Monsters(WIP)- updated 04/27/17 -Link is updated

adult-fiction
gender-choice

#2506

I’ve gone through the April ttaal section, adding in more variety to her answers to your questions. You won’t be able to get all of these variations in one playthrough unless you’re checking the code. Next I’ll be adding more to the Chelsam/Adavid conversation in the van.


#2507

Okay. I’ve been adding character-specific content to the Chelsam/Adavid van conversation all morning, and I’m halfway through that. (I have the gals covered, still need to fill in for the guys, though) I feel like I’m moving at a good pace again- but that I’m so far behind where I feel I should have been getting a start on all this, well- …well, at least I’m at a pace once again. 2,112 words this morning.

There’s a lot ahead. I think I get intimidated during the editing stage, much of the time. Perhaps it not having sunk in what all I still need to do is a good thing, as I focus on one thing at a time right now. I miss my wonderful fans, though. You all make this very truly worthwhile to me. :slight_smile:


#2508

@Shawn_Patrick_Reed

Aww! :blue_heart: Don’t worry, we’re all still around-look at those 19 likes you got when you announced you’d be working on this again!

But you probably mean you miss the fan discussions on the thread. :smirk: Well, okay. I shall discuss. :thinking:

You mentioned a while back that Sean is narcissistic. I basically said I didn’t see it. Especially when comparing him to Chelsea or April (both painfully obvious narcissists), he doesn’t come off as all that arrogant. The MC can even tell him he’s full of shit without him getting mad. If someone said that to April or Chelsea, I imagine it would get real ugly real fast (hopefully just verbally…hopefully).

But then I saw that line of dialogue about Sean dismissing an MC who is balking at what the cult is saying about the world ending if they don’t kill with an extremely condescending “A child does not know fire is hot until they touch it. Even if they are told.” And that’s when I realized; Sean treats everyone around him like they’re children or students to his teacher. He doesn’t talk WITH people as equals, he gives lectures to them. Everyone else except McCready, even April, can listen to the MC and acknowledge that an argument of theirs has merit. Sean only acknowledges something as intelligent when it agrees with what he already thinks. If it doesn’t, it is sorely mistaken and in need of correction-there is no other option. In his great benevolence, he allows people to voice differing opinions, but only in order to correct them and show off his oratory skills doing it.

Well, usually he does…unless he’s not in the mood to waste his time, as April found out when she got a pencil stuck in her mid-sentence while disagreeing with Sean. Especially telling is Sean’s reaction to what he did-he wasn’t angry at her and didn’t lose his temper there; he just viewed the whole thing as disciplining a misbehaving child. In his view, he told her politely to sit down and leave the MC alone, and if she chose not to obey-well, it’s punishment time. Nothing personal (to him). Much the same thing likely would have happened if Jack and McCready didn’t sit down when he ordered them to when they were about to kill each other. Which explains why those two, who both have explosive tempers and Jack with his issues with authority besides, sat RIGHT down and shut up when Sean said the word.

Huh. I wonder if that’s where April got the idea that sticking someone with a pencil because they say something you don’t like is just “consequences.”


#2509

Slow going though it is, the writing is crawling along. It’s in one of those ‘molasses speed’ phases.

@buggygirl11 It makes me grin that someone ‘gets’ Sean, at least something very core with how he is.


#2510

Love what I’ve read so far!
Sorry if this has been asked before, but will we be able to… make arrangements for the deaths of some of the others? cough McCready and Sonya cough


#2511

@komorebi, yep, all of them can be killed.

Thinking about what @buggygirl11 wrote, I realized there’s something about Jack that truly scared me in one of my playthroughs.

“[…]Not that I’d actually hit a woman without giving her a chance to defend herself, but women these days want to be treated equal, right? So part of that is getting your ass handed to you and taking it like a man.[…]”

Well thank you, you fucking psychopath.

“[…]And I’m a nice fucking guy. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the nice guy, bitch![…]”

Quick tip: if someone tells you he is a nice guy, he certainly isn’t.

This doesn’t mean he stopped being my fav, but I can see part of the monster in him now.

@Shawn_Patrick_Reed I’m really happy you’re working on this again :grin: I love this WIP.


#2512

@pimenita If you think that’s scary…well, it gets worse. The part about “Not that I’d actually hit a woman without giving her a chance to defend herself” is not, strictly speaking, true. If you don’t shake his hand, he’ll beat any MC, male or female, into the ground.

Though Jack’s scariest scene (in my opinion, of course) is if you tell him that Sean told you Sonya was the one who killed CJ.

Jack pushes you to arms length and holds you there. “What.” he asks flatly, which doesn’t sound like a question at all.
_ _
“Sean said that Sonya was the one who killed him. And I don’t know, Jack. I don’t know what to do.”

At about this time, you catch the blank, almost disappointed stare that Jack is giving you. “Seriously, ${bro}? I actually open myself up to you a little bit, and you start telling me shit to try to turn me against my family? Fuck that!” The corner of Jack’s mouth is twitching when he closes it. “That’s some devious shit. Fuck, maybe you do belong.” Then, without warning, almost as a twitch of his arm, you feel the wind leave your lungs as Jack’s fist connects with your stomach. You can’t breathe. You can’t breathe!
_ _
“Don’t make the dumbfuck mistake of thinking a bit of human decency and trust are the same damn thing! Trying to lump shit together is a fucking christian-ass nunk-head way to be Darwin-award stupid, fucker! I’ve spent four years with them. I may sometimes hate the fuck out of the family the way it is, but don’t you think you can tear our shit apart. Or so help me, I will rip you a new asshole, is that clear? Show a bit of, fuck, RESPECT! And now I sound like the fuckin’ Creed. What the fuck ever!” Jack blurts, holding his hands briefly to the sides of his head and quickly pushing them out. “No more story, I’m fucking out. And here I was, going to even be nice to you. I’m fucking nice, you understand? You could try it too. Actually, hell, maybe that’s just what you fucking need. A bit of fucking metal always calms me down, maybe it’ll help you cool your head.” he reaches into the plastic bag he brought down and pulls out an Ipod with earbuds. Really nice earbuds, at that. And he jams them into your ears as you finally draw a gasping, faltering breath. Swallow, swallow, swallow, breathe. Then there’s a roar of rage in your ears and you figure you’re going to die. Until your mind turns over and you realize it’s the beginning of one of the songs on Jack’s Ipod. Jack flips you the bird, then saunters off like a bristling animal, seems to remember something, and turns back to yank the chain to the light hard enough you’re afraid it might pop out of the ceiling, and you’re plunged into darkness. Screaming, frenetic darkness.

This scene can only happen to a female MC who just opened up to him about her family issues, BTW. Yep, so literally one second he was hugging her and saying he was sorry for what she went through, and the next he’s punching the poor helpless tied-up girl in the stomach. Because she told him something he didn’t want to hear.

I normally like Jack a lot…but this was a disturbing scene to say the least.

“[…]And I’m a nice fucking guy. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the nice guy, bitch![…]”

Quick tip: if someone tells you he is a nice guy, he certainly isn’t.

Certainly not when the telling you ends with “bitch.” THAT’S not very nice. :smirk:

Joking aside though, your quick tip made me think. In probably the darkest part of the darkest time of my life, I said (for some reason, don’t really remember the context, don’t really want to) “I’m always nice.” The person I said it to scoffed at that and actually laughed a little. (Another quick tip: if someone laughs at your declaration that you’re a nice person, it miiight be time to examine your life choices.)

I probably said it out of insecurity about whether it was true, honestly. Insecurity is probably why Jack feels the need to say it as well. He wants to believe he’s a nice person, but can’t quite even convince himself he is.

And while we’re on the subject…between the food and the jacket and telling an extremely personal story after knowing the MC a grand total of 24 hours, and in general acting like he and the MC are friends (one of whom just so happens to be tied up at the moment), it’s clear that Jack really really wants, probably even needs on a deep emotional level, for the MC to like him. Why does he care so much? Well, a couple of his lines (like the “You’re fucked” when the MC asks what’s going on, and telling an MC that’s about to die for failing their test that “Better this way, anyway”) indicate that he might actually think that him and the rest are forcibly consigning the MC to a fate worse than death. Even if you can’t stand the sight of someone, that’s still a pretty shitty thing to do. If you actually like them…there are no words for how awful that is. So if the MC likes Jack…then maybe he’s not such a monster.

Or maybe I’m totally wrong. Jack has so far been the hardest character for me to read-he’s just such a contradictory enigma. Which makes him really interesting, but also really difficult to analyze correctly. :sweat_smile:


#2513

That’s prejudice against all us nice guys /s


#2514

Holy fucking shit that’s, well, monstrous. Yeah, that side of him is a big Nope for me. It seriously freaks me out.

So so true, Anna. I think the thing about Jack is he doesn’t have anything but the family. Remember when he says something like “the world outside is ten times worse” or something along those lines? He really believes being outside the cult, being alone, is worse than killing people. That’s sooo fucked up.

My man Jack is starving for love and acceptance. It is sort of ominous that he tells MC that they remind him of Switch… and then he proceeds to tell them what he did to the guy. I think he uses MC as a second chance to do the right thing, because even when Switch threw him under the bus, Jack still feels extremely guilty about ending him (and in such a vicious way).

I read him as being two people, which is why he is, as you pointed out, contradictory. One part of him wants to belong to the family, he needs to have someone having his back; the other part wants out so desperately that it’s almost selfdestructive. I mean: if he has a good relationship with MC, he tries to convince them to stay, to really try to appease the others, he says “you’ll fit right in” because if MC don’t then that’s game over for Jack too, because as of late the idea of “family” he held so high has been breaking appart (Sonya doesn’t have romantic feelings for him, McCready “stole” wrath from him, he doesn’t like Sean but he has to do what he says; that’s not family, family doesn’t use you). It’s almost as if he’s saying, Please, let me have this. This person seems decent enough. Then, if he doesn’t like MC he’ll be like Why do I even bother? He will try to off them and hurt them really bad. The difference between Jack killing MC, and Sean or April doing it, is Sean and April know what to say to convince the others; Jack is mostly anger and chaos, so a few more mistakes and someone could decide he’s more trouble than he’s worth, which is again, Jack acting in a selfdestructive way because he has nothing to lose and that depresses him. And let’s not forget he has experience walking down that road.

At his core, I think Jack is a good person, but goddamn he is terrifying, and the worst part is he doesn’t even realize how much.

tl;dr: MC is, in Jack’s eyes, his last hope, and at the same time he’s so full of anger and distrust for the human race he’s like a stray dog with 50/50 chances he’ll let you pet it, or he’ll bite your face off.


#2515

Jack is scary when he’s upset. The time when MC friends was being killed and such I went to him to talk and then he freaking tried to kill me in the water. He used a fishing rod to try to take me to him and my hand got cut like omg! :scream:


#2516

@pimenita

Holy fucking shit that’s, well, monstrous. Yeah, that side of him is a big Nope for me. It seriously freaks me out.

Sooner or later, that side of him will probably come out though. It’ll probably be one of the big hurdles for MCs who are in a romance and maybe even a friendship with Jack; whether they can deal with it or work through it or whether it’s a deal breaker.

I think the thing about Jack is he doesn’t have anything but the family. Remember when he says something like “the world outside is ten times worse” or something along those lines? He really believes being outside the cult, being alone, is worse than killing people.

I can see that. :thinking: Looking at it from Jack’s POV…you have no family, you were living on the streets, you just killed your best friend, if you turn the cult into the cops you’re risking being thrown in jail too for killing Switch (“But the bastard deserved it!” usually doesn’t quite cut the mustard for these officer of the law types). So he could choose to go back to that old life, or possibly to a long jail term, or choose a family (or at least so they say), the girl he loves, and a life with a purpose and a freaking superpower. I don’t know, which would YOU choose?

It might not have turned out so well for Jack, but it probably seemed like a good decision at the time.

It is sort of ominous that he tells MC that they remind him of Switch… and then he proceeds to tell them what he did to the guy.

I don’t think any of my MCs got THAT segue into the story, but I’ve seen it in the code, and yeah, it is rather ominous. Like, um…Jack, is that a compliment or an insult or a threat or all three?

One part of him wants to belong to the family, he needs to have someone having his back; the other part wants out so desperately that it’s almost selfdestructive.

Yeah, that could definitely make sense of some of the contradictory things he says-he doesn’t know what he wants.

a few more mistakes and someone could decide he’s more trouble than he’s worth

True. Even sadder is that Jack KNOWS this. If you tell him about seeing Sonya with Adavid/Chelsam, he’ll talk about the MC ruining the last chance he has left with the family.

he doesn’t like Sean but he has to do what he says; that’s not family, family doesn’t use you

They don’t? You must have had a nice family, Pime.

if he has a good relationship with MC, he tries to convince them to stay

Oh, definitely. To the point where he seems to be, like a used-car salesman, making things sound better than they are so that the MC will buy the proverbial car and hopefully make his miserable life better. (Interesting tie in with the Greed sin, actually-trying to “sell” the cult.)

Mmm…maybe a better analogy would be that he’s like the drowning man that tries to save himself by grabbing on the person next to them and using them as a flotation device. You might very well save yourself that way…but you’ll probably drown the other person. Or you might both drown. If you’re VERY lucky, the person you’re accidentally on purpose drowning might be able to save you both. Most people aren’t that lucky.

Sean and April know what to say to convince the others; Jack is mostly anger and chaos

A good rule for trying to convince someone of something is that you either have to know it’s true yourself (whether or not it actually is) or know it’s a lie and focus on convincing THEM, like an actor does. You can’t try to convince someone else and convince yourself at the same time. It won’t work. And that’s what Jack seems to be trying to do.

At his core, I think Jack is a good person, but goddamn he is terrifying,

I think so too. He means well at least, unlike SOME PEOPLE. (Yeah McCready, who if you look at his code you’ll see he kills the MC during their initiation in the most brutal sadistic way you can imagine ONLY IF JACK’S RELATIONSHIP >59, so basically his motivation is to torture Jack emotionally by killing someone he cares about horribly right in front of him, I’m looking at you.)

and the worst part is he doesn’t even realize how much.

Yeah, sometimes to the point that it’s comical. :smile: Like when the MC asks him what he’s going to do, Jack acts all confused with his “Do? Nothing really.” Like he forgot he’s a serial killer talking to the tied up prisoner he may have tried to kill yesterday.

Why ever would the MC think he’s going to do something bad to them? It’s a mystery, really. :rofl:


#2517

Is there any way to have sex with Sonya in the current version? Or is she just a tease?


#2518

The short answer is yes, it depends on which character you play, your stats and what you do, and Sonya will always be a tease XD


#2519

Oh I knew she’d always be a tease lol. But good to know that’s it’s possible, I guess I’ll go try that out


#2520

Do you have any tips though? Because I’ve been trying to do it like all day


#2521

It has been a long time since I played through try using Ashley, get a high lust, always pick the most flamboyant and provocative option, try and play nice with her lil sis, but keep that pride down. Now the hard part is; the order of what you do at camp, and that is trial and error if you see Sonya banging someone else you did something wrong or out of order.


#2522

Do you have to play as a girl to do it?


#2523

All my playthroughs were as a girl


#2524

No you do not. You can also get the achievement with David and whatsherface. I think it’s easier too.

Sonya likes lust and… humility. It’s why I’m always on her bad side and I have April to protect me.


#2525

:slight_smile: Hey there everyone~

@Swiftflame Any of the characters should work, it just depends on your choices. As to when it can happen- it involves leaving the cabin, and bumping into her as you’re heading out the door- she’ll indicate whether this will happen around when everyone is unloading the van. Easiest way would be bunking with Chelsam/Adavid and turning them down. I think it can also happen bunking with Jack, but it’s been so long I’m not actually sure without checking.

Sorry I didn’t join in on the nifty Jack discussion y’all had last week. My head’s been largely on a bunch of games that have come out recently and hungrily reading a book called ‘Sins of Empire’ last week. I foresee my writing picking up considerably after the 18th this month. I feel like I’ve been going about making progress horribly slowly lately… which is true, and very much the case.

Jack is… hmm. Contradictory is a suitable word for him. Conflicted is also a suitable word for him. There are things about Jack which remain to be learned, of course- such is the case for all the characters. I just hope I do proper justice to each when I reveal each of their deep dark secrets. :wink: And I do love having all my cherished characters looked at like a character study. ^ _ ^ I do think, at times, Jack doesn’t realize the full extent of how he comes across. In some ways, I think of him as being the most ‘in the middle’ sort of character, in that he tries to balance emotion and reason, and now and then is torn between them. From analytical to emotional, I’d say the scale goes Sean, April, Gran, Jack, McCready, Gary ahemcoughpasttense, Sonya.