@Personaddict07 Good questions! Lot is a King in his own right, ruling the area around Edinburgh. His Kingdom (Gododdin) been independent ever since the Romans pulled back from the Antonine wall, and he’s used to dealing with the Kings of the Britons on a broadly equal footing. Previous High Kings have generally continued the Roman policy of giving the Kings of Gododdin regular gifts in return for keeping the Picts away from their lands, and to keep Gododdin’s own raiding to a minimum. King Lot has a spiel about that in his speech to Mordred, which is broadly accurate (if self-serving).
The balance of power is shifting in Chapter 1 as Lot is forced to accept Arthur as High King in return for his aid in battle. That’s going to put pressure on Rheged and the other northern kingdoms, who are nominally sworn to Arthur but practically independent, and who are understandably less than pleased with the arrangement.
I made Gawain the younger brother for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because I wanted Mordred to have a claim to being Uther’s “rightful” heir (Queen Anna is Uther’s only surviving legitimate child, and Mordred’s her firstborn son). Secondly, because I wanted Mordred to have a somewhat precarious existence in Lothian (at least if you haven’t chosen the Warrior background). If you’ve chosen the Scholar or Wastrel background then your Mordred isn’t perceived to have the right qualities to be king… but you’re in the way of someone who does. Gawain’s generally quite fond of Mordred, and doesn’t have the ambition or ruthlessness to want you out of the picture, but not everyone around him shares his scruples. King Urien has a few things to say about that if you talk to him before the battle. If you wanted to be cynical about it, you could even read Lot’s decision to give Mordred to Arthur as a hostage as a plot to get him killed… or at least make way for Gawain to succeed his father.
I’ve seen speech italicised in a few older books, and am quite fond of the way it looks. However, you’re now the second person who’s mentioned finding it distracting so I may (reluctantly) need to reassess that. Does anyone else want to weigh in either way before I make the call?
“Twenty good men…” I hadn’t made the connection between Mordred’s night raid and GoT, but it seems weirdly fitting. Might well need to work in something to that effect.
Oh, and I’ve written Agravaine and Gaheris out of the picture. Didn’t want to give the reader too many characters to keep track of, and they seemed fairly superfluous.
Just be aware, the use of italics and bold is discouraged by the HG editors because it is a compatibility issue for people with reading disabilities - I like the use personally, as long as it isn’t overdone.
I don’t recognize some of the names here, so we may be basing off different versions of Arthurian lore. I base mine off the version where Morgause is Lot’s wife and one of Uther’s legitimate children–Morgana Le Fay is the other. Keep the myriad interpretations and versions of Arthurian myth in mind when you write. (Not a nitpick, just a reminder)
All in all, you have a good WIP in your hands. Very interested in seeing how it will turn out
P.S: In future developments, I’d suggest including a map. Keeping track of all the names and locations must be difficult haha
Even Lancelot was a later addition. look how famous he is now. Arthur himself is known for assigning quests rather than leading wars and invasions these days. And Guinevere has as many versions as she must have clothes; ranging from fainting damsel, to faithful queen, to manipulative cuckold.
Arthurian myth is funny. (Also tragic, but I digress.)
Thank you all for your comments on the italics. It seems the majority opinion is in favour of keeping things as they are, which is a relief - can’t say I was much looking forward to hunting through my game files to get rid of them!
@Personaddict07 Absolutely - and that’s one of the things that’s making this so much fun to write. There are a lot of contradictions between the different tellings of the Arthurian stories, which can be mixed and matched to create an entirely new narrative without significantly departing from the “canon”.
Queen Anna is more commonly known as Morgause in modern retellings of the Arthurian legends… but I thought the similarities between the names Mordred, Morganna and Morgause might get a bit confusing for the reader. Anna’s also an old Latin name, which fits her background as a Romanised Briton.
You can access information on the various characters and locations through the buttons in the stats screen. Supplementing that information with a map is probably a good shout… might need to look into that the next time I have a free afternoon.
Oh, and I added a very small update last night, with a little more of the battle if Mordred chooses to assist his father. There’s a new choice, but none of the options lead anywhere yet.
Okay, here’s the map you requested, showing all the places that have been referenced in play so far. I’ll flesh out Southern Britain and Wales a bit more as Mordred explores them in later chapters.
I’ve added a bit more content, with another couple of choices if Mordred allows the Picts to surrender.
The game also now tracks Mordred’s sword and horse. Those sort of details tend to loom large in Arthurian fiction, and the story didn’t feel quite right without them.
@Protagonist Love the work you have done so far, and I want to echo others’ commendations of your superb writing style. I do have a humble suggestion to make, though. Considering your decision to have three distinct “origin paths” for Mordred, it seems a little strange to only have two attribute stats. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the originality, and “bloodshed” and “guile” sound immensely more descriptive than having a combat and persuasion or intelligence stat, but the reader who chooses the scholar path may feel a little left out due to the traditional definition of guile. I would suggest adding either a stat having to do more with intelligence, such as strategy or knowledge, and cleaving that aspect away from guile, or simply rolling the two paths together in keeping with the stats. There would remain the fact that guile does seem quite a bit stronger than bloodshed generally (though, as most of my characters are the silver-tongued nerds, I am incredibly biased). Just my two cents on trying to help you. Of course the story is yours, an expression of yourself, and whatever you feel best will probably lead to the most satisfactory story. Anyways, I really enjoyed this and can’t wait for future updates!
@FutbolDude21586 Yeah, the night attack’s a bit overdue now… I actually received a very similar nudge from a friend recently to hurry up and get it finished.
The unfinished paths through Chapter 1 are generally the parts I’m finding it hardest to write. And, unfortunately, the night attack’s very close to the top of that pyramid.
@Rav3nsblad3 You’re right that the stats still need a bit of work. (Another point that occurs to me is the potential overlap between Bile and Cruelty… I should probably rebrand that.)
I had originally planned to give Mordred a separate knowledge stat (which would have been called ‘Lore’), but felt that it might be a bit underpowered compared with the other abilities. After all, Dark Age Britain wasn’t exactly a pinnacle of enlightenment… and that’s going to limit what Mordred can achieve with his scholarly knowledge. There are definitely differences between the Scholar and Wastrel backgrounds and their aptitudes, but I’m planning to reference the variables that have been set up for each background rather than giving them different stats.
Tonight’s update sees the first installment of the night raid, which is becoming a lot bigger than originally intended (1,343 words so far). Thanks for the nudge @FutbolDude21586, it was exactly what I needed!
I’ve also worked in the “twenty good men” reference that @Personaddict07 suggested - which seemed very fitting. (Although, even at his most villainous, Mordred is unlikely to be in the same league as Ramsay Bolton).
I’ve added a bit more of the night raid, and made a few more edits elsewhere. Weighing up including a scene with the Pictish prophetess, although my current inclination’s not to stretch Chapter 1 out any further.
Another update’s up, with the next tranche of the night raid in case your Mordred chose to lie in his initial conversation with Lancelot , and some introductory text for Chapter 2.
We’re now at 25,834 words. Guess that would have been a complete game back when CoG started. As it is, Chapter 1 alone’s likely to be in the 35,000 - 40,000 range. I’m likely to be doing a fair bit of fine tuning once I’ve finished writing the chapter, and suggestions for improvement are very welcome.
I hadn’t made the connection between Mordred’s night raid and GoT, but it seems weirdly fitting. Might well need to work in something to that effect.
look how famous he is now. Arthur himself is known for assigning quests rather than leading wars and invasions these days. And Guinevere has as many versions as she must have clothes; ranging from fainting damsel, to faithful queen, to manipulative cuckold.
