩•.─ 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 ─.•✩

Currently working on chapter 3 & fixing placeholders and errors (last update 02/12/2020)

Current word count without code around 25.000 words in 2 and a half men chapters

Progress and changes~

✩•.─ 𝐇𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 ─.•✩
Stats and their meanings

Quaint vs Somber: do you see things more in a positive light or is life just passing by you?

Candid vs Sly: do you let your friends and enemies know what you plan to do with them or do you prefer keeping them in the dark?

Benign vs Malign: is there still some angelic Grace left in you or are you already wholely corrupted?

Sanity

Just a quick word for your safety: Mixed feelings are no good in neither the real world nor this game. You shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re going down the evll path. Just enjoy it buddy.

A few tips for the game~

✩•.─ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ─.•✩


[ This story contains mature themes such as violence, murder, sexual themes, drugs, alcohol and strong language. I’d suggest you play it only if you’re over 16! Please reconsider playing if you have depression or struggle with suicidal thoughts ]


✩•.─ 𝐄𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐬 ─.•✩

Check out my other WIP Joint Venture!

Visit my tumblr page for updates and trivia!

Buy me a Ko-fi if you’re feeling generous

Here’s the demo (again).

324 Likes

2 wips on a single day…Noice.

5 Likes

Brilliant. Obviously it’s loosely based on the TV show Lucifer so that added extra bonus points.

12 Likes

There’s a Lucifer Tv show?

2 Likes

Yes you can watch it on Netflix it’s a really good show. Lucifer comes to earth from hell and has a club called Lux and becomes infuriated with a female detective called Chloe Decker.

4 Likes

For the love of God , this is really amazing!! can’t wait for more!

5 Likes

Finally! I will definitely watching this thread. All hail Lucifer :grin::grin:

2 Likes

Nice introduction. Although I do wonder what happen to them during the time when the MC and Lilith falls.(I get that they are tormented and their soul is torn apart but how the hell(heh) Lilith becomes the devil that she is?)

2 Likes

Brother, there are 5 seasons go watch it man highly recommend. If you’re into detective shows with some pretty good comedy on the side this is the show for you.

1 Like

@Nacre This! This my friend is one of my top 5 best wip. Brilliant prologue, beautiful story! And the characters! Bro this… I have no words to express how feel. Just give me the next update that’s all I ask. I feel like I’m gonna cry right now…

1 Like

Yep it’s on Netflix. It’s really good

1 Like

Thank you for all the feedback!! :blush:I didn’t really watch the show, but I liked it anyway.

And the reason for how she became like that will be revealed, don’t worry :eyes:

I mean you did make me cry, thank you :heart_eyes:

4 Likes

Hello! I will be writing my thoughts as I go:

  • I think you should revise the Adam/Lilith confrontation at the beginning. Right now it reads as very problematic to me, though I don’t think you meant for it to seem this way. You describe Lilith, the kind and beautiful woman, as pale and white-skinned, and Adam, the aggressor and misogynist/attempted rapist, as dark-skinned. For me, this immediately reminded me of stories in the US of white women making false allegations against black men. This is still an ongoing problem in the world, and in the US specifically, as described in this article here. Combined with Adam being portrayed as aggressive, short-tempered, harsh, etc. it gives me a lot of really bad vibes.
  • You should also add a bit more for us to develop our connection with Lilith. It currently comes off as a bit forced, but if you allowed us to make more choices in our connection to her or made it more one-sided, I think that would feel more freeing for the reader.
  • You have really good prose, but there are a lot of pages without any sort of player interaction. I hope to see more of it added!
16 Likes

Great premise! I can see you’ve put a lot of time and thought into this project. I enjoyed what I’ve read so far, however I have some comments.

  1. I feel the text to choice ratio is a bit unbalanced. Although I enjoyed the lore you created, I would appreciate being a part of it by being able to make more choices, even if they don’t all have a major impact on the story. E.g. given a choice how to react to the Throne room: entranced? Repulsed? Indifferent?
  2. I felt forced into some of the choices which made it difficult for me to immerse myself into my character. Personally, I felt angry at Lillith. I felt she used my trust to get back at Adam and Eve and I would have liked to be able to choose how I felt about her and in turn reacted towards her. So maybe you can give us choices regarding our relationship with her e.g. when we seek her out is it because we are bored? Enjoy her friendship? Find her attractive? Feel it is an obligation? I would appreciate having more control over my character

Otherwise a great game and I look forward to your progress :sunflower:

16 Likes

Oh my god, I only meant to make them look different. Like I didn’t want all three to be white and I have a reason for Eve to be, but that was obv a mistake! I’ll change that, sorry.

That’s intended, because she’s basically the reason Lucifer fell (well as a metaphor, but you get the point). I will leave it up to you, whether you continue to have her around you and if you have forgiven her, but as it is now she will be around Lucifer as her right hand.

You’re right, but it was difficult for me to set the atmosphere and including choices, but I will pay attention to it! Your feedback helps me a lot, so thank you for taking your time and writing it! I hope you’ll continue reading • ◡•

That’ll definitely be a thing!

In the past, Lucifer had kind of a “set” personality as a responsible Archangel. Only after the humans arrived, they started thinking. So basically the first chapters are with little choice, but I promise there will be more interactions in the future! Thank you for the comment!

10 Likes

This game is super cool! :grin: Thanks for the demo!

This was great! can’t wait to see where this story goes from here :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

FINALLY I can play as Lucyyy! And also thanks for adding the option to make Lucifer female. It really made me happy
:’)

5 Likes

I like can’t wait to play it

This is great! Officially one of my favorite WIPs. Some suggestions though? Maybe you can make the angels, Adam, and Eve not seem pure evil? Because it would be pretty weird if God and the angels were on the side of evil. Also does Lucifer not receive any respect from demons as the Devil and First of the Fallen? Another thing was that Lucifer seemed kinda weak? Or is that part of the story. :slight_smile:

1 Like