Monsters(WIP)- updated 04/27/17 -Link is updated



@Lightsavior ‘thow’ is now ‘throw’. XD

@Lithophene Jack can be a romance option for a male character. Doing so is more difficult than for a female character, though, and if you miss it, you miss it. But possible, yes it will be.

@Eiwynn and @Pace675 It’s a good idea- if I don’t get caught up soon. It’s mostly that things are going to get very busy for me soon with CScomp and if I don’t finish the edits before that, I want to keep track of which I’ve finished and which I haven’t. So if I don’t finish them all, I’ll memo myself what I still have to do- and because there’s not a lot of time until the comp starts, whatever I do get to will be done in short order now. So I can just mention what I’ve gotten done. : )

Actually, on that note: Memo to self: 1. April’s 2taal section- consistency check. 2. Overhaul romantic relationship coding (to better allow for more than one). 3. Implement health system through the game.

Two and three will take a long time- because I’ll need to go through the entire script for all instances. But better now, before moving on to the next chapter.

@buggygirl11 Okay, so I ran a word search for prodestant to change them over- hopefully I’ve caught all instances- unless I misspelled it at any point, it should be fixed. ALSO, I found out that some interesting religion-specific text wasn’t showing up in the game because of improper capitalization on my part. Two things with one stone. I hope that I’ve now gotten all instances of capitalization consistent, but I’m not entirely 100% sure.


Yes, huzzah- a number of religion-specific bits should show up now, that the capitalization has been evened out.

@StrayPuppy I’d softly encourage [ spoiler ] tags for some of that. : D But I’m quite glad to get such a wonderfully emotionally straining reaction. ;D

@Ricemaker Chibi Mercy! tip the healer Ahem. I’m glad I’ve broken your expectations in a good way. On the save slots, I wanted to be sure there would be enough to have at least one per character, if someone wanted to play all of them. And to be able to have a backup slot for a current character in case (/when, probably) something goes horribly, horribly wrong.

@Kurvo I think I take that as a compliment?

@Tlud Same for you. Sounds like high praise. XD

@Banister Yes. Try to avoid spoiler-ish stuff by using spoiler tags, though. To do so- [ spoiler ] Whatever you want to say. [ /spoiler ] - without the spaces in the brackets.

@CowboyHooah salute Thank you sir. All the best in your OT. - I know, on character creation, it’s one thing people keep coming back to. I’m utilizing the various MCs as NPCs, too. I’m hoping the empathy people build playing as the characters extends into seeing them appear when playing as another character when they show up as an NPC. But there’s still a lot of work to be done in that area and a lot of story to go. Character creation ought to allow for some amount of stat customization and appearance customization, but I can’t see a way to allow a background/interest customization without changing a heckalot of the code. - Also, debating with McCready a small amount is possible at present, like asking ‘What about thou shalt not murder?’ It’s just a matter of pathing to get to it. And it’s not exactly very debate-y at present. But again, I have plans for a part of the story where that will happen.

@Eleckar Okay, wow. You’re up next- there are a lot of these so I need to take them one at a time. But I’ll see if I can get through your list tonight.


Oh, oh, @Lithophene -Not to forget this. Yeah, I’m aware of that one. About not really getting into a fight with Jack still leading to that. At present yeah, it kinda needs to be for the opening introduction if that happens, but I do want to come up with a way to smooth that out if you’re getting along.


I really like April. She’s on path to being the best character that I have ever read; in my fifth playthrough, I continually catch myself looking forward to her sections. The fact that she isn’t a RO makes her just that much better. The playlist you made for her contains some of my new favorite music. The best song is Get Some Sleep (I say at 2 in the morning)

I don’t hate Sonya anymore. She’s one of my least favorites, but hopefully her characters grows enough to where she isn’t always so pitiful.

Speaking of least favorites, that would be McCreedy. He needs to die. So annoying.

I would like more gore description on my first kill. How exactly did it die? Was it painful? I would also like more ways to kill him. Choose my own weapon, pace, catchphrase. That sort of thing. I did like the congratulatory speach, though.

If my last grammar check helped, I can pick it back up where I left off.

Congrats on finishing chapter 2, by the way. Excellent writing.


[quote=“Shawn_Patrick_Reed, post:2304, topic:10492”]
@Lithophene Jack can be a romance option for a male character. Doing so is more difficult than for a female character, though, and if you miss it, you miss it. But possible, yes it will be.
[/quote]Right on! :grin: Here’s hoping I don’t miss it.


[quote=“Lithophene, post:2308, topic:10492, full:true”]

Somehow I knew Jack was going to be in the eye of one of your MC’s … my only question is: will you commission a piece of art showing Jack and your MC? Perhaps as they go inside the cabin at the lake that fateful night? :innocent: :princess:


@Eleckar The grammar check you’ve done really, sincerely does help. Though there are a couple of things I’m stuck staring at trying to decide if I should change them or not. Stubbornness, I suppose. But I am working my way through the list and at least some amount of changes are taking place. A continuation is up to you, but if I’m doing a massive editing wave for the first two chapters where I go through the whole script anyway, might as well take care of everything I can.

@Lithophene To help you out- You’ll absolutely want to bunk with Jack during the hotel stay in the next chapter, and you’ll need to have fought with him (ie, got punched out by him) at some point in the story. I don’t have all the details until I write them, but you’ll want to join in on working out with him, and accept on having him teach you some self-defense. Have a high relationship with him, then flirt and make the right choices in the conversation that follows. Do so, and you’re in on the Jack route for a male character. A female character is partly similar, but there’s no need to have fought with him, and working out with him is optional- just the flirt and make the right choices part. Though that conversation might actually be trickier to navigate- I’m not sure yet. Just stay persistent. - And lo, one of my rare generous fore-spoiler moods.


Fun idea, but… it’s very doubtful. :joy: It’s mostly for two reasons: one, all of Jack’s tattoos would definitely cost me extra and two, I don’t know how I feel about investing in art for a character that isn’t technically mine, y’know? :sweat_smile:I like Mike, but he ain’t mine.

Huh… Does going redneck on Jack as Mike count as an opportunity to set that flag? It sounds like not all the guys get the opportunity to fight back against him when out in the woods with him. While not an angry fight with him, that’d be a good point for Jack to see that Mike has some fighting spirit but could use some proper training. I’m just brainstorming at this point mostly trying to figure out if I’m really gonna have to antagonize Jack just to romance him. :joy: Thanks for confirming though. You’re the best. :hugging:


@Shawn_Patrick_Reed THAT spoiler is definitely bookmarked! :smile: Muchas gracias!

This is probably a stupidly obvious question, but just to confirm (so I don’t have to retcon as many writeups later)…

Does trying to punch Jack and ending up KOed by him when he tries to put the handcuffs on the MC also set the fighting with him flag?

Do all the character paths besides Gran’s start in Chapter 3 at the hotel, or just Jack’s?

And poor Ashley-how will she ever choose who to stay with at the hotel when she’s interested in, like, half the cult? :laughing:


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34 Tied with Sean again! Curse you Chasity!

"I fucked your girlfriend. Well, I suppose they’re more of an ex to you, now. And I have at least twice a week sinse that party


A question: Since you were kind enough to enlighten everyone as to the test score of our family, can you tell us how many April points they have about now?

Health: You are healthy.
Lust: 41% Chastity: 59%
Gluttony: 66% Temperance: 34%
Greed: 67% Charity: 33%
Sloth: 64% Diligence: 36%
Wrath: 50% Forgiveness: 50%
Envy: 77% Kindness: 23%
Pride: 78% Humility: 22%
April: 95%
April: This isn’t love. This is pure respect.
Gran: 52%
Gran: Well aren’t you a sweet young thing?
Jack: 40%
Jack: So have you noticed anything missing lately? Hopefully things you care about?
McCready: 48%
McCready: McCready is a strong and organized leader, and keeps an air of professionalism between you.
Sean: 73%
Sean: You are interesting. He would like to learn more about you. He is also willing to drop his facade around you. Occasionally you may be allowed to see his true self.
Sonya: 36%
Sonya: Fuck you. Not in the fun way.
Monster: 57%

I feel like everyone likes me slightly more than before… except for Sean who likes me slightly less.

Sonya seems slightly less of a worst enemy to me.


I finished re-doing and editing and updating Calliope’s (the unnamed artsy girl) writeup. There were some glaring (at least glaring to me-I’m not sure if anybody else noticed or not) inconsistencies there that I fixed, along with a bunch of other stuff I decided to re-write while I was at it. So I strongly suggest that you all re-read this one in its entirety. A lot was changed. :slight_smile: And now anyone on this forum who knows the first thing about Satanism can stop snickering at me from behind their hands! :grin:

And @Gregory_Pena …your enthusiasm is partly responsible for how quickly this writeup was completed. Thank you! :blush:




I had other things come up, but I finally finished reading your write-up, and it was incredibly good. You really have a gift for writing these. One question though: did Calliope change her orientation when she became older?


@Gregory_Pena Oh, thank you. :blush: You’re too nice.

As of the edited and changed writeup, Calliope has always been a lesbian. :smile: In what I wrote originally she was bisexual though…did you see any lingering references to that? If you did, can you please quote them so I can find and fix them? Thanks! :slight_smile:

Other things that I guess could’ve made her orientation a little ambiguous is that she was turned on by Sonya being into poly and saying that she “really, really liked” Jack.

Calliope wouldn’t seek out sex with men on her own, but she’s kind of a sexual rebel and if Sonya’s into poly with all genders like that, she’d be willing to accommodate her. She wasn’t really turned on by the thought of sex with David per se, and she’d greatly prefer poly with other women such as Sam J, but she’d be turned on enough by doing something that society considers “wrong” that she could do it if that’s what Sonya wanted.

Calliope does “really, really like” Jack, but only as a friend. From what I’ve read in the game, like him saying multiple times how flattering her dress is, Jack is almost certainly interested in her, but alas, as with Sonya, his romantic inclinations are unrequited. :cry:


I have played through the game a number of times before and really enjoyed it, so when I saw it was updated I was glad to have the chance to play through more of it. That said, I’m not sure if I’ve missed it before, but I came across something that seemed off to me. Given how intelligent April is supposed to come across as, the fact that she would say, “merely-could-care-less” during your introduction to her, instead of saying, “merely-could-not-care-less” seems at issue to me. Not sure why it was so jarring to throw me out of the reading this time if it’s been that way all the other times I have read it, but does not seem like a mistake she would make.

Going back to playing it now, just felt I had to point that out.


You get 1,000 April points for out-Apriling April. Congratulations.


Ahh, ahhh! pretending to freak out April’s dere is showing. throws a blanket over it XD I think, on that part, it’s supposed to be ‘could-merely’- but that was written so long ago I don’t know what was in my head at the time. Though if you replace the word ‘merely’ with only, which completely works for the same meaning, you get ‘I-only-could-care-less-if-you-were-to-keel-over-and-die-right-now.’ indicating she’s expressing she cares not at all, and the only thing that would make it less is for you to pass away for her to be done with you. … She’s so friendly, isn’t she? XD

Anywhoo, well, CScomp has started. And that will be taking up almost the -entirety- of my free-time regard this month.


Of course it probably would have been double that if you had managed to out-April April in the month of April. Bummer. What day is it again?


April’s sister May resents your attitude and will dock you 5,000 May points and give them to Eiwynn and then texts April tattling on you. (May just turned 6 today).


Please, May is 2063 years old having been born with the Julian Calendar. She’s too old to care about me.